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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

to find it odd when organisations pander to pushy parents

28 replies

3nonblondeboys80 · 09/10/2014 17:28

ok two recent examples. Last Chrismas production of Primary school. Date was in school diary. Dh arranged his appointments so he could make it home on time. Than maybe two weeks before date gets moved as it clashed with another event. Nothing to do with school. So clearly pushy parents had complained that their ds or dd couldn't possibly miss other event.
More recently my middle ds has been asked to change his swimming lessons as other parents wanted a different time. We have now had to change days completely to accomodate both boys. Not a huge problem of course. However, just find it odd. aibu
aibu to think this is weird

OP posts:

Charitybelle · 09/10/2014 17:32

YABU. Sounds perfectly reasonable to me that organisations want to organise events to suit children involved. This doesn't make the parents 'pushy'.
Re:swimming, why would they refuse to accommodate a request to change times to suit a no. Of parents? Presume they are paying customers and therefore the swim school wants to retain their business? Although it would have been good practice to check first with other parents to see there was no clash.

PumpkinBones · 09/10/2014 17:34

Yanbu.

Why should the OP be asked to accommodate others? Business wise they may be no better off as she then may decide to go elsewhere!

Only1scoop · 09/10/2014 17:35

Yabu to move your plans then moan about it.

If you wanted to keep swimming same day stand your ground.

Andrewofgg · 09/10/2014 17:36

YANBU. Once a date is fixed and announced you stick with it. You don't ask A and B to re-arrange their lives to suit C and D.

VermillionPorcupine · 09/10/2014 17:37

YABU

'Obviously' pushy parents had complained? According to who? Much more likely that the school realised the clash and didn't want x amount of children to miss out.

The change in swimming lessons - if the majority of parents wanted it changed to a different day then it seems sensible. You can't please everyone but you can please the majority.

Ds's go to football coaching once a week. It's always been on a Friday for all ages. Then the school decided to move Reception to a Thursday instead - meaning everyone with more than one dc then had to be at school two nights a week which was a PITA. Out of 15 in ds2's class, about 10 of us had more than one dc so we got together and asked for it to be moved back to a Friday. Two or three complained because a Thursday had worked better for them - but the school changed it back. Realistically, it's better to be convenient for ten parents than three. Just common sense.

Only1scoop · 09/10/2014 17:39

How did you know 'pushy parents' had complained? Did school confirm that?

BackforGood · 09/10/2014 17:46

I'm confused how you've made the jump from changing the date of something, to "obviously pushy parents complained" ?

Sometimes it makes sense to try to work round things so that more people can attend / access the thing ~ nothing to do with being 'pushy', just letting the organisers know of a clash, when sometimes things can be changed.

manicinsomniac · 09/10/2014 18:12

Within reason I will do what parents of the children I teach ask me to do. They're paying a hell of a lot of money so ought to get some say in their child's education and welfare!

Obviously there are limits and, when it's a case of affecting other children or just being plain ridiculous, I say so.

So I think you are being a bit unreasonable but not too much!

Leeds2 · 09/10/2014 19:26

I certainly think that if a school has announced the date of a play, it should stick with that date. Parents do book holiday on the basis of advance notification of dates, and it isn't always easy to rearrange.

desperatedoll · 09/10/2014 20:31

Yabu.
Other people have other plans. It could have been that the primary production clashed with another event for teachers and they didn't have enough staff last minute or first aiders ect. And the swimming thing, what is convenient for you wont be for everyone.

redexpat · 09/10/2014 20:48

The thing is, if you dont ask, you dont get. If you ask rhe worse that can happen is that you get a no. Although can see why youre annoyed about the christmas play.

Original poster

3nonblondeboys80 · 09/10/2014 21:25

the school said that parents had told them that there was another event that evening and they had been advised of it. however, there were also several things that other children in the class were involved in things on the other night. I always work on the basis that in the event of a clash than school comes 1st.
Re swimming I think they closed down 5he claa ompletely so I had to move. clearly my money is not as important as the others.

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Original poster

3nonblondeboys80 · 09/10/2014 21:26

it was a cubs xms party and no teachers were involved.

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arethereanyleftatall · 09/10/2014 21:43

Yabu

Original poster

3nonblondeboys80 · 09/10/2014 21:54

also couldn't just pull out of swimming as it is the only pool I can get to as don't drive.

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Original poster

3nonblondeboys80 · 09/10/2014 21:56

think it was just 1 or 2 parents out of 10 for swimming so hardly most of the class.

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aermingers · 09/10/2014 22:04

3nonblondeboys, YABU in one sense. It's not pushy parents. It's a cubs Christmas party. Presumably several of the children will be at that party? It's not a matter of 'pushy parents' but if quite a number of children have two events which clash it would make sense to move one of these events.

However I think YANBU in that it probably should have been the cub party that moved. That sounds like the kind of thing where parents would just be dropping off and picking up and much easier for rearrangements to be made than an event like a school production where people will have actually arranged time off work to be there.

aermingers · 09/10/2014 22:07

Sorry, and YABU about the swimming. If they don't have enough children to make the class at the time you need financially viable then obviously that time is not convenient for the majority of parents. You do sound rather like you wanted the class to be kept at the time it was because it was convient just for you - which is sort of what you are complaining about other people doing? Wanting something to be organised at a time which is convenient to them disregarding the fact it's not for other people? Can you not take him to another swimming class outside school time?

Viviennemary · 09/10/2014 22:11

YANBU. You should protest loudly to the school. Once a date is fixed and notice given out it shouldn't be changed.

Original poster

3nonblondeboys80 · 09/10/2014 22:52

these are private lessons at a public pool. I selected a convenient time for my boys from the few available slots. we have been going for a couple of months. If anything the classes are oversubscribed so losing one or two students wouldn't impact. sadly as I don't drive I just have to go along with it. Not sure how many other parents have been asked to move their children to keep one or 2 happy.

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Karoleann · 09/10/2014 22:55

with swimming lessons, just say you can't move. They've confirmed the times and once you've paid that equates to a legally binding contract.

I'm not sure what not being able to drive has to do with it.

skylark2 · 09/10/2014 22:56

"it probably should have been the cub party that moved"

If it's anything like round here, there's one Scout hut and it's used every evening, often by Cubs/Brownies/Beavers/Rainbows early in the evening and Scouts/Guides/Rangers/Explorers later on.

There may well have been zero other times they could have held the party.

Original poster

3nonblondeboys80 · 09/10/2014 22:57

the cub party is no more essental though than any other party the week before xmas or football training etc. school events trump everything imo.

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Original poster

3nonblondeboys80 · 09/10/2014 23:01

what i mean is I couldn't stay put as I was told class no longer exists and I can't go elsewhere. It isn't a huge problem moving. it just seems wrong that we are just expected to move to suit others.

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Original poster

3nonblondeboys80 · 09/10/2014 23:05

think maybe 3 dc were affected with school thing but many more than that missed out on similar events due to move. Anyway it is over now and fortunately we have no further contact with this school.

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