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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

to ask if you would take a drug, dna or lie detector test

42 replies

kiki0202 · 08/10/2014 09:51

I'm watching Jeremy Kyle (I know I know) and the guy is refusing to take a drug test I've seen a few of these type of things where people refuse to take tests and it's got me wondering why would you refuse unless your lying??

When I fell pg with DS DP didn't think he could have children and I thought quite often what if someone questions if it was DP's child (no one did) I thought I would have happily gave a dna test but a friend said she would have be furious to be accused of something like that and refused if it was her.

So If you were accused of lying/cheating/stealing by anyone would you prove it or refuse on principle?

OP posts:

HighwayDragon · 08/10/2014 09:55

I'd go completely mental, but I'd do it just to rub it in their smarmy faces.

PresidentTwonk · 08/10/2014 09:55

I would if I was innocent! Not sure the relationship would last though if say my DH wanted me to take a lie detector test as clearly there isn't much trust! I wouldn't do it on national TV though!

Also always wondered say a DW thinks her DH is cheating. He does a lie detector and passes. Would the DW (obviously having believed strongly he was a cheat) not just think oh well it's only 97% (or however much) accurate so he must be one of the people it's not accurate on, or think he must have tricked the test?

BastardGoDarkly · 08/10/2014 09:56

I'd sort it out privately, but on principle, I'd do fuck all Jeremy Kyle told me to.

BauerTime · 08/10/2014 09:57

Yeah id take one, even if I was absolutely furious to be accused id still want to prove myself to be in the right. Although the accusation might have different repercussions, I don't think that being unwilling to do the test would help anything.

Hurr1cane · 08/10/2014 10:01

I'd do a DNA and drug test on principle but I would not do a lie detector test. If someone thinks I'm capable of lying then they can fuck off out of my life with my blessing.

LittleBairn · 08/10/2014 10:03

No. If I were asked the relationship would end that very moment.
If for legal reasons I had to take a DNA test to prove paternity them obviously it would need to be dobe.

MajesticWhine · 08/10/2014 10:04

Lie detectors are not reliable, so I would not take one if the outcome mattered. It would be interesting to try it though and see what happened. I would be more than happy to take a drug test or dna test. Nothing to hide.

VermillionPorcupine · 08/10/2014 10:06

If dh ever asked me for a DNA or lie detector test I would tell him to go fuck himself. No way. I would refuse all the way.

Sabrinnnnnnnna · 08/10/2014 10:07

I would never do a lie detector - they are not reliable at all, certainly not as reliable as JK et al would have you believe. They are not admissible in UK courts for this reason. Psychopaths can pass them even if they're lying through their teeth.

HavanaSlife · 08/10/2014 10:08

Lie detector no , others yes.

I dont think they are reliable enough

VermillionPorcupine · 08/10/2014 10:08

I can't imagine any reason why someone would ask me to take a drug test, unless something in my behaviour was odd - so if someone was really concerned about me and thought it was due to drugs, i'd take a drug test to shut them up.

futterwacken · 08/10/2014 10:10

I’d take a DNA or drug test just for the satisfaction of saying HA! YOU WERE WRONG. But it would be the end of the friendship/relationship I’d be so angry at being accused. I wouldn’t take a lie detector on Jeremy Kyle as I believe they’d be happy to tamper to create as much drama as possible.

PrivateJourney · 08/10/2014 10:20

If it was someone who had a sensible reason for asking me to take a drugs test, police or sports authority, then yes I would. If it was someone who's supposed to love and trust me then I'd be furious and there wouldn't really be any point proving myself innocent because the relationship would be doomed anyway.

DNA, I'm less happy about. If it were paternity reasons, I'd feel the same way but I might be prepared to have the test so I could prove to the child at a later date that I wasn't lying. The authorities having DNA of innocent people makes me feel uneasy but if faced with that actual situation I would do some research about how records are kept etc.

Lie detectors are mostly nonsense IMO

None of this would happen on Jeremy Kyle!

Spindarella · 08/10/2014 10:23

It depends.

If my partner thought I'd been cheating then no as once my word isn't enough then what good does a lie detector result do?

If other people cast aspersions (for example when you hear of a baby of a different skin colour to their parents being born - I find those reports fascinating!) then possibly, just to have something there on paper for the doubters.

The drug test are a funny one. I suppose if I'd been a drug addict but cleaned up and then was starting to act odd then I suppose those around me could be entitled to know for sure whether I was using again.

Original poster

kiki0202 · 08/10/2014 10:25

In my position DP and I hadn't been together long and he thought he couldn't have children, he didn't doubt me for a second but I was aware than his grandmother refused 2 acknowledge 2 of her grandkids because she didn't know the mother (she didn't know me as lived far away) and would only accept kids she knew were her own family. I kept thinking what if she starts this with me what would I do then thought I would do a DNA for DP and DS so everyone would know the truth and rummers and gossip couldn't effect them. I think when DS was born no one could really argue he isn't DP's anyway.

I wasn't and am not close to DP's fathers side so it wouldn't have bothered me to much but in other circumstances I may have felt different.

OP posts:

PrettyPictures92 · 08/10/2014 10:26

I always wondered why the heck folk do the lie detector test knowing they're gonna fail and then refuse to admit they've lied!

Gets on my tits big time. But yes, I'd do them just to prove the person wrong, and then tell them to fuck right off for not believing me in the first place.

MadDoggy · 08/10/2014 10:27

Yes to a drug or DNA tests - though as others have said this would be the end of the relationship.

No to a lie detectors. I'm training as a academic psychologist - and am specializing in an area where lie detectors have been used in research. They are very unreliable and are only just over 50% accurate - you get the same accuracy from just guessing. In fact you may score better than a lie detector if you are good at reading body language. As others have said they are not allowed to be used in court or investigations due to this (they are allowed as as 'questioning tool' in investigations i.e. 'you lie detector says you did it, tell us the truth' etc. How moral this is is another debate as obviously there are issues with false confessions, leading investigators down only 1 path etc)

MadDoggy · 08/10/2014 10:28

Sorry for spelling/grammar - I have a 5 month old wiggling and screaming on my lap!

LemonadeRayGun · 08/10/2014 10:29

I wouldn't do a lie detector test. They are horribly unreliable, they mean nothing.

Boleh · 08/10/2014 10:32

Work can require me to take a drugs test if they have reasonable grounds to suspect I'm using drugs and I was quite happy to agree to that when I joined. Had I joined the same company in the US I'd have been subject to routine testing - also fine. I can't imagine why anyone else would require me to take one but I wouldn't have a problem with it.
DNA testing, fine for any kind of police investigation or family related things but would be reluctant for health screening in case it impacted on medical insurance (am abroad).
Lie detector, absolutely not, unreliable. That's why they aren't used in the UK justice system.

As someone else mentioned, the mere suggestion of JK ever featuring in my life would not only cause me to refuse on principle but run for the hills!!

GilesGirl · 08/10/2014 10:33

Interesting how everyone is assuming that it's your partner asking you to take the drug test. I realize that's because the OP mentioned JK, but there are other reasons a drug test might be requested, i.e. for a job.

I would do any of them, including a lie detector, even though they are totally easy to beat. I have nothing to hide.

calculatorsatdawn · 08/10/2014 13:21

When I started my new job I came for a pre employement medical which (obviously unknown to me) included a drugs test (a cup of tea and a paracetamol is the extent of my drug taking). I was desperate for the loo when I got there so nipped to the toilets while I was waiting for someone to come and get me from reception then they sprang the drugs test and I had nothing left. Not wanting to come up with nothing and seem suspicious I nearly prolapsed trying to squeeze enough out.

Muddlewitch · 08/10/2014 13:28

I think I would do it just to prove them wrong, then promptly tell them to move along out of my life.

FraidyCat · 08/10/2014 13:37

I wouldn't take any test of this type unless the benefits outweighed the risks. Even if I knew I should pass, no test is completely reliable, so you would have to consider the consequences of the test giving the wrong result.

MaidOfStars · 08/10/2014 13:45

I wouldn't do any of those things to prove myself to anyone in a social or relationship context. I guess if you were a former addict/living with one and being clean was a condition of your ongoing relationship, it might be reasonable to have drug testing going on.

I would take a drug or DNA test in a legal context, if it were required to exclude me from a crime I was under suspicion of committing. I would submit to drug screening if it were necessary for my job. An aside: in the UK, which jobs might attract drug screening (assuming emergency services, driving jobs maybe...what about doctors and nurses)?

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