Would it be rude to write "no siblings" on a party invite?

[itiswhatitiswhatitis]

Just doing ds's birthday invitations. We're having it at home so space is limited. Was going to write 'unfortunately due to space we can't extend the invite to siblings'. Would you think I was rude.

Children will be 6/7 so old enough to be left in most cases. Parents are welcome to stay or go as they can hang out in the kitchen but the thought of an extra 10 toddlers/preschoolers or lummoxing pre teens running around to makes me feel ill!.

Wow, people actually bring uninvited guests to kid's parties? That is definitely rude. You're not unreasonable OP. At all!

Yanbu at all, sounds fine.

That is a great idea to name the party bags - and if any child can't attend on the day (eg suddenly sick etc) they can still get their party bag later. Saves any squabbling too.

It's not rude at all if the party is in a public place though, such as at a farm or soft play as you can pay for entry and food for them separately, I think no siblings is only ok to stipulate when it's at home.

I disagree Jam, at soft play we always booked a private slot to avoid people bringing extras that DS had not invited. It's unfair on the hosts to have another child hanging around and looking disappointed when food and party bags come out.

I have always had extra children/ siblings turn up at dds parties. I think it is really cheeky and it would never occur to me to do that.

However would never turn anyone away and make up a few spare party bags.

Op YANBU.

"No siblings" is not rude.

"No siblings you freeloading wankers" bit rude

I go to loads of public place parties were siblings turn up. If you book private slot then fair enough but no one should dictate at a public venue...I'd find that cheeky tbh!

As they get older I think it's harder for people to arrange Childcare esp at weekends. Different if the party is drop off but sometimes the party can be half hour away so can result in a few hours Childcare, which is not only a pain to sort but unfair on other kids if you've worked all week and hardly seen them. In those cases I always take both and me and dd1 get a day out whilst dd2 is at the party. She eats and plays separately.

I'm suprised many get acceptance letters if you dictate no siblings, I'd much rather someone come than refuse because they had no Childcare.

I almost always have to ask if I can bring the other dd along - single parent with few options for childcare. Hope people haven't been thinking How Rude all this time!

Why can't you just drop your child? To bring an uninvited child is incredibly rude and unfair on the host.
It's hard enough to manage the number you have envisaged ,let alone have to deal with other kids ,probably of different ages.
I have never heard of this before until I began to read Mumsnet.

Party in a public place, eg soft play, it's fine to bring along siblings etc as long as they don't expect for siblings to be fed and they pay their entrance fee. Why people think it's acceptable to bring siblings and expect the party to pay for them I have no idea. But there are some that think this is acceptable.
If a party is in a hall or a home, it's not acceptableto just turn up with extra children. If dc are invited to a party and I have no childcare for siblings, I speak to the host, tell them the situation, and ask what they want me to do. I can either leave invited dc at the party and go home or stay at the party with siblings. We've had 50/50 on what parents want us to do.

If I take sibling (and only would if it's to a public place) I stay and they don't get involved in party. Not an issue if it's drop off but if its half hour away I won't leave to come back again - I wouldn't expect others too either. It's totally normal near me. It's either drop off or they all come. No siblings get food or party bags though. Can't see the problem tbh if host isn't dealing with them.

Public places isn't a problem if they want to pay for a sibling and tbh if it's buffet style food I have no issue with getting an extra plate or two (so much gets left over anyway) this time it's just about crowd control!

I've had people bring uninvited siblings at all the parties I've done. There is one particular family who didn't even apologise when they bought two siblings!!
Then there's the one who asked to bring a sibling who the birthday child wasn't keen on but if I'd said no it would have been really uncomfortable at the school gates, such a horrid position to be put in as host.
I wouldn't dream of even asking. If I didn't have childcare I would just say we couldn't make it.

With my DDs' parties (which are at home i.e. not a public place or large space), I tend to write on the invitation 'Sorry but we do not have space for parents or siblings' or 'A parent is welcome to stay but we do not have enough space for siblings - sorry' depending on the age the children have reached at the time.

I've never had anyone complain about this, nor has anyone tried to donate an extra child to the party which is just as well given that the girls never invite more than 7 or 8 friends and party bags etc are labelled in advance. A few parents have asked if I mind if they steal my line for their DCs' invitations next year though! My feeling is that it's better to be upfront about these things; if you don't want/can't accommodate siblings, then say so clearly at the same time as the invitation is issued. That way, parents have time to work out whether or not this is a party their DC can make. After all, parties aren't compulsory!

Nope, not rude. Your party, up to you really.

I once had the opposite happen. Dd1 aged 5 invited to a party, the mum said dd2 was welcome to come too. Open event in hall type of thing. When we came to leave the party girl said to dd2 'you can't have a party bag, you weren't invited.' Dd2, three years old, bit tearful as she didn't understand why her sister had a party bag and she didn't.

Bit of a lack of communication between party girl and mum I think.

Hi - I put a polite message that we couldn't accommodate siblings on my invites and whilst most people were fine, one mum was really cross and said that she wouldn't be bringing her daughter if her younger one wasn't invited. we never spoke again!

tara49 blimey

had ds6 party 2 wks ago, 4 kids invited turnt up with siblings which parent expected to get food and party bag/cake.
was soft play aswell so cost me £13 a head, I was very clear, they had to pay admittance and theres a cafe, buy food over there

Regarding soft play in public parties, yes, we had 8 uninvited siblings come one year. 5 of the parents paid at the door, 3 ended up having a row with the member of staff when they tried to insist that the sibling had been invited too. I had to go and intervene, it was very embarrassing. The same 3 children made themselves comfy at the food table afterwards which meant that 3 of the invited children were left standing looking lost without places while I sorted it out. And then by the end all the parents were chatting and I had 8 extra kids in the throng for party bags looking at me hopefully. Luckily I had brought spares. But it's just a bit rubbish. Parents think, oh one extra, they can squeeze one extra in but that doesn't work when everyone thinks that!

It is strange how some parents seem unable to cope with only 1 kid being invited to something. As adults we don't bring uninvited people to small parties at people's houses why do some parents think it's OK to do that with kids? If it's impossible for the invited child to attend alone you decline.
I think all invitations for kids sound as though they should have "this invite is for the named invitee only" on them.
I live in Scotland and never had this problem though so maybe it's a regional thing or I've just been lucky. Drop and run was more common here.

That's not rude lots of parents do it. Generally 6/7 year olds would be left and then picked up anyway.

You've worded it very well. I don't think it's rude at all.

I don't invite siblings, but some people are cheeky enough to bring them, and these uninvited children end up very bored. It should be obvious that a 4yo doesn't share the same interests with a 9/10yos

I worried about this but got round it by sending a follow-up email when all rsvp's had been received saying something like, "Great that all 15 can come. Blah blah. Drop-off at 2pm, pick-up at 4pm. They will be in good hands and I have your contact details in case there's any problem". I considered this to make it perfectly clear. Worked a treat. Good luck & hope it goes well! ??