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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Am I overreacting?

46 replies

Kth1981 · 06/10/2014 21:49

My son is 10 and loves to play FIFA with his friends on xbox. I regularly check his friends list on there and can hear the chats he has with them online. I also make him aware (so I thought) that he does not accept any friend requests other than his friends that I know which he has done up until now. When I checked his account the other day he had accepted a friend request off a name I didn't know and when I asked him he said it's from his new PE teacher at school, he has sent the request to a few of his friends in his class and chats to some of them on there. The "teacher" is actually a 17 year old lad who is working at the school as part of his studies. I have spoken to the head teacher who has assured me that he has spoken to the lad and he understands that he can't behave like that and was just trying to be friendly with the boys.
I'm not completely happy with this lad continuing to teach my son after this though, I don't want to be harsh or accuse him of anything but I just find it hard to understand why he'd want to chat with the boys out of school time. I feel a line has been crossed.
Am I being unreasonable or worrying about nothing? I'm not sure what to do

OP posts:
LuisSuarezTeeth · 06/10/2014 21:52

It's a teenager making contact with fellow gamers. He's been told, learned a lesson and that's it. Gamers don't tend to make age distinctions.

Chill. It's been dealt with.

KnackeredMuchly · 06/10/2014 21:54

What Luis said - yanbu to chat to the HT but gaming is slightly different

Bowlersarm · 06/10/2014 21:56

YABU.

Agree with them.

PhallicGiraffe · 06/10/2014 21:57

In my opinion, over-reaction. He's only playing computer games, probably didn't realise that's some parents might think he's a paedophile for chatting whilst playing a game.

WhenSheWasBadSheWasHorrid · 06/10/2014 21:58

Yep overreacting

FelixTitling · 06/10/2014 21:59

Yabu. It's been dealt with.

supermariossister · 06/10/2014 22:08

yabu, he made a mistake that's been dealt with.

mamapain · 06/10/2014 22:11

He's doing it for the gaming experience he doesn't actually want to chat with them iyswim. So yes YABU.

maddy68 · 06/10/2014 22:11

Over reaction. It's been dealt with

chundercatsarego · 06/10/2014 22:13

Overreacting

MrsPiggie · 06/10/2014 22:14

Yabu, he's a young lad who probably wasn't aware of the boundaries. He was dealt with, let it go.

Goldmandra · 06/10/2014 22:15

There's nothing sinister about a 17YO linking up with younger boys for the purpose of gaming. He is probably just a bit naive and didn't realise it is different because he is in a teaching role.

If he was still in secondary school he could easily be gaming with 11YOs who are fellow pupils.

He hasn't done anything you should be concerned about.

The fact that someone has broken a rule designed to protect children and staff by defining boundaries shouldn't automatically mean that they are perceived to be a risk to children.

Alisvolatpropiis · 06/10/2014 22:23

Yabu.

It's gaming not meeting up socially.

It has been dealt with and I imagine the young man in question has learnt his lesson.

GenerationX2 · 06/10/2014 23:52

Yabu - you have shared your concerns move on and let the lad live his life having learnt a leasson

tara49 · 06/10/2014 23:57

I agree - he's only a kid himself and has had the boundaries explained.Overreaction to pursue this further.

Morloth · 06/10/2014 23:59

At 17 he is still a kid and still learning himself.

He did something wrong (but harmless in this context), has been told it was wrong so presumably won't do it again.

Will you be so unforgiving of your DS when he is a teenager and makes mistakes?

ThreeQuartersEmpty · 07/10/2014 00:01

YABU.
In DS's school a 17yo is appointed as mentor to the younger boys. I would be happy if he was taking time to game with him online out of school.

Pipbin · 07/10/2014 00:03

YABU. He simply didn't understand that this was something that he shouldn't do.

ChippingInLatteLover · 07/10/2014 00:08

He's 17 year old kid, playing a football game online and either sent or accepted their requests to play. I really don't see the problem for YOU, only for the 17 yo who isn't allowed to do this because he's 'teaching' Hmm them.

MammaTJ · 07/10/2014 00:37

Chill your boots! It is not a big deal at all.

however · 07/10/2014 00:46

Well, it's been dealt with. But I'd be very surprised if anyone completing teacher training hadn't been warned against online relationships with their students. So, I agree a line has been crossed and it is a very clear line.

magpiegin · 07/10/2014 03:21

However- a 17 year old won't be doing teacher training, it will be a levels or other college course.

I agree with the others, it has been dealt with.

temporarilyjerry · 07/10/2014 05:45

YABU for calling a 17 year old boy 'his new P.E. teacher.'

fairylightsintheloft · 07/10/2014 06:20

another YABU. this lad isn't a teacher, he is an assistant who has only been in the job a month. As teachers we get full on child protection training every couple of years, lots of stuff about email / door open for meetings stuff but this lad almost certainly hasn't. Get your DS to delete him from the list and leave it alone.

figgieroll · 07/10/2014 06:28

He won't be a teacher, he will be there for work experience as part of a course he's on - probably PE BTEC. So he will be studying with a load of under 18s and they have probably all befriended each other being football and computer mad

Don't over react. Just keep an eye on interactions