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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To think other parents aren't following the rules?

61 replies

HamishBamish · 06/10/2014 18:31

DS2 had one bout of diarrhoea at nursery this afternoon and is now not allowed back for 48h. He has had no other symptoms and appears fine.

I will be keeping him off for 48h as per the exclusion policy, but the same thing happened a week or so ago (he had no further issues then either) and a couple of weeks before that he was off with a vomiting bug.

AIBU to think that for him to be getting these bugs so frequently there must be other parents not sticking to the 48h exclusion rule? I'm fastidious about hygiene/hand washing and I know the nursery is too (as far as they can be), so where on earth is he picking these things up? DS2 is at school and although he did have the vomiting bug he hasn't had anything else.

I'm just fed up having one thing after the other (2 days is a long time to have a pre-schooler home if you're working), especially if other people aren't sticking to the rules. I work from home, so it's not as drastic as it would be if I had to be in the office, but I still have to work.

OP posts:
MrsTerryPratchett · 06/10/2014 18:34

Children get diarrhea for all sorts of reasons and I know a child who threw up all the time when she was small. No reason just a vommy child. Maybe food, could be pre-symptomatic children, he licked the floor (maybe that's just mine), touched something then wiped nose?

Original poster
HamishBamish · 06/10/2014 18:40

Children get diarrhea for all sorts of reasons

True, but it's very unusual for him unless it's really a bug. It's just infuriating, especially when you hear people commiserating with each other a pick up about little Johnny who was sick last night but mysteriously still is in nursery (this was from a couple of weeks ago). It really pisses me off, because if other people aren't observing the exclusion period then what's the point!

OP posts:
Penfold007 · 06/10/2014 18:41

You obviously know your little one best but is one loose bowel movement diarrhoea? Yes some parents will break the rules.

deakymom · 06/10/2014 18:43

you will always find people who do this everywhere you go unfortunately i've had schools where the mom sends her child in with nits you could see from across the playground her head had so many eggs in it you could never have got a brush through yet her mom did her hair daily and didn't see anything

stargirl1701 · 06/10/2014 18:44

Of course they are.

I am a primary school teacher and it happens all the time. Child vomits at 9.30am in class. You speak to them, and 9 times out of 10, they vomited before school. Parents 'thought' they were fine. You then get a domino effect over the next fortnight with at least 2 off every day.

Original poster
HamishBamish · 06/10/2014 18:46

You obviously know your little one best but is one loose bowel movement diarrhoea?

According to the nursery it is. To be honest, at his last nursery they wouldn't have classed it as diarrhoea (it would have had to have happened more than once), but at the school nursery they do.

I'm more than happy to keep him off, but if others aren't doing the same then it's a bit of a pointless exercise.

OP posts:
astewart · 06/10/2014 18:48

Mine threw up at 10am this morning, when I went to collect her from school she was running up and down the corridor, she came home and ate 2 meat pies, an apple a packet of crisp, half bag licorise all sort ad a fish finger butty. She's now playing out.
She's going back to school tomorrow!

almaradlu · 06/10/2014 18:50

Yes they do break the rules, I have lost count over the years I have been stood in the yard hearing parents saying their child had been ill with D&V the night before but as they were ''fine'' that morning they were sending them in.

MrsHathaway · 06/10/2014 18:52

It is very frustrating.

A parent posted on FB about being up all night with the bug, then did the school run for the unafflicted child with the poorly ones in tow, with graphic descriptions of how they were still being sick from both ends. And then had them all back the next day Hmm

She has also had the gall to complain about how the bug is spreading through school.

It is a pain when your child is instantly better after a good upchuck, and you have to entertain them at home for two whole days, but the rule is evidence-based and should be observed.

skylark2 · 06/10/2014 18:56

DS threw up (in the possetting sense) every half an hour or so until he was about 3.

DD had constant runny nappies whenever she was teething.

Thank goodness their nursery took the common sense approach to it. They (and I) could tell when they were actually ill, at which point yes the 48 hour rule applied.

DuckandCat · 06/10/2014 19:07

One loose bowel movement isn't diarrhoea imo, it has to be frequent over a short period of time.

DD goes to day nursery while I work and if I kept her off every time they wanted me to she'd never be there!

She had chicken pox recently and they have a blanket 'two weeks off' rule. Surely she can come back when her spots have scabbed over and she is well?? Confused

If prescribed antibiotics they're not allowed back for a full 48hrs, no matter what the reason!

I teach primary myself and wouldn't send DD with D&V etc, but sometimes you're just not sure. And if you need to be at work, you take the chance. Last thing I want to do is 'waste' a day off to look after DD when she's not even ill.

But yes obviously sick children at school or nursery is annoying.

Original poster
HamishBamish · 06/10/2014 19:11

They (and I) could tell when they were actually ill, at which point yes the 48 hour rule applied.

Well, personally I wouldn't class 1 loose stool as diarrhoea. If I've eaten something particularly rich for example it happens to me (sorry if tmi!). However, it's difficult for me to really tell as I wasn't there when it happened. All I can see is how he appears now (fine), but he could still have a bug...

He will be kept off for 48h. I've never sent a sick child in. I just don't feel he's actually sick!

OP posts:
PrivateJourney · 06/10/2014 19:11

I know it won't make me popular but is it possible your fastidiousness (is there such a word?) is making him vulnerable, a few germs being a good thing for immunity and all that?

But yes, some parents will be ignoring the rules and others will be sending in a child who appears well in the morning and becomes afflicted during the day, as you did.

PrivateJourney · 06/10/2014 19:12

If you don't think he's sick then he hasn't caught anything as a result of other parents not following the rules....has he? Confused

Original poster
HamishBamish · 06/10/2014 19:15

Ah, of course it has to be my fault doesn't it Private. I don't sterilise every surface constantly, but yes I do insist on hand washing before eating. I thought that was standard practice. Maybe you don't?

OP posts:
Original poster
HamishBamish · 06/10/2014 19:16

Sorry, I forgot the obligatory Confused

OP posts:
PrivateJourney · 06/10/2014 19:18

See, I said it wouldn't make me popular! Of course hand washing is normal. Not sure fastidiousness is. A few germs are good for us, it was only a thought and you did ask why he might be getting so many bugs.

MargotLovedTom · 06/10/2014 19:21

astewart - I'd be surprised if the school let your dd attend tomorrow, saying as she was sick on school premises and sent home today.

Lizardc · 06/10/2014 19:23

I think it has to be two loose poos at my son's nursery before they worry. I thought that was pretty standard. One seems very over-cautious.

DoubtfireDear · 06/10/2014 19:25

YANBU, it pisses me off the number of children that I know for a fact have been sent into school with bad colds, stomach bugs etc just to save their parents from having to 'put up with them' at home all day.

hope your wee one gets is better soon

Charitybelle · 06/10/2014 19:28

You're forgetting the staff. I know a nursery worker. She gets paid a min wage pittance and has slave driver bosses who most definitely would sack her if she took 48 hours off every time she was sick/picked up d&v from one of the kids. I bet a lot of the staff are passing these bugs around without realising?
Also, my sister is a nurse and works with people with compromised immune systems (NHS) but if she or her colleagues have more than two recorded sicknesses a year, that's an instant disciplinary meeting. So they all drag their Typhoid Mary arses into work without fail. I worked in HR and have no idea how they get away with it, but they do....?

Inkspellme · 06/10/2014 19:31

I think that like the creche I work in your child should need to have diarrhea more than once in 24 hours.

However, I would agree with another poster who asked whether everything is a bit "too" clean? I mean this in the best of intentions but if there are not enough bugs at home he won't have a strong an immunity as he could have.

For the poster who thought it unreasonable that a child should be on antibiotics 48 hours before returning to creche. Well, yes, that sounds quite sensible tbh. anti biotics are for bacterial infections. bacterial infections are, by their nature, contagious. therefore keeping a contagious child away from the nursery until the antibiotics have had a chance sounds perfect to me. The rules aren't just for the other children you know - theres alsi staff who do not want to be sick.

ChippingInLatteLover · 06/10/2014 19:33

How old is he? (Sorry if you've said, I can't see it).

ChippingInLatteLover · 06/10/2014 19:35

How long has he been there and how happy are you with them otherwise?

I wouldn't class one 'loose movement' as diarrohea myself and if this has happened a few weeks in a row, I'd be wondering if they weren't actually trying to keep numbers down & payments up Hmm

PrivateJourney · 06/10/2014 19:35

Ink? My infected finger is catching? I really didn't know that, or that things like chest/throat infections etc. are catching. You live and learn.