To want to scream 'It's not because I'm fat!'.

[SkinnyDipChunkyDunk]

This is my DF's answer to everything that I say, some examples are;

Me- 'I love the rain'.

DF- 'It's because your fat and can hide away'.

Me- 'I hate talking to people on the phone'.

DF- 'It's because your fat and lack confidence'.

Me- 'I would love to move up north again, we were very happy there'.

DF- 'It's because your fat and are trying to avoid seeing people you know'.

Me- 'I can't stand baby groups'.

DF- 'It's because your fat, you would love them if you were thin'.

I am at the end of my tether, everything I say he reminds me that I'm fat, blames it on my weight or tells me that I should be thin as I would enjoy my life more.

I've had enough of hearing it, I just want to scream 'It's not because I'm fat!'.

Who is df op?

My reply would be "You're only saying that because you're an ignorant twat."
How rude!!

Sorry, he is my Father.

Stop talking to him, what a dickhead.

not sure who df is to you

but they are not good for you

Can't believe he is still your DF!!!

Have you told him to stop saying it?

Gosh that's awful

I'd be tempted to no longer talk to him

oh dear

that is horrible and bullying

has he always been that way?

What weight is he?

If df stands for friend then you need change it to dnf

Definatly not friend!

Sorry - thought the F was fiancée.
Say - "Dad, stop calling me fat - it is rude, it is also not the reason for every word that comes out my mouth"

Incidentally, do you feel you have a weight issue?

Well he's a charmer isn't he?

Being kind, I would suggest that he thinks your life/health would be better if you lost weight and is trying to illutstrate this to you in case you are in some way unable to link concepts and is unfortunately mixing fatherly concern with being annoying.

My mum can be exactly the same. I have a good job, great husband, 2 lovely kids, nice house but apparently my un-size-8-ness is what I should really be focussing on, particualrly as men (my husband) apparently need something nice to look at (not me) so men (my husband) leave their wives (me) because they are fat and frumpy.

Sorry that's a harder one.

You'll have to say dad I love you but if you can't be nice then I won't share my life with you.

Ie tell him nothing.

"You always blame everything on my weight, do you really think thin people have no problems in their life? Honestly, your answer to everything is 'because your fat', I'm sick of hearing it from you, and I'm sick of hearing it because you are being a dick about my bodyshape, not because I'm fat."

Then can you turn it into a joke at his expense? eg. "My boiler isn't working, and before you say it, it's not stopped working because I'm fat." etc.

If you are happy with your body shape, tell him that and to stop commenting, particularly if you have DDs, they don't need to hear that body shape limits your life.

(I don't get the not wanting to talk on the phone being blamed on fatness though, if you really lacked confidence because of your body shape surely you'd prefer talking on the phone than face to face where people can see your body shape? How can becoming thinner help with confidence that's not appearance related?)

My DF (dad) has been scathing about my weight all of my life, comments like "never mind the quality feel the width" and "build for comfort not speed". I have grown up with it. He made comments about boyfriends leaving me too. He made out it was a joke, but it was relentless. I know he was worried about me, underneath it but growing up with those kind of comments was probably the least helpful thing he could have done. My emotional eating is a real challenge now.

I tried ignoring him, explaining that it wasn't helpful, asking him to stop, avoiding him as much as possible. When I got to about 25 years old and I just flipped out, I went absolutely batshit and really laid it on the line to him, if he thought my weight made me a bad person then I felt sorry for him for being so shallow, but he had to stop being so rude and making ridiculous comments all the bloody time. I stormed out and took my time in going back, 2 months probably. He did finally shut up. it is only now, about 20 years later that he has mentioned it again, carefully and in very tactful terms, as he's having health problems and he is worried it will happen to me.

You will have to confront him. I hope don't have to follow my example but it's not doing you much good listening to him.

Good luck.

very mean, and un-called for. if your dad is worried bout your weight he should address it, not pussy foot around it.

what size are you out of interest?

What a twat.

Doesn't matter what size you are, he's a dick. Fuck it, give to him both barrels.

"I might be fat but if I gave a fuck I would diet. You, on the other hand, will always be a prick".

He sounds like an idiot. Just avoid him till he learns to be sensible.

Of course YANBU.

Probably best not to scream at him, he'd probably find some weird reason to blame that on fat too. At least tell him to change the record, you're bored with the one he's stuck on.

Attack him with the poker and hiss in his ear that it's not your fault, it's because you're fat? Honestly, he sounds like a tactless, obtrusive idiot.

Even if there were the merest smidgen of truth in his 'insights' (if you have frequently blamed a lack of self-confidence on your excess weight in his hearing) or if he is terribly worried about the health repercussions of a high BMI, this is fat-shaming, not a polite, considerate way of trying to express concern about the physical or mental health of someone he presumably loves.

I am morbidly obese there is no doubt about that but I am an adult and I know that I need to lose weight.

I dread talking to him because I know that he will just mention my weight, I can't have a normal conversation without him bringing my weight into it.

I understand that he has concerns, I have put on a lot of weight but I've also lost 8 stone a long time ago. I know how to diet, calling me fat and shaming me in everything I say is frankly pissing me off.

I'm so sorry - doesn't he realise that this behaviour of his is entirely counterproductive?

flame me for this but is there another way of looking at this? If you are morbidly obese then clearly you know what that means - you are shortening your life expectancy because of your weight. perhaps what your dad is really trying to say is how much he loves you and doesn't want to see anything happen to you because of your weight. he obviously thinks that the way to get you to lose weight is to keep on nagging about it not realising how much it pisses you off. so why not say next time " yes dad, I know you love me and want to see this sorted out but keeping calling me fat is never going to achieve that" sometimes people need the bleeding obvious pointed out to them and your dad is one of them.

Is your father fat too? Or is he thin? Does he ever have anything positive to say to you?

You do need to take him to task over it - ask him why he feels the need to relate everything back to your size, does he honestly think your life would be so different if you were thin? Does he honestly think you don't realise that you are overweight, and that he's doing you some kind of favour every time he says it?

Is he bald, or does he have bad clothes or something? One way that can work (and because it's your Dad, not your child or partner, I think it's reasonable) is to turn it back on him - so pick your "thing" and every time he says something, say "oh it's because you're bald/badly dressed/too thin" or whatever. He'd probably "get it" (unless he has the hide of a rhino) and it might encourage him to stop.