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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To take an 18 month old to Spain on Holiday?

45 replies

BadFam1 · 06/10/2014 13:03

Me and DH having a bit of a debate at the moment.

My Dad and Stepmum for a couple of years before we had DS rented a villa somewhere in Europe and invited both DH and me, and my stepbrother out to stay with them. We all went to Cyprus in 2012 and myself and DH went to Spain with them last year when I was about 6.5 months pregnant. They always pay for the villa so we just buy flights and treat them to dinner etc a few times during the holiday.

We always have a lovely time, and get along great during the holiday.

We didn't go away this year as DS was very little and tbh we couldn't afford to with my maternity pay.

Anyway, my dad has now invited us to join them in June next year at another villa in Spain, but DH is reluctant.

It isn't an issue of money, as we would be able to afford it, it is that DH is worried about taking DS who will be 18 months old.

My argument is this

  • We would actually get to enjoy the holiday as we would essentially have 4 adults there to help entertain and look after DS
  • We have a villa so we can enjoy evenings on the terrace and not have to be shut away in a hotel room/caravan by 7pm for his bedtime
  • He will love playing in the sand and the sea and will be a lovely age to experience all of that

My DH's argument

  • He doesn't like the idea of taking him on a plane. Doesn't want to be 'that' family with the screaming baby that everyone glares at!
  • He thinks he wont relax as will be constantly running around after DS (this made me laugh as DH doesn't really do any childcare at home!)
  • It will be hot (we are going in June so don't expect it to be much hotter than this years summer!)

I admit the plane does worry me. DS is very active and probably wont want to sit still for 2 1/2 hours but I'm sure it would be ok. My other worry is villas tend to have stone floors and lots of steps etc. I think DS will be quite a late walker so worry about his risk of injury etc.

Have any of you travelled abroad with an 18 month old? What were your experiences? Are we mad to consider it or would it be a great idea?

Thank you!

OP posts:
whatsthatcomingoverthehill · 06/10/2014 13:07

We went to Majorca with a 21 month old this year. It was great. The plane was a bit of a pain, but it's not a long flight and there were plenty of other young kids on board so we didn't feel like the only ones. Just have plenty of toys and food etc.

So I say go for it.

Doodledot · 06/10/2014 13:09

Thousands of families fly to hot parts every day with under2s. It's not an issue unless you make it one

weebarra · 06/10/2014 13:11

I've been on holiday with both DSs at about that age and DD will be around that age when we go next year. We have a similar set up to you as we got with my parents and DSis and DBro are sometimes around too.
It works fine, not exactly relaxing, but any holiday with a toddler will be quite unlike previous holidays! Junes nice as not too hot and the flights are relatively short so not too bad. Lots if babies and toddlers on flights at that time of year!

WeeClype · 06/10/2014 13:11

I did a 9 hour flight with a 6 month old and 2 year old, it was totally fine.

I have been that mum tho with a screaming child on a plane it wouldn't stop me going on holiday.

Go and have a great time.

Heels99 · 06/10/2014 13:11

Go for it, but understand that all your dh's concerns are valid, it is more a change of scene than a holiday with little ones. Assuming though that the gps will help out with childcare.

On a separate note I wouldn't get into a situation where dh does no childcare at home, unless good reasons e.g he is deployed abroad, there are loads of threads about men who do no childcare, it will bite you in the bum eventually.

heartisaspade · 06/10/2014 13:12

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

angelos02 · 06/10/2014 13:13

I have been that mum tho with a screaming child on a plane it wouldn't stop me going on holiday
Well as you're alright Jack.

Chopstheduck · 06/10/2014 13:13

It will be fine. We took our dts at 9 months, 21 months and then 33 months. The 33 months was actually the worst, but not the flight! He may not want to sit, but pack a few new toys or stickers, or books and it's not too hard to keep them distracted for a couple of hours.

Notfootball · 06/10/2014 13:13

My two DC both went on a long haul flight twice each before they were two years old. You'll be fine. En route to Spain, there will be so many other people who can be "that family"; toddlers squawk will be in stereo and the flight is short.

Go to Spain and enjoy yourselves.

amy83firsttimer · 06/10/2014 13:14

Jesus, I went in a helicopter at about 3 months old! Kids are everywhere, just because you've had one doesn't mean you have to stay home for several years!

Enjoy a family holiday, your parents won't be around forever and he'll never be 18 months again.

cherrybombxo · 06/10/2014 13:15

My mum and dad took my to Spain when I was 18 months old and they said it was brilliant.

I say go for it. It's a fairly short flight too, I don't think it will be a problem.

Dinosaursdontgrowontrees · 06/10/2014 13:16

We took our 18 month old on a 10 hour flight to somewhere a lot hotter than Spain. It will be fine.
Assuming you are in the uk, Spain is a very short flight. Your dh is over thinking this in a big way.

littlehayleyc · 06/10/2014 13:16

my daughter was 15 months when we went to Rhodes for my SIL's wedding. We also have a son who was 4 at the time. The flight was a bit of a pain, but we took it in turns to walk up and down the isle with DD and I think she may have slept for a little bit. The fact we had 2 kids was probably what made it harder cos neither of us got a break! At least with one child you can take it in turns. I was still breastfeeding at the time, so that helped to get her to settle occasionally and also when we were taking off to stop her ears hurting. As far as evenings out and things were concerned, having the kids with us was a bit restrictive because of bedtimes, but that would be the same wherever you go. At least with family there you might be able to get them to babysit for a night or two. DD had been walking since about 11 months and we didn't have any issues with the stone floors and steps etc. We had a wonderful holiday and both children regularly talk about it now, even though it was 3 years ago. Obviously my DD probably doesn't remember a lot herself but because we've talked about it it's kept the memories alive for her. As far as people looking at you on the plane is concerned, I think there's only so much you can do. It's unreasonable to expect a child to sit quietly for hours on a plane (or anywhere else for that matter!) so don't let that put you off. As long as you have things to entertain him, and give him opportunities to move around, he'll be fine :)

Bramshott · 06/10/2014 13:16

What is DH proposing instead? A cottage in the UK? A 'stay-cation'? I get that holidays with little ones are very different but most people need some sort of holiday/break from the routine each year for their sanity especially when their DCs are small!

Novia · 06/10/2014 13:16

My daughter is 18 months old and half-Spanish. If we didn't travel frequently she wouldn't get to know her family. We've flown to Madrid 7-8x since she was born and it's fine. Just check timings work with his routine, pack plenty of food/toys and if you can - see if you there are any empty rows so baby can have his own seat. Now our daughter is 18 months we let her play, eat etc until ratty and then watch a baby programme on the iPad until we land. Airports are great places for toddlers - they can run for miles! It's really never as bad as you think and worth it for the holiday! The Spanish adore babies so you'll have built in babysitters, admirers everywhere you go!

scratchandsniff · 06/10/2014 13:17

We took 20mth DS to majorca this summer. Stayed with my family in a villa. It was absolutely fine. He loved it and we had plenty of extra hands to help. He wasn't keen on napping and took longer to get to bed but soon went back into a routine. They're all going again next summer, but by that point we'll have a 3mth old and I think that would be a struggle. Go it'll be fine.

mmgirish · 06/10/2014 13:19

You should definitely go on holiday. We live in SE Asia and regularly take our son on very long (and short) plane journeys to go on holidays. Your child will be fine, just bring plenty of small toys and books on the plane to entertain him. If you have a tablet, put some cartoons on there too.

I have a newborn son and a toddler and we went to a villa a few weeks ago for the weekend and it was perfect for children! Much better than a hotel!

HenriettaTurkey · 06/10/2014 13:19

We went to Malta with DS at 9 months, (DH, DM and me), then we went to 6 countries around Northern Europe when he was about 15 months, but that was with our own car, so no plane.

At 18 months we flew to Madrid, and took DS to Toledo too (again DH, DM and me).

Over his second birthday we went to Sicily and Italy (DM came with us but left part we through so the plane home was just DH, DS and me).

The plane journeys were fine. A couple of sticker books, a bottle of milk for take off and landing, and the understanding that people will share having DS on your laps throughout the flight and it's ok.

I'm assuming you're based in the UK, so travelling to Spain isn't exactly longhaul! If you're REALLY worried, then get him his own seat, as he may settle more easily, but I don't think that's necessary. Also you get to board first and can take your buggy to the gate, where it's then loaded as you get on board. It'd be slightly different if it was a red eye to the US or something, but people aren't going to be missing out on sleep etc, even if DS is unsettled.

Re: the villa - why not see if you can find child friendly ones, with a travel cot/high chair etc and make sure the pool isn't TOO accessible. It's not that complicated really...

We loved our visits abroad - and DS was loved by all who met him! Especially in Spain & Italy! We are now expecting DC2 and know that things may be more complicated from now on. My advice - travel while you can!

Katiepoes · 06/10/2014 13:21

Not all kids scream! Between holidays and trips home my daughter as been flying every six weeks or so since she was three months old, with flights anywhere between 1 and ten hours. She has cried - and note please CRIED not screamed - exactly twice.

Go to Spain!

UsuallyLurking1 · 06/10/2014 13:27

We did exactly the same when our first was 18 months, she was brilliant on the plane, temperature out there was fine, food was great (tried to cater for dd getting ham and cheese toasties but she just wanted to eat our tapas)

I might be wrong but I think it's almost to dds benefit going at 18 months, gets that first flight out of the way before she hits the 'terrible 2s. Take plenty of little toys baby hasnt seem before and the time on the plane flies by (pun intended.....)

magentastardust · 06/10/2014 13:28

Honestly you will be fine.

Just tell DH you won't be 'that family' if he plans well and takes plenty of snacks and stickers and bits and bobs for your ds and entertains him during the flight!

The plane can be a bit of a pain at that age if they are very active but it isn't a long flight and your ds will enjoy the beach and the pool and just being with you on holiday plus as you say you will have other adults with you too so you and DH will get some time together too.

Yes it won't be relaxing like holiday's of old but what are you going to do stay at home until he is 15? It is just a different experience but will still be enjoyable.

If the worst comes to worst and you are that family -then so what? We have all been there ,other people will be sympathetic and will have been in the same position as you at some point -I would rather be sitting near an upset baby than swearing lairy adult! Just remember you probably won't see any of your other passengers again so just do your best and grin and bear it for a couple of hours.

Pugaboo · 06/10/2014 13:28

I would do it, it won't be the same as your usual pre DC hols but it would still be nice.

There are loads of companies that specialise in villas suitable for toddlers, like Tots to Travel - could you persuade your Dad to look at those? They have gated off pools, stair gates etc provided so makes it all a bit easier.

micah · 06/10/2014 13:37

Ok- slightly o/t but you have two comments that clash..

You say there will be 4 adults to help "entertain and look after" DS.

Then you laugh at DH's worry that he will be constantly running after DS, because he doesn't do it at home.

Have you stayed with your dad and step mum before? Do they help look after DS?

It may sound good in theory, but it could well end up you doing all the running around, while they swan around doing their normal stuff. You end up resentful that they're having a nice time, while you aren't having a break from your daily grind.

I once gave in to a family request that we all went away. 7 Adults, and DC was weeks old. They were off shopping and eating out with no thought that I had a young baby in tow. I broke down in the end saying I came because I thought I might get some help and a break.

They all f*ucked off to the pub while I got over my hormonal issues and stopped taking it out on everyone. They really couldn't see how much I was doing and how hard it was...

specialsubject · 06/10/2014 13:41

go to Spain. It will be hot. Your child is not that fragile and if supervised will be fine; book somewhere without a pool.

but get your husband to parent rather than 'help' EVERY DAY.

pearpotter · 06/10/2014 13:41

We went away to Spain with DD1 at exactly that age and it was great. ILs helped look after/entertain her and we even got an evening out without her. The flight wasn't too bad - only a couple of hours to get through.

Much easier than going away in the UK on our own, in fact.