To take an 18 month old to Spain on Holiday?

[BadFam1]

Me and DH having a bit of a debate at the moment.

My Dad and Stepmum for a couple of years before we had DS rented a villa somewhere in Europe and invited both DH and me, and my stepbrother out to stay with them. We all went to Cyprus in 2012 and myself and DH went to Spain with them last year when I was about 6.5 months pregnant. They always pay for the villa so we just buy flights and treat them to dinner etc a few times during the holiday.

We always have a lovely time, and get along great during the holiday.

We didn't go away this year as DS was very little and tbh we couldn't afford to with my maternity pay.

Anyway, my dad has now invited us to join them in June next year at another villa in Spain, but DH is reluctant.

It isn't an issue of money, as we would be able to afford it, it is that DH is worried about taking DS who will be 18 months old.

My argument is this

• We would actually get to enjoy the holiday as we would essentially have 4 adults there to help entertain and look after DS
• We have a villa so we can enjoy evenings on the terrace and not have to be shut away in a hotel room/caravan by 7pm for his bedtime
• He will love playing in the sand and the sea and will be a lovely age to experience all of that

My DH's argument

• He doesn't like the idea of taking him on a plane. Doesn't want to be 'that' family with the screaming baby that everyone glares at!
• He thinks he wont relax as will be constantly running around after DS (this made me laugh as DH doesn't really do any childcare at home!)
• It will be hot (we are going in June so don't expect it to be much hotter than this years summer!)

I admit the plane does worry me. DS is very active and probably wont want to sit still for 2 1/2 hours but I'm sure it would be ok. My other worry is villas tend to have stone floors and lots of steps etc. I think DS will be quite a late walker so worry about his risk of injury etc.

Have any of you travelled abroad with an 18 month old? What were your experiences? Are we mad to consider it or would it be a great idea?

Thank you!

Thank you all for the support.

I am definitely hoping I can convince him!

In answer to some of the questions.

My dad has sent me through some villa suggestions and they all have cots/high chairs etc which would be a help. A few I have said would be no good as think the pool is too open/its on a cliff/ lots of stone steps etc, but there are two which I think would be ok. All are less than an hour from the airport as well so no long car journeys.

Yes DH is suggesting a staycation. I work within tourism so could get us a deal in a holiday park. Personally I think this would be better when DS is older and could actually appreciate it, plus he is talking about Devon which is a 6 hour car journey for us! 2.5 hours on a plane feels like heaven to me in comparison to a moaning DS in the car who hates every time the sun is in his face :)

YABU - why would you take a 18 month on holiday - madness, obviously that's why no one else would even consider it and you never see 18 months abroad and on planes.

DH's uncle has a house in Tuscany. We brought DD last year when she was 11 months old and again this year when she was 23 months old. It was fabulous. She had huge naps during the day where I read and relaxed and then went to bed about 9 and we sat on the terrace which was just outside our bedroom having a great time.

Also everyone almost without exception was lovely to the kids when we have been to Spain. You feel welcome everywhere not "OMG they have a baby who may inconvenience me." Makes you feel more relaxed.

Def go, by 18 months we had already done many many flights and travel including long haul and a 2 month long trip ( with ds1 19 months and ds2 8 weeks)

An 18 month isn't really a baby needed 24/7 care though is it? I mean of course you watch but they can easily dig in sand/ play with toys alone half of the time whilst you relax watching them. They can feed themselves, walk, and some toilet trained. They also understand enough that you can show and explain before you go ie books about beach/ aeroplanes etc

There's also 4 adults and one child.. Grandparents can take him places/ watch by pool sometimes so you get a break.

bambini

Your DH is being a twat. Just tell him you and DD are going and he can join you if he wants to. Job done.

micah - Yes my Dad and step mum adore DS and would absolutely help and play with him etc. I see my Dad regularly and he sees my struggle and stress with a child under 1 and being back at work - It is him that is pushing for us to come so I can have a break.

DH isn't completely useless :) he will absolutely help entertain him etc, he just doesn't really help with the day to day care in terms of getting him ready for the day, feeding and the bedtime routine. He works long hours and seems to have the brain of a sieve, so as soon as he 'gets' what he needs to do, DS's routine changes!

We took our, then, 20mo dd to Crete in June.

She absolutely loved it. Same as you we had a villa and it was perfect, put her to bed and chilled out on the terrace in the evenings. Morning at the beach (didn't need much entertaining just had to watch she didn't run off into the sea too much) back home for lunch and nap then afternoon by the pool.

We went out to eat a few times and the attitude to children is totally different. We also had my DM and DF with us to help out.

We booked flights that generally coincided with her nap time/ evening flight. She did have a 5 min meltdown on the plane then fell asleep for the entire flight both there and back. Those 5 mins of embarrassment were not worth not doing the holiday for.

Dd got so much out of it and still chats about her holiday 4 months on!

Surely 'that family' on planes only applies to long haul - I fly a lot and inside Europe I don't mind how many babies/toddlers are on the plane. It's only a short time, nobody's expecting to get a solid amount of sleep or do anything much except read a book or watch a film or something?

Children grow up in spain all the time, so I think the safety concerns, barrings things you've thought of already, aren't a big deal either.

It'll be NICE to be warm. Your DH is sounding a bit weird to me, TBH. Why not go without him, if he doesn't share parenting anyway then you might find it much of a muchness!

ChippingInLatteLover

Go with the parents and leave your husband at home with a long list of "things that need doing".

Did it with a 5 month old and a 2.5 year old last summer, no problems at all...

The plane was full of families, so believe me, there were plenty of children being louder than our two! I was more worried when we took DS to Kiev in Ukraine in December two years ago, as we had pretty much the only child on the plane (he was 21 months at the time, and I was 5 months pg with DD), but even that was fine...

when DS1 was 18 months we went to Australia via Bangkok and Bali for 6 weeks in a camper van, came home via Hong Kong so Spain would be a doddle, go for it.

We've holidayed every year with DD since she was born, plus regular trips to family abroad. She is a dream on flights, but it a lot of it is in het hep regroup. Take lots of little toys he hasn't seen before, the ipad loaded with new peppa episodes and some games, finger food, anything to keep him busy basically. Life is as hard you a make it...

Oh, and DH had to be talked into getting on a plane with DS, I only managed it when I took advantage of my hormonal pg state and told him how much I was missing my sister, and he thought I might try if he didn't give in to me!

I much prefer flying with kids to long drives to Devon, Cornwall, Scotland etc... I did want to go to Italy next week, but we are off to Devon... ho hum, at least we are bringing PiL who are fab!

You / he are making this into an issue when it really needn't be. People fly far more than 2.5 hours with young children! Yes it takes a bit of creative thinking and planning ahead with how to entertain them, but it's hardly impossible. And at that time of year, there will most likely be others with children on the flight so you won't be alone.

And no, no holiday with children is ever as relaxing as they were before kids. But nor is being at home with them either! And as you say, you have two extra pairs if hands to help out.

Otherwise what will you do - never go away anywhere for the foreseeable future?!

Go anyway, he can choose not to come but why would you miss out on a holiday? Bon voyage.

it won't be a holiday. You will just be somewhere else with your toddler! Somewhere where his usual routine is out of sync and you don't have your normal things to hand.

Just warning you!!! Don't expect to actually have a holiday ha, but if you're prepared for that, it's a nice change of scenary

Sounds to me like he doesn't want the hassle of being with his son 24/7 for a while.

Leave the miserable git at home.

Countries my 3 year old has been to:

UK
France
UAE
Indonesia
Malaysia
Thailand
Vietnam
Philippines
Australia
New Zealand

She and we (and older DC) have loved every holiday. I don't get the issue at all.