Is it ok for my dog to mean more to me that my partner of 10 months?!

[Bellalongstone]

Might sound like a silly question, but I am a 55 year old woman with three fabulous grown up kids. Two have left home but my 23 year old lad who is on the autisitc spectrum still lives with me. I have been seeing this partner for 10 months-he never had children and has elderly parents who depend on him a great deal. Infact, he sold his house as he wanted them to move in with him so he could keep an eye on them but they have changed their minds so he has bought a decent motorhome to live in. Whilst it was initially quite fun "camping", he never seems to want to stay at my (lovely, clean, warm, comfortable Victorian villa) house overnight, meaning I go to him but he will not allow my springer spaniel who is very dear to me come into the motorhome. If my son is out all night, I will not leave the dog alone so on Saturday night, I took her with me to the campsite and made a bed up for her in the car. I woke up at 2am feeling very guilty as I sensed the temperature outside has plummeted (was only 3 degrees) so I told him I was going and took the dog home for the rest of the night. He has been openly sulking since and very textually cold.

presumably the dog has been in your life longer?

absolutely not unreasonably, he sounds like a PITA

I couldn't be bothered with that. I'd stick with the dog.

Why he does not want to come to your house would bother me

dog sounds much more loveable

Dump the partner and keep the dog. If he's like this now, I can see him asking you to get ride of the dog if the relationship becomes more serious. The dog will always love you and hasn't done anything to deserve this. I would also doubt the selling the house to help parents story. Sounds more like he couldn't keep the house. Who would sell a house then buy a motor home?

My sympathy is for the poor dog being made to sleep in the car

YANBU!

My sympathy is for the poor dog being made to sleep in the car

YANBU!

ditch the bloke, love the doggie

I guess it's his prerogative not to want the dog in his motor home but personally I'd not leave my dog (and secretly think he was precious for not wanting the dog in there).

YANBU. Dogs are better than most people

Yanbu, he sounds too much of hard work. Love dogs

I wouldn't have anyones dog in my caravan/motorhome either.

Glad you went and got your dog out of the car.
Would he sleep in his bed on the floor of the camper van?
I would prefer the dog on my bed though than this man tbh

Ditch him for being a sulker. Down with sulkers!

Then I'd ditch him for not liking dogs and for being weird about staying in your house. And then I'd ditch him again as you sound lovely and he doesn't.

Is his issue with staying at your house the fact that you have the dog ? Anyway ,irrespective he sounds like too much hard work and there is no way I'd put a new partner before my dog .

Dump him. He sounds an arse.

My dh dislikes dogs. My dog hates my dh and bites him frequently. Even with all that dh let's the dog sleep on our bed. My dh is a good bloke.

Well I wouldn't allow a dog in my house but I wouldn't have let one sleep in the car and then sulk when my partner took it home either.

You have an animal that is dear to you and it isn't compatible with your relationship with him. You probably know what to do as this will keep cropping up if he's obviously not going to compromise.

Why does my ipad put an apostrophe in let's? I didn't think there was one. Is there?

I'm right and my ipad is an illiterate fool.

Relationships don't work if one is an animal loved and the other isn't.

I am animal mad and if someone tells me 'I don't like animals' I find it hard to even be friends with them let alone be in a relationship with someone.

My dog is counted as a family member - I don't leave him overnight on his own either and he goes to a dog sitters house if we ever can't take him anywhere.

I have always had a horse as well and have always said to any DP (there haven't been that many!) that if you ask me to choose between you - you will go without question as I have found men like the idea of a horsey woman until they realise how much time and money they take up and they start to begrudge.

Drop him and find someone who wants to do lovely walks with you and your pooch.

only as a contraction of "let us" - e.g. "let's go"

If he dislikes dogs and isnt fond enough of you to put up with him for your sake there is no future together.
Your responsibility is to the dog.

What you want to do and what you want to feel is ENTIRELY up to you.

If he doesn't inspire love and affection in you by his actions - then you aren't going to feel it, are you?

You don't sound overly enamoured of him and on the snapshot you've given I can see why. It's enough, you know, to simply say 'Your lifestyle and mine don't match up very well. I'll meet you in the middle, but I certainly won't compromise what's important to me to accommodate you beyond reasonable adjustment.'

Why won't he come to your house? Is it because he doesn;tlike your dog, or some other weird reason. Given the choice I'd far be in a house than a motor home, and presumably you can put the dog in another room or something if he is there. So I am assuming weirdness on his part.

Let's face it his elderly parents didn't want him moving in with them, I'd take that as a massive red light that he's bloody hard work.

By sulking, he's trying to emotionally blackmail you into choosing between him and the dog.

Choose the dog.

Yanbu. Love me love my dog.

Why wont he let the dog in and why wont he stay at yours?

All very odd, life's too short, dump his butt.