*Possible Trigger* AIBU to think that is rape affected men more than women...

[puds11isNAUGHTYnotNAICE]

AIBU to think that if men where in the higher percentage of rape victims, the laws, prosecution and prevention tactics for rape would be a lot different?

*if, not is

I do think it's "common knowledge" men are sexually harrassed/abused more than statistics say but I don't believe it is more than women.

Is this what you mean?

I thought the OP meant that if rape affected men at the same level as it affected women, then they'd do something about it.

Yabu to try make a sexist issue out of this.

Yanbu, I Lso think sentences would be more forth coming and they would be longer.

Also there would be none of the;

What were you wearing?
How much had you drunk?
Did you fight back ?
Bullshit

"Yabu to try make a sexist issue out of this."

Why, it is a valid question. Surely rape and they way it is dealt with - is a sexist issue.

2mins victims of sexual assaults are no longer asked questions in that manner. Questions relating to alcohol are asked in order to establish impairment/consent and clothing for identification purposes.

why is this a trigger

what is the trigger apart from the word 'rape'?

Of course questions like that are still asked! If not by the police, then by friends, family...

I think the issue is that the crime of rape is often seen as exclusively affecting women rather than women being the victims in the majority of cases. I've helped to treat a lot of male victims of rape and the impact of the crime is no less on them than it is on their female counterparts.
Attitudes to rape get hung up on the sex part of the attack, bringing with it all the immature nonsense that our society harbours towards sex and this often, for some people obscures the fact that its a violent attack.
To answer your question OP, I've found that discussing how anyone with a orifice is vulnerable to rape has helped to bring empathy into the equation and changed some of the less enlightened attitudes I've come across.

It's impossible to answer this really. Vulnerability to rape and abuse is what makes us the "weaker" sex, and therefore less deserving of respect and basic human rights in some people's eyes. You can't really separate the two IMO.

Nicknacky, I wish I lived in the same universe as you.

YANBU, OP.

See also childbirth, periods, childcare, housework and other forms of female labour.

No, I agree with you, OP.

Oh, and I used to work for a charity supporting victims of rape and although the police etc aren't supposed to ask those sorts of questions any more... You can bet they still do. And worse.

I'm a police CID officer specially trained in interviewing victims of sexual assault, so I can safely say that victim blaming like that is not part of the investigation. So yep, I'm from this universe.

Friends/family I cant obviously speak of.

YANBU

and sadly they are still asked those questions

we only need to read reports in the media to see how women are so often questioned what their behaviour was to warrant such actions taken by their attacker

I think men report a lot less tbh, that doesn't mean it hasn't happened.

I remember being out with my dp a while ago, he bent down to tie his shoelaces and a drunk woman grabbed his balls from behind and squeezed them. It didn't even occur to him to report it as wouldn't be taken seriously, I feel a woman would be listened to a lot more whereas a guy is expected to laugh it off.

That's just one incident BTW, over the years he's had his bum grabbed, kissed on the cheek and groped many times, usually by groups of rowdy saddos 'having a larf' God knows why, he looks like Shrek he also has young, male colleagues who are routinely letched at by older women. Again, its seen as 'a bit of fun'.

I think if all men suddenly started reporting incidents where they've been hassled sexually we'd all get a bit of a shock.

YANBU.

Nicknacky, I don't care if you are Sir Bernard Hogan-Howe in disguise, that's what a lot of women say happens to them when they report sexual assault. You might behave well, but you can't swear to your colleagues' behaviour.

Triooo "I remember being out with my dp a while ago, he bent down to tie his shoelaces and a drunk woman grabbed his balls from behind and squeezed them. It didn't even occur to him to report it as wouldn't be taken seriously, I feel a woman would be listened to a lot more whereas a guy is expected to laugh it off."

I don't think women usually report a lot of this stuff either. I've been groped more times that I can remember and have never reported it. Many women never report their rapes, I'm sure the majority of sexual assaults like groping goes unreported too.

Maybe not Bamb but if a woman made a fuss and alerted security or whatever because her vagina had been squeezed it would be taken far more seriously and quite rightly too.

Pretty much every weekend I have alerts come through via the fb group that police are looking for men who have assaulted a woman in similar ways as described above, through groping or unwanted attention in other ways. I've never seen any looking for women who have assaulted men, that doesn't mean it hasn't happened, they just wouldn't come forward.

Most of my male friends have received unwanted attention from men AND women, none would report it and DPs just commented women are actually more blatent as they expect to be laughed / cackled off.

I was wondering if the help for victims and the lines of questioning/punishment of the offender would be different in a world where men where the primary victims of rape.

I think another interesting question is whether the way rape is dealt with would be different if the vast majority of perpetrators weren't male.

As you say the effect is mostly on women but there are male survivors. Depending on how you define rape, either all the perpetrators are male or all but a few. I think this skews the way it is dealt with as well.

trio summed up what I was thinking perfectly.

Men are the primary victims of violent assult (excluding rape) and many of them are questioned about how much is their fault for being in the wrong place, wearing the wrong football shirt or drinking too much.