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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

To feel sorry for this boy and silently judge his parent?

53 replies

RachelWatts · 05/10/2014 20:14

Little boy aged about 6 or 7, desperately wanted to play a particular game on the WII. His dad wouldn't let him because the main character in the game was a princess so it was therefore a girl's game.

His dad gave him a proper telling off about it.

OP posts:

baskingseals · 05/10/2014 20:29

That's bad.

differentkindofpenguin · 05/10/2014 20:34

No way! That's terrible!

differentkindofpenguin · 05/10/2014 20:34

No way! That's terrible!

SixImpossible · 05/10/2014 20:36

YANBU. That is sad.

Both my boys have thoroughly enjoined the Disney Princesses game on the Wii - one of them even modified the princess avatar to mmake her look as much like him as possible. I can't see that it's done him any harm.

Mind you, I also think it's a bit sad that two of the games we have only come with female avatars.

Pico2 · 05/10/2014 20:38

That's sad.

We have a friend who won't let his 4 yo play with DD's doll and pram. I have come very close to asking the parents not to repeat the "no, those are girls toys" thing in front of my DD. If they say it again, I think I might have to as we are working with DD to minimise that sort of prejudice. I am fairly certain that the dad did push his DS in his pram when he was a baby, so it is also a really inaccurate stereotype.

gentlehoney · 05/10/2014 20:40

I think it is a bit daft too, but the father's view is not unusual.

hormonalandneedingcheese · 05/10/2014 20:47

YANBU OP. He sounds like a delight.

ilovechristmas1 · 05/10/2014 20:48

when mine were younger,all boys i bought them an ironing board,mini washing machine etc

the boys dad would of had a blue fit with me then

lilacmamacat · 05/10/2014 20:51

Yep, I'm really anti all this sexual stereotyping crap. It really makes me want to shout at people.

Aherdofmims · 05/10/2014 21:01

I find this v sad too. I don't understand it at all, and am glad my dh for all his faults has none of these hang ups. He was the one who insisted baby ds would wear the pink all in one coat last year!

Was thinking today about my great grandfather was a pantomime dame but also had three wives (not advocating this but goes against stereotype!) and had been a fighter pilot.... But according to some this would be incompatible with a boy wanting to wear a dress.

ChunkyPickle · 05/10/2014 21:04

Mind you, I also think it's a bit sad that two of the games we have only come with female avatars.

Far more games come with only male avatars, and yet women have coped..

Yes, it's sad, and very wrong. DS1 wouldn't care at all, he's 4 and still pretty much oblivious to gender - if pressed he thinks it might be to do with hair length (but even that's tricky because he has friends with all lengths of hair). I don't know how he's avoided getting sucked into it at playgroup and school, but long may it continue

cherrybombxo · 05/10/2014 21:17

My brother had a toy kitchen and a toy hoover when he was little, he loved them! I had toy cars. We've both grown up (relatively ) normal.

lacksdirection · 05/10/2014 23:44

I know a couple who won't allow their son to play with 'girls' toys. If he goes to push a toy pushchair, they immediately take it away and give him a 'boys' toy to play with instead, such as a toy hammer or a toy car.
They are very open about this and ask other adults not to allow their son to play with 'girls' toys because they don't like it.
I have lost respect for them as parents since I discovered this.

It gives me the rage and I try to avoid them now.

StillSquirrelling · 05/10/2014 23:58

My DS (almost 3) loves playing with 'girls' toys. He and DD2 love nothing better than getting the pushchairs out and racing their 'babies' around the dining table. He's even moved the doll's bed upstairs, next to his, so that he can tuck his baby in when they both go to bed. He loves a tutu and sparkly princess shoes too
I'm getting DS a little wooden washing machine for Christmas too! He loves to play cooking and keeping house so he's going to love it. He does also love to play with trains, diggers, hammers etc. and nursery have told us he's the most 'boyish' boy they've ever had (in terms of behaviour - rough and tumble play, not keeping still for very long, VERY mechanically minded).

I did have a bit of a barney with DH in Disneyland Paris earlier in the year. We'd said to the kids that they could all choose something from the main shop on our last day there and DS was desperate to have a spin-around, light-up princess thing (was a relatively cheap trinket). DH kept putting it down and showing him all the Planes/Cars/Monsters Inc. toys but DS just wanted this princess thing. DH refused to buy it for him (although he's not usually bothered by DS playing with 'girly' toys). I said he was being horribly unfair, as DS had so got his heart set on it. In the end DH found a similar toy that was Buzz Lightyear instead, and DS seemed mollified by it but I was still seething about it.

AnnieLobeseder · 06/10/2014 00:08

It's just so cruel of parents to project their own sexist prejudices onto children, and then leave their child, who doesn't understand about gender, let alone stereotypes, feeling bewildered and confused as so what they did wrong when they play with "toys for the other gender". It must make them feel there's something wrong with them, they they like these things that they aren't supposed to. Not to mention how it gives boys the very clear message that girls are inferior. It gives me the rage, and I don't let anyone do it around my DDs (along with discussing negative body image).

Not letting boys play with dolls and prams is one of the worst offenders for me - are they worried their child might grow up to be a father or something?

ArsenicFaceCream · 06/10/2014 00:11

People let 6 and 7 year olds play console games?

DrCoconut · 06/10/2014 00:11

Reminds me of an occasion when DS1 was a toddler. I was in toys r us without DS buying him a toy iron. A man started really telling me off for buying stereotyped toys and what kind of message wa that sending to my daughter etc. When I got a word in edgeways to tell him it was for my son his face was priceless. He didn't say anything else, possibly due to being unable to think of something suitable!

Original poster

RachelWatts · 06/10/2014 07:55

Arsenic, yes they do. Many games for the WII are particularly attractive to that age group, with cartoony characters and simple games.

OP posts:

TheScreamingfrog · 06/10/2014 08:25

My 4 yr old dd has just started informing me that various things are girls or boys toys. Not sure where she has got that from as I certainly haven't told her.

captainmummy · 06/10/2014 08:28

But... wasn't Lara Stone female? At the time the only choice was Tomb Raider or Mario. And which teenage boy would rather play with a plumber?

But - 6yo? dunno.

moxon · 06/10/2014 08:30

I hate gender stereotyping.

forago · 06/10/2014 08:31

what a dick!

A father once asked me at one of my children's parties why there was a dolls house (wooden, brown, red door) in the playroom when I only had boys.

Poor boy - I'd have judged openly.

Asteria · 06/10/2014 08:38

That is so bloody mean! I get very upset about narrow minded parents projecting their wankerish ideals onto their children. DSS gets bullied by his stepfather about bringing his teddy to our house for the weekend - WHO calls a 6 year old a sissy for wanting to take a teddy to his father's house?

SqueezyCheeseWeasel · 06/10/2014 08:39

Lara CROFT

ChubbyKitty · 06/10/2014 08:39

Yanbu, I work in the children's clothing department and I see this a lot.

Apparently little girls shouldn't want Spider-man trainers better than stupid peppa stupid pig

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