AIBU to not have this argument with dd (13)

[18yearstooold]

Dd is refusing to do her homework

She's not hiding the fact she has any, but point blank refusing to do it as 'it serves no purpose and is therefore pointless'

I've cajoled, I've turned the Internet off, I've offered help (she doesn't need it) I've warned she will get in trouble at school and at home

I cannot put the pen in her hand and make her write

AIBU to just let her get in trouble?

She's right, most Y9 HW, except possibly maths (English if you need practice, DD1 did, DD2 doesn't) and the MFL you're going to study at GCSE serves very little purpose.

Detention serves no purpose except making DCs think their teachers are a pain in the backside.

However, it's a farce we are all sentenced to live with.

My dd was big into languages and drama and wasn't really being stretched at school aged 11-14 (year 11 she actually did find a bit harder, think because everyone else decided to try that bit harder too so she wasn't always top of the pack), she was at a selective grammar but no GCSEs allowed before Yr10. She did LAMDA exams with a drama club (small group of 5 kids two hours after school working on poetry, public speaking etc) and studied Spanish at a languages school in the city although didn't actually take any formal qualifications in it. Not to make her sound like a total over achiever, she was and is a total typical teen strops and all but we had the 'I hate school' and not wanting to work hard thing and this helped because we found she was sort of doing well grades wise but coasting with very little praise or interest from some of her teachers, one even told her to stop putting her hand up so others could have a chance. She said she wanted to move school etc, I think she actually felt a bit like the teachers themselves thought she was a bit of a swot.
A bit of a rocky time in yr9 with her as she stopped trying a little bit, but having something to focus on really helped.

18 is it worth going to talk to the other school? If you explain the situation they might be able to find some additional funding for her? Academically gifted children are a bonus to a school surely?

What subject is she good at (or is it all?). In English, with a year 8 student doing level 8 work and still finding it easy, I would give homework unconnected with classwork. It may be a project. For example, I may find an anthology of poems no longer studied at GCSE and give them to her with questions or creative transformations associated with particular poems. Could you ask your DD's teachers to do similar?

Tigers she's on the G&T list for every subject

September birthday so in yr 8 -I've got 2 more years before she sees any significance

The nearest FE college is 10 miles away so not really an option

Parents evening is next week so ill see what they say and if I get no joy ill speak to the G&T coordinator

you are definitely not being unreasonable!! let her face the consequences of her opinion and see how far it gets her at school tomorrow.

i still think i would have a pre-emptive word with the school
if they don't say much or "let her off" doing her homework because she is on top of her work anyway and usually does it, that isn't going to help the situation.
They must have a policy when this happens - it isn't unusual for bright girls to start behaving like this and really needs to be tackled. She is probably bored and just can't be bothered. You need to find some enrichment activities for her - something she can get her teeth into. Does she do much outside her academics?

sorry i just saw that she did it. do bring it up in parents evening.

What about distance learning if FE too far away. Had a google, what about something like going a GCSE with oxford home schooling www.oxfordhomeschooling.co.uk. If school isn't comfortable going a subject she is covering at school she could so something like law or psychology

Tess

Out of school she plays rugby and is in a band playing guitar and bass so she's quite an active life out of school