I am so fucking sick of all these benefit threads. It's coming from all angles at the moment, the news, the papers, radio, fb, MN. I'm beginning to feel really uneasy. Why is there such a sudden huge spotlight aimed at benefit claimants. I'm with gamerchick, it feels like something awful is about to happen and the gvt are testing popular opinion.
You know behind the debates, the opinions, the ranting about how much we should get, where we should be able to spend it, what we should be able to spend it on etc there are actual people. Oh, didn't you know that? Yes, we are real people, not caricatures that the media have created. In my house this morning us real people are sat in silence as the last of the emergency credit has gone on the elec meter. This obv also meant breakfast ideas were limited, coupled with the fact that I haven't been able to go shopping for a week as DCs have been ill, breakfast was rather a struggle. Half a bread roll cut into "slices" and a bowl of jelly was what the kids had for breakfast, there is literally nothing else. I have £20 in the bank. £10 for the elec meter, £10 for food.
Now I do ok over all. But the way benefits are paid is different to a wage that all comes in together in a nice lump sum. At the end of the month my pathetic amount of maintenance and the housing benefit come through and that covers rent and my direct debits. And then for the next two and a half weeks I only have the fortnightly income support payment to live on. Towards the end of the month the tax credits come in and that covers my other bills with a wee bit left over to tide me over until the next IS payment. It's hard. It means I spend half the month trying to make money stretch itself beyond the realms of possibility and the other half doing ok.
It's hard, it's not very nice, no one choses to live like this. And yet all I'm reading ATM is thread after thread after thread passing judgement on my situation, debating whether I should have a bit less money, be a bit more grateful. I feel like a bug under a microscope. I didn't chose is life. And I'm sorry that my existence and that of my children is such a burden on the conscience of so many that it must be scrutinised like this. However I'm just a person, a mum like so many of you, trying to get by and do the best for my children and hoping against all other hope that I can get off benefits as soon as possible. Because this is beginning to affect me personally. I feel judged, I feel disliked and I feel judged some more.