AIBU to be a bit upset that my work dept let me start Mat Leave without even a goodbye card?

[BloomingOrBallooning]

I've worked in the same office of approx 30 people for the last 7 years. Everyone who leaves normally gets a card and a little goodluck speech at the morning meeting, but besides mentioning that it was my last day, i've had nothing, not even an email from my manager. Even when I walked round the office to say goodbye only half the people turned round from their desks to talk.

Am i just being hormonal and silly?

I wish i hadn't bothered taking in any chocolates now!

Yanbu BUT i work in the nhs and for one of my colleagues we did nothing when she left. However she gave birth to a baby girl safely and we all gave one gift for a hamper for her. She was organised before she left but she wouldn't be aware until she had the baby. The person organising it thought best after. I agree. I only time i bought ahead....a cute jellycat blue musical elephant the baby died just prior to birth. I now refuse point point to buy anything prior to birth. When you have you lovely baby i expect you might have loads of pressies from work..... :-)

I've had both experiences, one place did a wee cake and buns during our tea break on my last day, another didn't do anything. Just said bye or not as usual. There was no gift/cards/flowers when I went off for either. I got some lovely presents after the baby was born and when we came in for a visit.

Most places I know wait until after the baby's born to do anything, although you would get a "good luck", "hope all goes well" if they remembered it was your last day.

Whether YABU or not depends on what normally happens at your work when people go on mat leave.

I think it's more normal to get a card and gift when the baby is born. That's what always happens at my work. There is no reason to get you a leaving card because you're not leaving.

Was there one person who always organised the flowers, cards, present and has that one just left?

Was it indeed you?

2Bemused That is nasty. When someone goes on mat leave - even if she is not popular - her colleagues should make the effort.

We don't do anything when some one goes on maternity leave. When the baby is born and person brings them in they get a card and a pressie. It's considered really bad lunch here to give a present before the birth.

Purplepoodle Bad lunch?

I prefer a gift to go immediately the baby is born - not when the bundle of joy is brought in, because that leaves the mother, and father if he comes too, with more to carry.

That's how it is done on my floor - where I am the one who organises it, and that's why I asked the question I did earlier.

My old office used to have a collection for presents, a card and a toast and nice send off. Sometimes a team lunch too. They were lovely with my first, also got flowers after the birth and personal presents from manager.

Then I got a new job in a new company. Well, seeing as they've made me redundant at 6 months pregnant I didn't expect and get anything. But they were a bunch of weirdo fuckers anyway.

Have a lot of people gone off on long mat leaves and then not come back to work or come back pregnant? This might have engendered bad feeling in the department.

Oh, meant to say. I think it comes down to organisation culture as well as managers' people skills. Those that have none usually will be those who won't organise anything.

I worked for my previous employer for seven years and always contributed to every birthday, baby and wedding collection there was. I started mat leave unexpectedly as DS arrived early so no goodbye card or anything. However I didn't hear a thing from them after I had him not even a card. It was a very large, profitable company so I'm sure that they had an HR policy to send flowers but my team leader was too shit to organise it. He did however send me a text a week after the birth asking when my labour started as he was wondering if he should put the day before I gave birth down as sick or if I wanted to take it as a day's holiday!

See that sausage over there? That's what I didn't get both times I went on adoption leave.
The admin staff always get gifts and cards when they go on maternity leave, and although I did depart suddenly both times, the junior professional colleague whose baby was 8 weeks early got a nice gift. However, as I can't remember what happened with the other senior professional colleague who gave birth, so I don't feel on firm ground muttering.
But basically as the admin staff are mainly female, they organise gifts, but the professional staff are mainly male.
And nobody bothers to give you gifts if you adopt anyway.
But we have too much stuff so I try not to mind.

I Worked for over a decade at my last job and never even got a card.
So happy i resigned.

No card, no flowers, not even a see you later/safe delivery despite "mat leave" being written across of off duty. My workplace is 98% female.

That's really shitty OP.

I think you should wait and see what happens once your baby is born. Lots of people have already mentioned not wanting to give baby gifts until he/she has safely arrived.

I got a nice gift for me and a "good luck" card (but nothing baby-related) and a lunch but then I went on mat leave just before Christmas so we were having a nice lunch anyway. Then nice things arrived for dd once she was here. So you may be pleasantly surprised yet OP.

YANBU if someone is leaving for a year and having a whole new baby it's only courtesy to say goodbye and good luck and best wishes and keep in touch and let us know when they baby comes, it has been in all the offices I've worked at!

At all the offices I've worked people have generally made a bit of a fuss of women going on mat leave even if they're not interested (I never was!) because it's just obvious isn't it!

We don't do anything when someone goes on Mat leave, but that it partly as we once did a big farewell lunch, and she tragically had a stillbirth the next day, so we now very firmly are in the big present on the birth camp...

Yanbu. My work hold a tea and everyone brings cake and gives pressies for the baby. I went back to work from first mat leave pregnant so six months later they held a second baby shower for me - I was mortified as felt it was too much, but I guess it's a mainly femail environment and they are all nurses who adore children and babies. I think you have a right to be upset but sod them all- your life is going to get so exciting soon and you won't even think about them when you have your gorgeous bundle- congratulations!! X

Am I being overly sensitive? I'm on maternity leave until December, my employer is encouraging me to start some KIT days, but I won't get paid for them as such. Any pay I would get is off set by my SMP, so I'm not really seeing the benefits of doing the KIT days.

Also my employer didn't send a card or anything when I went on maternity leave or after my baby was born. Yet for my colleague who had a baby 12 months before me, we had a whip round and send her £100+ cash, flowers and a card! I feel a bit sad at the situation to be honest. Both myself and my colleague have worked in the same department (though different roles) for years. The only other difference was that I was off work with sick for a spell before I started my maternity leave.

Opinions please, TIA xx

They might get you a card a gift when baby is here. I never buy cards/ gifts until the baby is born, I'm superstitious like that. My ds was 10 weeks prem and I didn't open any cards or gifts until he was home. They should have at least made a fuss of you though on your last day, with cake etc .

Op maybe you get a card and present when baby is here. I certainly never gift anything baby wise till baby is here. My work didn't either and sent a lovely gift when my DD was born. Enjoy your mat leave x

Zombie thread!!!!

My baby is 6 months old now xx