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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

AIBU to be a bit upset that my work dept let me start Mat Leave without even a goodbye card?

74 replies

BloomingOrBallooning · 03/10/2014 15:57

I've worked in the same office of approx 30 people for the last 7 years. Everyone who leaves normally gets a card and a little goodluck speech at the morning meeting, but besides mentioning that it was my last day, i've had nothing, not even an email from my manager. Even when I walked round the office to say goodbye only half the people turned round from their desks to talk.

Am i just being hormonal and silly?

I wish i hadn't bothered taking in any chocolates now!

OP posts:
fatpony · 03/10/2014 17:09

This just happened to me - I finished last Friday! Just a few verbal good lucks. One of my NCT classmates was taken out to lunch, presents, flowers, card etc. I've worked for the company for ten years!

noblegiraffe · 03/10/2014 17:10

I didn't get anything before going on both my maternity leaves and didn't expect to. The event is the birth of the baby, not you going off a couple of weeks before. I got presents then.

Viviennemary · 03/10/2014 17:12

That's really mean of them. Most people would get at least a card and perhaps a gift too.

widdle · 03/10/2014 17:16

I got some lovely flowers from DH's workplace when DS was born - diddly squat from my own work Sad

Good luck OP!!

PrivatePike · 03/10/2014 17:21

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

addictedtosugar · 03/10/2014 17:21

Nope, YANBU.
I apparently only got a card when I went off on ML for DS2 because on of the girls in the team next door twigged my boss wasn't actually going to do anything. I got a card, and a couple of tubs of nibbles from M&S. Not bad for a lunchtime whip round and shop!
It really, really doesn't take much to organise these things, but it seems to be the same people each time who organise, and the same people who "forget"!

Enjoy your ML, and lovely new baby cuddles. Thanks

PrivatePike · 03/10/2014 17:22

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

LePetitPrince · 03/10/2014 17:26

For my first, I got taken out to lunch by senior mgt, a big card and a significant amount of vouchers. For baby 2, I got nothing.. I stood up and said to my team: "see you all in a year". They nearly died and couldn't believe the manager didn't mention my leaving date to them (they thought it was another day). I got a big bunch of flowers when the baby was born and I hope/suspect the manager paid!!

I was upset at the time but looking back, it was carelessness on behalf of the manager.

Enjoy your mat leave OP.

Zucker · 03/10/2014 17:31

It really, really doesn't take much to organise these things, but it seems to be the same people each time who organise, and the same people who "forget"!

To add to this it was always the people who conveniently forgot who would throw a hissy fit if anyone overlooked their important events where I last worked.

YANBU to expect people to acknowledge you're leaving for a period of time.

Has human communication devolved to such a level we really don't expect people to look around from their screens to say goodbye even?

treaclesoda · 03/10/2014 17:34

I've never worked anywhere that people going on maternity leave gets a card or anything (although usually people get a gift when the baby is born) but if that is the norm where you work then I don't blame you for being hurt.

Barbeasty · 03/10/2014 17:35

My office definitely did cards and presents on the last day before going on maternity leave. That's what happened for a colleague who went off a couple of months before me.

For DC 1 I got nothing- no card, no present, no verbal goodbye.

I got a bunch of flowers after the birth, but that's because the managers checklist of how to manage an employee's pregnancy has a final entry of "send flowers and say congratulations". They go on the company credit card.

My midwife was shocked. And it's the first thing she mentioned when I was pregnant with DC2 (2.5 years later!)

With DC2 (same team) I pointed out I hadn't even got a card first time. They got me a card and had a collection.

MaryWestmacott · 03/10/2014 17:47

YANBU - I would assume if they normally do a 'good bye' speech etc when someone leaves, they would do that for mat leave. Are you planning to take a long time off? I have worked places where anyone over a certain level is expected to take only 4months off, so not really that long to be gone, but if you were going for a year I'd expect at least a mention!

It's little things like this that make you less loyal to companies. I wouldn't put myself out for them.

ecuse · 03/10/2014 17:49

YABU unless people usually have a fuss of them when they go on maternity leave in your office, and you've been left out? Generally, I wouldn't expect a fuss for maternity leave - you're not resigning, you're just taking a leave of absence.

TheFallenMadonna · 03/10/2014 17:53

Presents come after baby is born, don't they? I may have been offending and upsetting people for some time now then. Mind you, not the first time I've realised that on MN...

DaisyFlowerChain · 03/10/2014 17:54

What usually happens for maternity leave?

We do a collection and card for the last day but not a lunch as that seems OTT as you're not leaving.

cheminotte · 03/10/2014 18:02

Yanbu - I think maternity leave should be treated as if you are leaving as many women don't go back even if they intend to.
I had leaving present and then flowers after birth for dc1. For dc2 , (different company) a low value gift card but no flowers or anything after birth. I was disappointed. That's why Hr depts write 'send flowers' into their policies and fund it as well.

quietbatperson · 03/10/2014 18:31

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

cookielove · 03/10/2014 18:41

Yanbu, they are crappy. My work colleagues who have celebrated everyone else's leaving regardless of the reason why they were leaving have done f-all for me. Really bloody hurts :(

naty1 · 03/10/2014 18:56

Is it male managers not bothering?

Why post a card and present when you can hand over. And avoid forgetting.

AlmaMartyr · 03/10/2014 19:15

YANBU, this happened to me too. A few people had gone on maternity leave, big fuss made. I left and no-one said anything. But then I got a lovely card (and present) signed by everyone when I had DD so that was really nice. I think that organising a goodbye was left up to individuals and obviously no-one really got round to it.

maddening · 03/10/2014 19:30

We all go out to lunch on their last week but the card and present is bought after the baby is born - maybe it is yet to come?

skylark2 · 03/10/2014 19:39

I agree - present comes after baby is born (possibly when you take baby into work to show him/her off), not at the start of maternity leave. I'd suspect the somewhat odd not turning round thing might be because there are plans being made for it and they were asked not to tell you about it.

I don't think you can expect to be treated as if you are leaving just because that's an option you will have in a few months.

whatever5 · 03/10/2014 19:40

YANBU to be upset. It sounds as though they didn't realise that you were leaving today. Hopefully they will buy something when you have your baby.

ireallydontlikemonday · 03/10/2014 19:41

At my work the assumption is that you will come back, card / present / flowers sent when baby turns up. Most do go out for a lunch but organise it themselves.

2Bemused · 03/10/2014 19:47

Perhaps you are not that popular?