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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To wonder why their kids keep crying at 4am!!

51 replies

PinkSnowAndStars · 02/10/2014 18:57

I live in a flat. Not ideal but heyho.

Don't hear anything during the day, but every single night the kids in another flat seem to scream between 1am - 3am then again at 4am! It's driving me and my DH utterly mad to the point we don't know what to do as we can't speak to the neighbour about it! Kids are 2.5 & 1.5 and it's been constant for the last 2 years!! We have a 34month old and we've never had this problem.

Just don't know how to keep ignoring it much longer!

I know iabu as they are only kids but AiBu to just want them to try and keep their kids quiet?

OP posts:
Vitalstatistix · 02/10/2014 18:59

night terrors. probably. I hope that's not something you ever have to go through because it is horrible.

What are your ideas for how they could keep their kids quiet? Not having a go, just interested. How do you think you can stop a toddler from screaming in the night?

ditavonteesed · 02/10/2014 18:59

dont expect they are overjoyed with the 4am screaming either. Could be any number of reasons, some kids just do that. Stick some earplugs in and smile that you dont have to deal with it. Sory no help but I dont think thee is anything you can do about this one.

Iggly · 02/10/2014 19:01

Some children just do this.

Why else!?

Original poster
PinkSnowAndStars · 02/10/2014 19:01

I genuinely don't know. But it's every single night and can last hours. It's been like this since the first one was born.

I know I'm being a bit unreasonable!

OP posts:
DearGirl · 02/10/2014 19:03

2 things

  • you have an almost 3 year old [you don't need to use months after they turn a year]

  • I am sure they don't particularly want their children awake and screaming at that hour - how do you propose they keep them quiet?

LaurieFairyCake · 02/10/2014 19:04

There's a reason but unless you hear the adults screaming at the kids then it's unlikely to be something dodgy.

They can't 'keep them quiet' - can you keep your kid quiet when it's having a scream ?

Put some earplugs in.

Lampy · 02/10/2014 19:05

34 month old?!

littleducks · 02/10/2014 19:06

I expect the older one has an issue, maybe night terrors and he/she wakes the younger one.

Must be horrid for you and their parents.

LauraChant · 02/10/2014 19:07

My DS was like this until he was about 2. Every single night. All he wanted was to be carried around while he slept which as you can imagine was tricky with a hefty one year old. I felt very badly for the neighbours and we lived in a semi detached,

Aeroflotgirl · 02/10/2014 19:08

My ds 2.7 is a night waker, not pleasant for us either, don't know really what to do. Tried no milk just water still no joy. I think hes' a sleep for wimps kind of boy.I am glad we live in a detached house.

Original poster
PinkSnowAndStars · 02/10/2014 19:08

I feel sorry for the parents I really do. But if I put ear plugs in then i wouldn't be able to hear my dc if it ever goes the other way. You can literally hear everything. It's like whichever child it is, is being left to cry.

OP posts:
Vitalstatistix · 02/10/2014 19:08

I know.
the neighbours kids are 1.5 and 2.5
so younger than 34 months.
interesting that they are in years though
Grin
we all do it with our own though, don't we?

I was such a pfb monster that it's a miracle I am not saying my eldest is 185 months old Grin

Vitalstatistix · 02/10/2014 19:10

Why do you assume that?

My eldest had simply terrible night terrors.

He would scream and scream and scream. I was right there and he was looking straight through me. He didn't recognise me and was actually frightened.

Holding him, comforting him, made him scream even more

It was heartbreaking.

PourquoiTuGachesTaVie · 02/10/2014 19:12

What do you actually want them to do though? I'm pretty sure they've probably noticed their kids screaming every night and they're not likely to be thrilled about it either.

Original poster
PinkSnowAndStars · 02/10/2014 19:12

Vital - it's new to me. Was it every single night? I know I'm lucky to not have experienced it first hand.

OP posts:
PillForgettingIdiot · 02/10/2014 19:14

Pretty sure the parents hate it just as much as you do.

They're trying their best. We all are. It is all we can do.

Earplugs are your friend here.

YoYoYooooo · 02/10/2014 19:15

There was a thread recently where someone was having a similar problem and the OP was really laid into very aggressively by a lot of posters. Apparently, it's completely unreasonable to find any child crying irritating Confused Hmm
I suspect you want get any sympathy here at all. Sad

If I were you I would mention it to your neighbours. I would be polite and friendly but I'd let them know as they might not realise how much the mouse is bothering you. It may be possible for them to move the kids around or it may make them be a little quicker to soothe their kids.

Stripylikeatiger · 02/10/2014 19:17

Yabu to want them to try and keep their kids quiet, I don't imagine they are encouraging the nightly wake ups, I'd be very surprised if they hadn't tried a variety of solutions.

Just be happy that it isn't your dc screaming every night, it must be awful to see your dc do upset.

Vitalstatistix · 02/10/2014 19:17

oh god yeah. It was horrible. I would sit and sob because I was utterly helpless.

My two have autism and my youngest has adhd also, and that caused a massive amount of screaming as well. Hours and hours and hours. Short of stapling their mouths shut, there was no way at all to stop it. None. They had disrupted sleep patterns and waking in the night could mean a massive meltdown.

While I am in no way attempting to diagnose anything, you should be aware that there are a number of reasons why a child can be screaming (I've given only 2 and there are many more) and parents just sitting there all night not giving a shit is the least likely of all possibilities.

That said, it doesn't mean that it isn't having an impact on you, just that you have to think about things you can do to minimise that, because really - you can't think of anything they could do so what makes you think they can?

wannabestressfree · 02/10/2014 19:20

I have a 204 month old with autism who still cries in the night and pads about. Drives us all batty but nothing we can do. Its part of who he is.

whataloadofoldshit · 02/10/2014 19:21

34 months? Really?

CalamitouslyWrong · 02/10/2014 19:21

Are we referring to our children's ages in months long after one now. Awesome. I'm mother to a 171 month old and a 61 month old then. Should I start giving my age in months --because then I'll sound ridiculously old at 407 months old).

Maybe we should start doing it in days. Or minutes. That would be fun.

Original poster
PinkSnowAndStars · 02/10/2014 19:24

Ive clearly cursed myself... I can hear one crying over the TV!

I just needed to vent a bit. I'm sure they are great kids but the constant crying is getting me down!

OP posts:
BertieBotts · 02/10/2014 19:26

Do you think they're waking them up on purpose just to annoy you? Confused

Or are you just making a thread to vent, because it seems baffling if you're actually expecting them to do something.

noisytoys · 02/10/2014 19:27

DD is v nearly 4 and she still wakes 2-4 times a night crying. She's autistic. She's unlikely to grow out of the night waking but I'm hoping she grows out of the crying.

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