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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Grapes cut in half/school dinners!

117 replies

Yepyep333 · 02/10/2014 16:14

I am a worrier when it comes to choking, my children are primary school age and have school dinners, I was scared to find out that bowls of grapes were left out for them to help themselves too, aibu to insist that they are cut in half? Of course I know that they can choke on any food and when I went and asked the office they suggested I give my dcs a lunch box instead, am I the only one that cuts them in half?

OP posts:
PotsAndCambert · 02/10/2014 17:43

phantom I know where you are coming from. But it's just not possible to have your eyes in your child all the time. You just can't.

DaisyFlowerChain · 02/10/2014 17:44

I think schools should cut them too and told DS he couldn't have them at school. The first aid course I have done says they should be cut for children not just toddlers. DS has been out of infants for a good few years and I still cut them or get him too. Only takes a second to be distracted when eating them.

I don't like sausages either for the same reason and I don't buy boiled sweets either.

Choking is one of my worst fears.

Idontseeanysontarans · 02/10/2014 17:46

Pots I completely agree with you about the first aid training but as the parent of a child who almost became a statistic I'd rather reduce the risk myself as well.
LittleBairn sorry, I assumed you didn't know what it was like and many people my SIL do use the word choking instead of gagging but some of us do know the difference.

PotsAndCambert · 02/10/2014 17:47

OP can I remind you that the recommendation to cut grapes in half is for under 5yo.
So the school isn't 'wrong' not to cut them for the children.

Also you are likely to have lots of responses on this thread from people whose child HAS chocked before. But this doesn't mean it's representative what is happening around, nor representation of the frequency if chocking.

Minor saying you are wrong, just trying to give you a little bit of perspective on it because I know it can be a very emotive issue.

LapsedTwentysomething · 02/10/2014 17:48

On a serious note, an ex-colleague's toddler son died choking on a grape. I would cut them if DD would eat them

Everythingwillbeok · 02/10/2014 17:52

YANBU regarding your child's safety but the school can't be expected to do this.

LapsedTwentysomething · 02/10/2014 17:55

Well the school shouldn't be supplying bowls of grapes then.

Iggly · 02/10/2014 18:05

I've been drilling it into ds for the last year or so he must crunch his grapes.

He can't have them at home whole if he messes about with them.

So yanbu

ChazsBrilliantAttitude · 02/10/2014 18:16

Pots
Both my DS are summer birthdays so were just passed their 4th birthday when they started school. So there will be under fives in a primary school therefore the school is "wrong" not to chop them.

ChazsBrilliantAttitude · 02/10/2014 18:22

past not passed

BlackeyedSusan · 02/10/2014 18:23

a child died at a school where my friend dropped off her mindees.

TheWickerWoman · 02/10/2014 18:23

I've insisted my five year old does not eat whole grapes at school.

My friends toddler died a horrible death from choking on one in 2010 and it's never left me. Young children can easily suck them back and choke!

I also read (shortly after my friends DS death) about a four year old who had died at school the same way.

AccidentallyInLove · 02/10/2014 18:24

It's not ridiculous!! I know a barrister who had 5 cases last year of children chocking to death on grapes.all these children were 4 plus.
I don't really care if people think it's ridiculous, I cut them in half.

millymae · 02/10/2014 18:33

YADNBU and I think the response you got from the school is very poor.

My own view is that schools are being negligent by not cutting grapes up - just look how many of us on here know someone who's child has died from choking on a grape. It is not an unknown hazard and schools should be doing everything in their power to reduce risk where they can. No doubt it all comes down to money................

ShowMeTheWonder · 02/10/2014 18:46

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Original poster
Yepyep333 · 02/10/2014 18:51

I agree it's very upsetting, lots of other parents thought I was over reacting but clearly I wasn't, I don't think they should provide them as there are plenty of alternatives x

OP posts:
Teapot13 · 02/10/2014 19:01

I think YANBU to be concerned but realistically the school might not change. I allow my 5yr old to eat whole grapes but she has been trained to bite through the grape, eat it in two bites, never put the whole thing in her mouth.

Everybody makes fun of us grape-cutters on threads like this, but invariably someone comes on who says she is an emergency room physician, who has seen what can happen, and she cuts up grapes for her kids till they are eight.

It is such a small thing to do, with such potentially devastating consequences if you don't bother.

AliceDoesntLiveHereAnymore · 02/10/2014 19:10

oh, and for god's sake, if a child is choking on something, as long as they can talk or cough, do NOT administer back blows. Get emergency help on the way (999) and let them continue to try to cough it up as long as they're getting air until help gets there. (I say this as someone who has done YEARS of CPR/choking response calls)

As long as they are getting air, there's time to work it out. But if you do a back blow, you risk lodging it and cutting off the air entirely... and then the clock is ticking. If they can speak or cough, they are getting air. Get help but do NOT interfere physically with it while they are still getting air. Just encourage them to cough it up, while emergency services are on the way. The moment they cannot speak or cough... THAT's when back blows and such do the job, because that is when they are getting no air at all.

kimlo · 02/10/2014 19:37

Dd1 choked when she was about 18 months, I've had to deal with a few choking incidents at work. I have to do the 12 hour first aid course for work at least every 3 years.

Dd2 is 5, I cut up her grapes, sausages and cherry tomatoes, shes not allowed boiled sweets or lollies.

At work we cut up the grapes, cherry tomatoes and sausages, as well as cutting the carrots and cucumber in to strips fpr all the children, even the 5 year olds. Its not worth the risk no matter how small.

In a school not all of the staff are first aid trained, at least in my nursery every member of staff has had the training. I would be very unhappy about this. If they can't cut them then they just shouldnt provide them.

HavanaSlife · 02/10/2014 19:44

After the pictures and talk we had when training to be a nurse, I always cut up grapes, sausages.

My friends ds got a grape stuck in his throat at about 2.5. He was blue and floppy when they finally managed to get it out. They were very very lucky. I just wouldnt risk it

Writerwannabe83 · 02/10/2014 19:44

YANBU - I know a 5 year old who choked and died on a grape that was given to her during the school's dinner time.

MummyLuce · 02/10/2014 19:48

YANBU at all. An obstetrician told me that as a rough guide, children shouldn't have whole grapes until they can spell 'grape'. I doubt a lot of 4 year olds can spell grape

saltnpepa · 02/10/2014 19:53

Who knew? Beware of grapes

tshirtsuntan · 02/10/2014 20:01

In our school you can specify what you Don't want your child to have at lunch, if yours is similar in policy you could say no grapes at all?

FindoGask · 02/10/2014 20:04

You can choke on anything, though. You can't remove all risk from life. Someone up thread said their child choked horrifically on mashed potato. How do you protect them against that, short of liquidising all their meals?

I have experienced an actual choking incident - my then 2 year old, on a bit of sausage at a breakfast caff: the worst thing about it was how silent she was and how long it was before I realised anything was happening, as I wasn't paying attention. Some of the most hideous moments of my life, so I'm not unsympathetic.