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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

Grapes cut in half/school dinners!

117 replies

Yepyep333 · 02/10/2014 16:14

I am a worrier when it comes to choking, my children are primary school age and have school dinners, I was scared to find out that bowls of grapes were left out for them to help themselves too, aibu to insist that they are cut in half? Of course I know that they can choke on any food and when I went and asked the office they suggested I give my dcs a lunch box instead, am I the only one that cuts them in half?

OP posts:

MrsWhiskersonTheFirst · 02/10/2014 16:29

No, YANBU, a local child choked to death on a grape at school a few years ago :(

HoldenMcGroin · 02/10/2014 16:29

HappyAgain op is not in about peeling grapes but cutting lengthways

I cut grapes this way until well into their junior years

The hazard is from a whole grape, peeled or not, lodging in the windpipe which is a pretty perfect match for grape size

phantomnamechanger · 02/10/2014 16:29

YANBU
DS when 3 almost choked on a cherry tomato, he was going red and had this look of sheer terror and was shaking and SILENT. It was terrifying.
DD1 was literally just picking up the phone to dial 999 and I was tipping him up and whacking his back HARD, screaming for help, then it finally came flying out. It seemed like forever, but was probably just under a minute in all.
A relative who is a doctor said, if you wanted to invent something to block a child's windpipe perfectly, it would be the same size, shape, and consistency as a grape.

Thumbwitch · 02/10/2014 16:29

After DS1 managed his choking episode, I peeled and quartered all grapes for him until he was around 3. I wasn't running that risk again until I was pretty sure he wouldn't do it again.

Thisvehicleisreversing · 02/10/2014 16:33

This is a major fear of mine too. Ds2 is 9 and I still watch him closely when he's eating grapes because he's such a fidget and chatterbox.

I wouldn't be telling the school to cut them in half, but I suppose I'd be having words with my child about concentrating. or telling him a horror story about school grapes so he only eats them at home where I can watch him

LittleBairn · 02/10/2014 16:33

YABU its time to let your DC grow up.

TeracottaTurtle · 02/10/2014 16:34

Oh God Phantom that made my stomach flip. You must have been terrified.

I'm not ott about much else. Both the dcs have had whole blueberries from about age 2. But they're smaller, rougher in texture and not as hard so not (to me) the same risk.

LittleBairn · 02/10/2014 16:35

Many people will claim their DC 'chocked' when in fact they gagged, a lot less serious and a very different situation.

MerryInthechelseahotel · 02/10/2014 16:35

A relative who is a doctor said, if you wanted to invent something to block a child's windpipe perfectly, it would be the same size, shape, and consistency as a grape. or a marshmallow.

CharethCutestory · 02/10/2014 16:35

Do them all at once!

ThisNameIsBetterThanMyRealOne · 02/10/2014 16:35

How old are Your dc op?

HoldenMcGroin · 02/10/2014 16:36

Yes Merry

Or sausage cut into rounds

HighwayDragon · 02/10/2014 16:36

And from experience haribo eggs. dd went purple

Idontseeanysontarans · 02/10/2014 16:38

The ones making smart arsed jokes about peeling grapes etc have obviously never seen their child going 3 different colours due to choking on a grape or similar.
Having to save DD1's life when she got some food stuck in her throat had more of a lasting affect on me than it did on her - I never want to see her going that colour or see her eyes rolling up into the back of her head again and if cutting up the odd grape or tomato stopped me feeling ill for a while whenever she ate then that's what I did.
It might not be practical to cut up all of the grapes but the school should be aware of choking risks.

Bambambini · 02/10/2014 16:39

I always cut my kids grapes when they were little. The thought of a grape getting stuck terrified me. A little boy choked on a grape at a check out in tescos - everyone watching and no on could do anything.

Spindarella · 02/10/2014 16:39

Usually I would say YABU.

However recently a 6 year old girl died on holiday in Wales when she choked on a grape. I can't get it out of my head, and think about it every time I give mine grapes, and yes, I've reverted to cutting them up. I don't want to give my kids phobias but I have impressed onthem to be particularly careful when eating grapes and to make sure they are chewed properly.

I hadn't chopped grapes for years but that little girl has really stayed in my head.

So YANBU, but I can see why the school would be a bit

PotsAndCambert · 02/10/2014 16:42

OP if that makes you feel better, our school once sent a letter home saying that all grapes and cherry tomatoes had to cut in half on packed lunches, incl the ones for y6.
I don't think anyone did it as we all thought it was bonkers.
Yes some young children do choke. Quite often it's because they are messing around with food in their mouth (see a tragic accident last year I think with a chd who chokes. as he was running with food in his mouth)
And yes this us also the advice given by HV for toddlers. But surely by the age if 4~5 yo they should have learnt to chew and be careful?

Canyouforgiveher · 02/10/2014 16:45

YANBU. I saw a 5 year old almost choke on a whole grape - his mother, a doctor, could not get it out of his windpipe.

Thumbwitch · 02/10/2014 16:45

Oh I like that grape-cutting tip! Fantastic, will remember that for the future. :)

MiuChoos · 02/10/2014 16:46

YANBU, although I don't know if I'd actually go into school and ask for them to be cut in half as I'd be too scared of getting looked at like this and being known as the neurotic, crazy mum.
I'd just impress on your children to make sure that they know to chew grapes well and be careful as whole grapes are a choking hazard.
I put both grapes and cherry tomatoes in my 7 year old's lunchbox and always cut both in half out of habit.

Thumbwitch · 02/10/2014 16:46

Actually, given the number of incidents of older children choking on grapes, I'm going to take back my YABU and say YANBU to be concerned, although you will probably have to supply your child's cut grapes yourself, as I doubt the school will do it themselves.

I may also reconsider giving DS1 whole grapes in his lunchbox from now on as well.

Fairylea · 02/10/2014 16:47

Yanbu.

Grapes are dangerous. It doesn't take long to cut them up or just not have them in school. Why take the risk? As others have said they are the perfect shape to choke on.

dangly131 · 02/10/2014 16:50

My friends nephew died from choking on a grape. He was 4. YANBU.

Original poster

Yepyep333 · 02/10/2014 16:52

I did ask the school about cutting them in half and the office staff very helpfully said 'do you want us to liqufy your dc school dinners as well

OP posts:

shampaintaste · 02/10/2014 16:55

I will NEVER stop cutting grapes up EVER, depending on the size, i sometimes cut them into 3rds. My kids (4 and 6 ) love them and everytime I buy them I store them high up so they cant help themselves. I'm so glad they dont like other round foods like cherry tomatoes or blueberries, and boiled sweets are banned. I have a chronic phobia of choking and know that if one of mine were to choke I would pass out through sheer terror.

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