To want these SPERM trees uprooted?!

[Missdread]

I run a lot out in the countryside. Out in the wilds, wind in my hair. Lovely. Except today, I was overcome once or twice by this horrific smell coming from the trees and shrubs to the edge of the footpath. I sniffed... gagged... sniffed again and then it hit me. The unmistakable stench of freshly squeezed semen! Ready with my angry pants to berate the teenage boy with his girlfriend in the bushes, I then realised it was THE TREES THEMSELVES! Eurgh!!!! WTAF?!!! It's horrible! Someone must know what these spermy trees are called. AIBU to want them all uprooted from my running circuits so I don't have to GAG on the stench?!!!!

Try a different route

Are they mountain ash trees?

We have a poo bush at work. I agree- get rid of the smelly bastards

There used to be a spunk tree outside dps work, it stank! Luckily he doesn't work there any more.

Feed the trees some pineapple.

Urgh! I hate spunky trees! YANBU

We have Garry Oaks here in BC and they REEK. They're protected too so you can't uproot the bastards.

Yes those sperm trees are a bit grim. We had an infected bush in our garden that smelt just like dog poo, that was worse.

These ones?

YES finally someone else has smelt these vile trees, they are called the man juice trees by me and dh.
The smell makes me gag and I have to walk past one everyday at the bottom of my road

I thought this was horse chestnuts in a early summer!

No one has ever believed me about the spermy smell.

Aha Trills, that could be them! Down with the buggers!

Rowans?

I have three in my garden. They reek.

My dh spilt a glass of red wine into a kitchen cupboard 6 months ago and it has smelt of spunk ever since.

I thought Rowan too

Wasn't there a comedy sketch by the blokes in Peep Show about this?

I don't know what kind of trees they are but I've heard of spunky smelling trees before, it's definitely a thing. I think Armstrong and Miller (or Mitchell and Webb maybe) even did a comedy sketch about this subject.

Fav, cross post.

You have clearly missed classic Mitchell & Webb sketch.

(can't get it to embed for some reason)

Oh, it did embed - and while I was trying to preview it I missed several x-posts

Thank you so much for having the courage to post this. I have a sperm path on one of my walks but have never been brave enough to ask if anyone agrees!

Haha loving the Mitchell and Webb! My DH is swearing he's never noticed the smell...!

Brilliant!

Male ginkgo trees smell horrific when they're fruiting.

Fab sketch!

There's a cumtree on our road and some cumbushes outside the old Main Library of Sheffield University- I thought it was just me. They are rank. (bom)