To want these SPERM trees uprooted?!

[Missdread]

I run a lot out in the countryside. Out in the wilds, wind in my hair. Lovely. Except today, I was overcome once or twice by this horrific smell coming from the trees and shrubs to the edge of the footpath. I sniffed... gagged... sniffed again and then it hit me. The unmistakable stench of freshly squeezed semen! Ready with my angry pants to berate the teenage boy with his girlfriend in the bushes, I then realised it was THE TREES THEMSELVES! Eurgh!!!! WTAF?!!! It's horrible! Someone must know what these spermy trees are called. AIBU to want them all uprooted from my running circuits so I don't have to GAG on the stench?!!!!

haha, one of these grows near my grandma. she calls it spunkybush hahah

Ha I always wondered what these were. We used to call them cum trees. Grim.

Stop sniffing freshly squeezed semen.

The Mitchell and Webb sketch is how I knew for certain that one or both of them visit Queens Park in London fairly regularly. It's the park they're talking about in the sketch and is packed with sperm trees.

I admit I enjoy a small giggle thinking of people paying ridiculous money for flats around there only to discover that if they open the windows the house will reek of semen. And yes I know that's very mean, but I can't help it.

When we lived in London there were these purple bushes that smelled exactly like sewerage.

I recommend heavy smoking. It deadens one's olfactory organ and masks any aroma of jiz from trees or shrubs.