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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To ask for my money back and leave my food in Greggs

86 replies

SugarPlump · 01/10/2014 15:47

I know I'm going to be told I was unreasonable for shopping in Greggs in the first place, I'm even more quick tempered/lacking patience than normal ATM so I'm doubting myself and wondering if I was being unreasonable .

So I only work the 10 -2 and as such have no lunch break and often go without until 5, simply cos I'm not all that hungry, my line manager however does encourage me to pop out and get a sandwich around 12 ish as everyone is eating around then.

Yesterday I went out on a work errand and called in to Greggs on the way back just a sandwich, can and cake, I handed over a £10 note and the lad serving looked confused then called er I've got no £5 notes, to someone serving some one else. Now it's not an official break I don't like being out of the office that long, but he just stares at the till, so I say can you just give me the change in pound coins I need to get back to work. He nods and carries on staring at the till until the person he's called too goes yes I'll get you some £5 notes then he hands me the change in pound coins which he clearly could have done 5 minutes before. So ok I'm slightly annoyed by left with my food and change.

Anyway today I was really looking forward to lunch today it's such a rarity the same lad was serving again sandwich out of the fringe with the can I picked up myself and a bun, he placed all my items in a bag and said how much it would be and handed me the bag, I again handed over £10 note he stared at the till with it in his hand and then went er what did you buy again, confused as he'd just told me how much it was I asked what he was asking he said what's in the bag? The bag he's just packed and handed me. So I place the bag on the counter and say please give me my money back I'll go somewhere else! It was more the fact he had been similarly slow yesterday that annoyed me most and it probably was a little stroppy.

I almost felt like going back to the office without anything, ended up with a sandwich I didn't really like, just wonder if I allowed my stress levels to raise unnecessarily!

OP posts:
Seafoam · 01/10/2014 17:42

yabvu :(

MrsItsNoworNotatAll1 · 01/10/2014 17:46

Poor lad!

Getting used to using a till and finding where the ever increasing amount of goods are on it is hard enough THEN there is the general public to deal with.

In some cases, even harder.

So glad I left.

Yabvvu.

BadcatBertram · 01/10/2014 17:57

Why is Greggs 'Chavvy' ffs?? It's a bakery - it bakes and sells food to people who are hungry and want something to eat without having to endure a character assassination. And the poor lad was trying to do his job. Hope nobody looks down that much on you in your job........

ChazsBrilliantAttitude · 01/10/2014 18:01

I think the OP has recognised that she didn't handle the situation well. She has also mentioned more than once that she has Aspergers. I wonder if some posters have read the whole thread.

Cornettoninja · 01/10/2014 18:25

I love greggs - I've only ever seen mnetters get hand flappy about it and even then it's usually when a newborn is given a sausage roll to suck on....

You were unreasonable, you picked up on enough cues to covey him as awkward and clearly lacking confidence in your retelling of the story and have thought enough on it that you posted about it so I think you know that. Cut yourself and him some slack.

Go back next time you fancy it and just be nice. No need to refer to you snapping, just prove we all have off days. Try and take the right change and be prepared for him to get a little flustered - you've probably knocked his confidence. Maybe go in before work if you can so you have some time spare.

Maybe you should consider stuff you can keep at work for when you do get hungry - packs of those cup noodle things or tuna pastas that they sell tinned. I agree with the observation that you might be getting ratty through hunger and that's what your manager is picking up on.

Your life will settle down - don't let it consume you and make everything a battle Flowers

trixymalixy · 01/10/2014 18:30

Poor lad, you were a bit unreasonable.

I don't get the Greggs angst, they do lovely sandwiches.

ClapHandsIfYouBelieveInFatties · 01/10/2014 18:37

I also get irritated. YEs the lad's being trained but he sounds like he still needs a lot of supervision. I go to a large haberdashery and there's a girl who literally...and I mean LITERALLY takes half an hour to cut some fabric of a roll, write a little ticket out, bag it and hand it over.

I was FIZZING the last time. She moves in slow motion...I want to poke her!

It's put me off the shop entirely.

SpringBreaker · 01/10/2014 18:39

Cant you buy it on your way into work.

Izzy24 · 01/10/2014 18:43

Or, maybe the Greggs manager could be giving his staff the support he clearly needs at a busy time. Until he feels more confident perhaps?

paxtecum · 01/10/2014 19:07

OP: I'm very sorry that your life is a bit of a mess.
I know that my irritation levels rise if I don't eat every four hours (or even three hours).

Can you find food that is easy to get down, maybe like a smoothie for breakfast or even just a banana? Maybe soup for lunch?

It really isn't good to miss breakfast and lunch, your metabalism and blood sugars must be all over the place.

I hope life gets easier for you very soon.

redexpat · 01/10/2014 19:07

On a normal day, YABU. If you are already stressed, it's the kind of thing you can really do without. Having just read your list of the stress that you are under, I think it's admirable that you neither cried nor committed violent crime. YANBU. Have some Flowers and a Wine and a very unmumsnetty hug.

Topaz25 · 01/10/2014 19:12

I have Aspergers myself and I can totally understand why you were stressed by the change in routine and unexpected delay during what should have been a simple transaction. It's not the assistant's fault if he was new but he should have had someone supervising him if he can't use the till or work out change well, especially during the lunchtime rush. There is no point dwelling on it or feeling bad. I think you recognise that you reacted in a less than ideal way and would do things differently next time. I've worked in retail, trust me I've dealt with worse.

Delphine31 · 01/10/2014 19:31

Sugar, you do have an awful lot on your plate at the moment!

As you say, it isn't an excuse. You know that you behaved unfairly towards the lad in Greggs. If you can face it, would you consider going in again tomorrow and apologising to him? It would probably mean a lot to him as it sounds as though he is just overwhelmed by the lunch rush and you may have dented his confidence.

Try to put it right and then rather than tormenting yourself for this incident, which won't help anyone, just resolve to keep calm and count to ten in situations like this?

It also sounds as though a good chat with a friend might be in order as you are dealing with such a lot.

Original poster
SugarPlump · 01/10/2014 19:57

Thank you, for the calmer messages, maybe I drip fed the aspergers cos that may have more to do with my reaction than the stress.

I often need time to think when I'm not in the immediate panic/phased mode that maybe my behaviour doesn't help situations, I was only diagnosed last year so have developed many coping/covering statagies over the last 30 years, I acknowledge their probably not all that brilliant. Thank you chazbrillant for understanding.

cornet paxtecum and the others that have said about my eating, I'm not sure it's that I get grumpy, but I do get very tired, and I suppose I can seem a bit snappy cos I'm tired which is probably my blood sugars. It's just the way I've been eating since I was at high school, hated the noise of the canteen so stayed in the yard by myself, by the time everyone was in the yard it was time to go back to afternoon lessons, another of my possibly not brilliant coping methods. Thank you for the suggestions about having food in my desk I could probably keep cup a soups at work. I'm not the greatest drinker either although I do keep a pint of squash on my desk.

redexpat thank you.

topaz thank you, it's not the easiest thing to express why even something so simple can cause so much stress is it, I expected it to be easy. I think it confused me why it took so long. I would hate to work in retail around, but I find social interaction so difficult, how do/did you cope don't people just do unexpected things all the time?

OP posts:
Original poster
SugarPlump · 01/10/2014 20:04

delphine I didn't want to use it as an excuse at all, well I'm not sure what to say but I should apologise.

I only have two friends, find it hard making and keeping up friendships, both live a distance away but waiting for one of them to get back from uni so we can text.

OP posts:
whats4teamum · 01/10/2014 20:06

My son has aspergers and can manage to be extremely polite.

He has applied for his first job in retail and I hope he doesn't have to encounter an attitude like yours.

You have been very rude to that young man and you must realise that or you wouldn't have posted. Look on it as a learning experience as my son does.

Take a packed lunch.

Guitargirl · 01/10/2014 20:07

OP - in your work situation I think I would take in something to eat with me. As you are only there for 4 hours then you don't need a break from the office as such.

It sounds as though you have a lot on your plate. I think retail or other public-facing staff probably bear the brunt of lots of people's stress. They are easy targets aren't they? Whereas the customer can choose to walk out the employee rarely has that luxury.

ClapHandsIfYouBelieveInFatties · 01/10/2014 21:12

4 she wasn't rude. She was abrupt and he was bad at his job. Whilst it might not be his fault entirely....it was still shite. His manager is not supporting him.

MiddletonPink · 01/10/2014 21:28

Take a sandwich from home.

You get something to eat quick and the poor lad from Greggs doesn't have to cope with your strop.

lomega · 01/10/2014 22:15

He was probably new or had a learning problem...you never know what is going on in other people's lives...maybe it was his first proper job? As someone who spent 8 years in various retail outlets I would have been quite flustered and worried about losing your custom and scared I would get into trouble with management for annoying a customer.

diddl · 01/10/2014 22:40

People do have to learn, but if he'd already told OP how much, why did he then need to look in the bag?

doesn't the amount stay on the till?

And if he is still earning then there should be somebody there to help if necessary.

Billynomates71 · 01/10/2014 22:57

I have only read op's post but perhaps as you only work 10-2 and don't have an official lunch break you could head to work 10 mins earlier and pop into Greggs on your way, there will be no lunch time queue, you won't be in a spin, and you can give him time to work out the change.

He does sound particularly dim though and I would have been annoyed. I expect he won't forge a long term career in a customer facing role. Nor accountancy.

bringbacksideburns · 01/10/2014 23:06

"at least he has a job and isn't fussy about working in places like Greggs."

This from a poster early on in the thread. Wow. Condescending. And bloody rude.

Bridezilla3521 · 01/10/2014 23:14

I work in retail and you are exactly the type of customer that can really put down someone's confidence with serving the public. I would never dream of talking to someone like that.

He may have a learning disability, be training, getting to grips wit cash handling etc.

So rude and horrible way to treat people.

If you're not in work until 10, what stopping you get something on the way in?

Get over yourself and just be nice. Is it really that hard?

Oh and I bet your colleagues love that fact you're only there for four hours yet you still get to go out during that time?!

kali110 · 02/10/2014 00:19

Everyone saying his manager wasn't supporting him, have none of you never had a moment when your mind has just gone blank??i did 11 years nearly in retail and hospitality and it did happen to me a few times! He may have taken your order and bagged it ready to then put it through the till and then simply forgotten it!
I had to be away from the till and take orders, going back to the till they've then gone clean out of my mind!
Plus it isnt always possible to not keep newbies off tills in busy times.my first place all new staff were weekenders, our busiest time so they had to be on there then. We had people moan but those were the only days they worked.
Sometimes you have to have new staff learning on tills even when it's busy.