To put dd on contraception?

[SublimeCorpse]

Dd is 15 and her bf is 17.

If I take her to the Gp for contraception am I being sensible, or encouraging underage sex?

'I had sex at 13, I would have loved to have a Mum who wanted to discuss sex etc'

God, I wouldn't have!!!!!!!!!!

just as an aside, there is a non-hormonal option - the copper coil. I have always used it, it's like the coil but with no hormones - works by keeping lining slightly inflamed so that no egg would want to make its home there. Only side effect, is slightly heavier period for a couple of days, otherwise it works perfectly for me.

I think the conversations you're describing sound great, and empowering for her.

But there's an implication that you think that, even though you've 'offered' contraceptive advice, you feel you ought to be actually pushing her into it?

That's where I disagree - you've said you're ok with discussing it, she's said she doesn't feel the need for any yet.

So you leave it at this stage.

I think the message you have given her changes completely if you then say "And I have decided to take you to the GP to get contraception sorted out". That's "And I'm your mother so I know best" not "You are a separate person who has a right to make a choice about this"

You have opened the door. It's not up to you to push her through it.

Though a lot of doctors are reluctant to prescribe the copper coil to women who haven't had children, or at least were - not sure what the general policy is now.

I think it's a great idea to discuss sex and contraception with your DD, I'm a bit more iffy about the "condom failure rate is too high, you should encourage her to get the pill/implant". I had and have horrible, horrible reactions to all hormonal contraceptives, including terrible depression and panic attacks (interestingly had almost identical symptoms when I had PND), not to mention awful skin, I can only imagine what it would have been like on top of general teenage moodiness. Of course, she might just get on fine with the first brand she tries, but for a lot of women/girls it's not as simple as "just take this magic no-babies tablet!".

And yes, totally agree with AMumInScotland about the difference between "discussing" and "bringing you to get medical contraception because I think you ought to be using it".

leedy i didn't know that - I got it before I had DS and then back in after.

They may have changed the official guidelines; I only started considering it post-children so didn't apply to me...

Yes, just checked, NHS website (for one) is now saying they're fine even you have never been pregnant.

YANBU, you sound eminently sensible and like you have a good open relationship with your daughter. And it sounds clear to me that you'll be proposing not strongarming.

But I agree with pp that

1. long term hormonal contraception isn't ideal for health, so do explore non hormonal options too
2. being on the Pill may make her more lax about using condoms

Oh and 3) Are you sure she'd actually take the Pill every day? The worst of all worlds would be if she got the idea she was protected due to the Pill, but actually had missed a few so wasn't protected...

I honestly think you are being sensible. I say this as the mother of two girls. I think its lovely that you are so honest and open with her and encouraging her to be with you.