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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Is she BU?

54 replies

Joolsy · 28/09/2014 21:31

OH recently lost his mum who used to babysit for us sometimes. So now we don't have any family nearby to babysit, apart from OH's sister & her 16 y/o son who is very sensible & mature. However every time I ask SIL if he can babysit, the first question she asks is "how much are you gonna pay him?"

I think it's a bloody cheek 'cos he'd probably do it for free as he's such a nice boy, but I'm sure she wouldn't let him. Plus she knows we don't have anyone else we can ask. As they are family I thought they would just help us out & we'd give him a bit of pocket money. At that age I was babysitting my cousin & never got any money - I did it because I liked him! Also DD would be in bed for most of the evening.

I would hire a babysitter but any (rare) nights out that OH and I have are usually quite short notice & I don't want to leave DD with someone I don't know.

OP posts:
IDoAllMyOwnStunts · 28/09/2014 21:36

I think its quite reasonable to pay the lad the going rate (whatever that is). He's 16 and would be v grateful for the cash I imagine. Would seem a bit mean if you didn't.

ThisBitchIsResting · 28/09/2014 21:37

Of course you should pay him.

WorraLiberty · 28/09/2014 21:37

I think it's a bloody cheek 'cos he'd probably do it for free as he's such a nice boy

Perhaps because he's so nice, people often take the piss?

If you want to give him pocket money for doing it, she's just asking how much.

I don't see a problem really.

Fairylea · 28/09/2014 21:37

I think it's reasonable to pay him.... at 16 he'd see it as a way to earn pocket money!

neolara · 28/09/2014 21:38

I think it's reasonable to expect to be paid for babysitting.

DearGirl · 28/09/2014 21:38

You want childcare then you pay. To be honest he'll be cheaper than any other babysitter.

WestmorlandSausage · 28/09/2014 21:38

You are being unreasonable. Sorry Grin his mum is looking out for him making sure he doesn't get taken advantage of by you. Part time jobs are much harder to come by for that age group these days.

a tenner and a pizza + beverage should be enough if its just for a few hours

Original poster
Joolsy · 28/09/2014 21:39

I just think it's cheeky to say "how much are you gonna pay him?" I'd never NOT pay him but I assumed as he's family........maybe I'm wrong

OP posts:
parakeet · 28/09/2014 21:39

When my niece and nephew babysit I pay them the going rate for teenagers round here, which is £5 an hour. Of course you should pay him.

TsukuruTazaki · 28/09/2014 21:39

Yabu

Joshuajosephspork · 28/09/2014 21:39

I think it's a bloody cheek not to pay him the going rate.

Littlefish · 28/09/2014 21:40

I think you are being unreasonable.

You should pay him the going rate for babysitters in your area.

TweedAddict · 28/09/2014 21:40

Of course you should give some money! And a decent amount not something silly like £1 per hour

dancestomyowntune · 28/09/2014 21:40

Sorry I agree yabu. Pay the boy if you want him to babysit.

trixymalixy · 28/09/2014 21:40

YABU, you need to pay him.

DollyDreamboat · 28/09/2014 21:41

Pay up and stop being so tight.

WorraLiberty · 28/09/2014 21:42

I just think it's cheeky to say "how much are you gonna pay him?" I'd never NOT pay him but I assumed as he's family........maybe I'm wrong

Sorry but I think you're the cheeky one here, trying to take advantage of a 16yr old just because he happens to be family.

Pay him the going rate, you'll have more peace of mind with him than if you paid a complete stranger.

Only1scoop · 28/09/2014 21:42

Perhaps your sil thinks you may take advantage of his good nature....

Sort out payment rate before he comes.

ThinkIveBeenHacked · 28/09/2014 21:43

So stop asking SIL to ask him. Ask him direct and agree a rate. When I was that age (admittedly ten years ago!) id charge a tenner plus transport home til half eleven/12 ish and twenty for any time after midnight plus transport home. Agreed in advance. Just go direct to your nephew but PAY him.

Zippyandbungle · 28/09/2014 21:44

I have a 16 year old and yes I would expect you to pay for their time. Why wouldn't you?

TinyDancingHoofer · 28/09/2014 21:44

This must be a reverse AIBU.

No one agrees to a job without finding out how much they are being paid. And babysitting is a a job.

hoobypickypicky · 28/09/2014 21:44

Why would you not pay him the same amount as you would a non family teen? Isn't he worth it?
You're (wisely) only willing to leave your DC with someone you know, you believe that your DN is mature enough for the job so why wouldn't he deserve payment? If anyone's got a "bloody cheek" it's you imo.

Perhaps your SIL is asking how much you're going to pay him because has caught onto your way of thinking and she thinks you've a"bloody cheek" too!

littlesupersparks · 28/09/2014 21:44

Yabu - of course you should pay him! I'd be more likely to chip in extra for family to be honest - the going rate plus takeaway and beers!

WendyBloomers · 28/09/2014 21:45

I agree with others, sounds to me like she just wants to make sure you don't take advantage. You're the one with the cheek!

fredfredgeorgejnr · 28/09/2014 21:47

Do people pay their MIL when they baby sit?