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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Feel like a horrible mummy because my children aren't fussy

153 replies

JumpRope · 28/09/2014 14:35

Particularly my son, he only doesn't like raw tomatoes - that's basically it.

Dd started being a bit fussy, but she's grown out of it fast - she's 3 now.

When I meet mums of fussy eaters, they seem to pay so much more attention to their child's like and dislikes and opinions. Is it that bad to be a fussy eater? I know it can be inconvenient.

Is it better to not give them an option? Am I a dragon? Arrrr

OP posts:
naty1 · 28/09/2014 17:17

Fussiness can make some thinner so no worrying about obesity.
Mine is both slightly fussy and greedy and a hunter gatherer. She ate a wild mushroom at 15m. Tried eating a conifer seed. Used to try eating any food off the floor at nursery.
I think its annoying if they dont like your favourite foods like potato, casseroles, carrots. I keep giving them as we have them.

I really wouldnt want a child who is really fussy it must be stressful and tempting to push.

IsItMeOr · 28/09/2014 17:43

U2 definitely not aimed at you.

As the parent of a truly terribly sleeping baby and toddler who has grown into a 5 yo with ASD, I would never provoke any parent by suggesting it was your fault if they did pretty much anything.

beccajoh · 28/09/2014 17:53

Clearly my toddler is further along the evolutionary scale than the OP's, judging by her complete refusal to eat anything green.

EhricLovesTheBhrothers · 28/09/2014 18:04

I never grew out of being "fussy". My dad is still convinced that one day I will start to like onions (I'm 34, it ain't gonna happen)
I'm quite squeamish, unexpected textures or weird bits in my food make me feel sick, textures I don't like make me feel sick (big lumps of onion boak) and that's just the way I am. As far as I'm concerned it's just innate in me so meh. DS is like it but more so. It's frustrating and worrying as a mum, at least I had a healthy appetite for the things I did like unlike DS who eats like a bird but I'm convinced 50% of his fussiness is genetic.

Balaboosta · 28/09/2014 18:07

Saying "this is not a stealth boast" doesn't make it not a stealth boast. Smug as hell.

MiscellaneousAssortment · 28/09/2014 18:10

Well done you. You can feel proud that you've taken credit for something totally not within your control. Bravo!

Btw, don't think you're out of the woods, mine became alot fussier aged 4, and at age 2 ate anything and everything. I was smug too :)

DontCallMeBaby · 28/09/2014 18:13

Do I get to be a great mum cos DD is a fussy eater? Or do I specifically have to talk about it with love in my eyes? I'm worried that by sulking like a teenager about her eating habits I may have done myself out of some parenting kudos.

hazeyjane · 28/09/2014 18:59

What a bizarre post!

I am confused, I have one dd who eats anything, one dd who is a bit fussy and a ds who eats an extremely limited diet and is under a specialist dietician.

I guess this makes me a horrible, caring, dragon mum with love in my eyesConfused

mum9876 · 28/09/2014 19:01

There are many, many things you will find that yours can't do quite as well as somebody else's, no matter how much you parent.

peppapigonaloop · 28/09/2014 19:03

What a weird thing to even think..total stealth boast!

WorraLiberty · 28/09/2014 19:06

Weird thread

Yes you're a 'horrible mummy' and a 'dragon'.

Feel better?

whataloadofoldshit · 28/09/2014 19:10

God there have been some weird threads today

PumpkinBones · 28/09/2014 19:11

Most children are just fussy because that is how they are.

I think there are a VERY small minority who have parents who will offer them a whole host of alternatives the second their DC's turn their nose up at something (my lovely cousin does this, to the point of allowing her DC's to have an ice lolly rather than a meal)
My DC's are not fussy because that is how they are, whether this is partly because I am lazy and will only make one meal for all of us will never be known and I am not really interested, just grateful as it is very stressful and upsetting having a child who will not eat.

ouryve · 28/09/2014 19:13

So, basically, you're having a sideways dig at parents of fussy eaters for "pandering".

NiceHmm

LiverpoolLou · 28/09/2014 19:15

I sometimes wish DS (17 months) was a fussy eater. He eats anything. His current favourites are gravel, mud and crayons. Yum!

JesusInTheCabbageVan · 28/09/2014 19:22

Your DS doesn't like raw tomatoes? How odd. I'm glad mine isn't fussy Grin

thisismypassword · 28/09/2014 19:33

Stealth boast --- hahaha! What a loser!

DaughterDilemma · 28/09/2014 19:35

OP you are onto something.

But parents like you aren't nasty dragons, they put their child before their own anxiety. Pandering to your child's wishes is not doing the best thing for them, being prepared to take the conflict and rise above it for the sake of your child's wellbeing is an indication of a kinder person, not a dragon.

What you are doing is reassuring your child that beans are ok.

Someone upthread mentioned the science behind neophobia and it would really help if more people understood that fussy eating is a normal developmental stage which passes. However it should pass quickly and can become entrenched by the parent's anxieties if it isn't approached properly.

ithoughtofitfirst · 28/09/2014 19:37

jesus lol

bronymum · 28/09/2014 19:41

beans are ok

Thank fuck for that.

OddFodd · 28/09/2014 19:44

This thread deserves this:

Feel like a horrible mummy because my children aren't fussy
vestandknickers · 28/09/2014 19:45
Grin

Mad and boasty.

And possibly a pirate.

You tick every box OP.

hazeyjane · 28/09/2014 19:45

Not all 'fussy eating' is the same, and not all 'fussy eating' is for the same reason.

Taystee · 28/09/2014 19:46

Pffffffft

HavanaSlife · 28/09/2014 20:01

Having a fussy eater is no fun, it can be annoying and stressful

Not sure ds3 would have survived back in the day, hed probably have starved theres so much he doesn't 'wike' although he will try stuff now somethings make him gag.

Ds2&4 eat pretty much anything, although I think they would draw the line at a steaming pile of cow shit!

Ds1 doesnt like potato, never has. Hes 19 now so I doubt its going to change