to think you don't put unflattering photos of friends all over the internet?

[moxon]

A friend-acquaintance swung by ours during a holiday trip to visit new DC and took some photos. Lovely and all. Then they went and put a holiday album onto the web. DC looks smashing (of course! ); me, not so much. In fact, I look pretty awful.
Wouldn't you (a) check if it is okay to put pictures up first, and (b) really try to choose ones where the adult looks decent, and not like a poorly-baked pastry with lank hair? I would, and do.
I want to ask them to take them down, but am likely to sound all uppity about my 'looks' if I do. What's best practise here without sounding like I obviously already sound?

We are our own worst critic though. It's a photo that probably only you think you look terrible on.

I tend to just untag.

YANBU.

My dopey SIL kept doing this. Putting hugely unflattering pictures of me and my DM on FB (including one where you could almost see up my mum's skirt ) without asking if it was ok.

Made me very angry and was part of the reason I deactivated my FB!

Send them a message and ask them to remove it.

Depends if it's a nice photo eg of your DC and you just happen to think you look rubbish.

This is why I don't let anyone take photos of me.

Posted too soon!

Or if it's a solo one of you looking bad.

If it's a solo one you would be totally R to message and ask for it to come down. Not so much if it's a group shot.

I have a "friend" who always puts awful pictures of everyone else up and only very carefully edited pictures of herself. It's so she looks better. Although could your friend just think they were very natural family photos?

Tough one really.

I have just spent ages scanning old pics from the 80s where frankly, we all looked like total knobbers. We all sit and go "noooooooo, don't put that one of me with the orange plastic earrings and the Bonny Tyler hairdo and the double denim look on FB pleeeease" But I would think someone was a bit self-obsessed about their own appearance if they actually asked me not to do it.

I suppose I think we look like what we look like. People see us every day on the streets and don't run away screaming, so I don't honestly see why an unflattering (and I agree with others that we are own worst enemies) photo would bother us.

I hate this.

I don't want my picture on the internet where it could be distributed by others.

People think it's their picture but it's your image.

I don't let anyone take pictures of me now.

People see us every day on the streets and don't run away screaming,

DC looks fab; I look shite. And not just vaguely shite. I would normally also just untag, but the album has been fb-ed, g-spotted, instagrammed, flickr-ed, so I'm pretty screwed. If there was another one of me looking decent, I think I wouldn't have minded so much, but all five are awful. I'm thinking of using the 'don't want to expose DC's face to the internet' as an excuse instead, but will probably sound even more ridiculous.

I don't let people take photos of me as I very rarely take a decent picture. A friend once took of me and someone had lifted me up and top I was wearing had lifted up to reveal my overhanging gut. I asked to remove it and fortunately she did.

Oh, just get them to take it down. But if they are shots not just of you, it's probably not that they meant badly at all.

I went through a stage of thinking I looked shit in every photo of me cos I'd gained a lot of weight quite fast. I got really precious about it. Now I look back at those photos and thank god my friends were kind people who humoured me, as it was a bit selfish to moan about how I looked in photos where they look great.

There seems to be 'did you not notice my flesh showing before you uploaded!?' motif in people's examples. We should start a lobby.

Tell her to take them off. I think it's really off to share images of peopel without their consent. I basically tell people they can take a photo as long as they don't share it anywhere on t'internet after a 'friend' of mine took pictures of myself and another friend toally hungover and looking everyone of our 45 years. We did tell him he wasn't to put it on FB but he did it anyway as he was a total shit. He never puts any of him looking crap.
I would never put any photos of anyone else on there unless they approved it first.

YANBU It's really rude to share images of people without their permission.
And if you really MUST share, then at least have the common sense to weed out the unflattering ones. It's not difficult.

i put a pic up on fb of my friend stuffing herself with cake my privacy settings are quite tight so only a couple of friends can see it she instantly shared it and i had to change the settings to public for her! this from the girl who said she looked like hell that day!

I am with you on this op I think it's terribly bad mannered

I always have the add to my timeline option so I can vet any that are posted so at least they can't appear straight into my time line

Tell her to take them down

Im mixed on this. I get annoyed about bad photos of me but really im annoyed cos its always a surprise to see how bad i look. I don't look in the mirror often and when i do its v close up. My face is rather odd looking from a normal distance! If someone went mad at me for doing likewise though i would think get over yourself arsehole no ones interested!

I would be really cross if someone put a picture of my dcs, tagged, revealing name etc on the internet, without asking my permission (which I would not give). The internet, and esp Fb is a minefield. Anyone can find whatever, regardless of privacy settings.

I don't think you are being unreasonable to be annoyed at not wanting your own photo on the internet, and should just tell her to remove it.

I was defriended because I protested (several times) to someone for posting my pic without asking. I feel really hurt by the facebook de friending.

What about 'what the hell do you think you are doing posting photos of my kids all over the internet? Please take them all down'.

Oh, forgot to say, I would never post someones children's pictures without asking them first and your friend crossed the line posting them all over the web! Tell her to take them down.

YANBU - I once attended a messy arts and craft class where I would wear horrible old t shirts and jeans and have my hair scraped back and was horrified when pictures that I didn't even know were being taken were published without my permission. I thought it was an invasion of my privacy and that the guy who did it was a complete dickhead!

There was someone in our crowd who used to just upload her whole camera full after a party, loads of pictures of rooms or tables full of people and spend ages tagging everyone, without ever seeming to notice that sometimes, some people look horrible in a shot. Everyone would then go though and untag. Someone must have had a quiet word, as she uploads fewer and seems to have figured out how to crop or how to set up her shots better in the first place.

Another friend in the group was quite annoying as he wouldn't just take the darn picture, but insists on telling folks to raise their chin a bit, straighten their shoulders and other directions. And he posted very few. I was annoyed at having been so often caught by him and his time consuming posed but never posted, pictures. Until, he finally did post them. Between his instructions and careful photoshopping we all look fantastic! All of our teeth are white, none of our eyeglasses reflect weirdly, our hair is neat, our double chins have disappeared, our waistlines less lumpy though not necessarily thinner, just, smooth. The posture instructions get as much credit as photoshop, he says. (Don't burst my bubble, i want to believe.)