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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

to not make DH meals for the foreseeable?

33 replies

FruitCakey · 28/09/2014 10:30

Just a brief insight.

DH and I got got into a quarrel last night. He called me a "slag" supposedly as I joke! I lost it. It was out of no where and I did not find it funny. call me a prude

Then this morning, I woke up and told DH that I knew he had been awake longer than I had and wondered why he hadn't got DS any breakfast. He refused to admit he had been awake for longer than 20 minutes. Anyway, this wasn't the issue. Mid discussion he called me a "slag" again, this time he wasn't joking. I was livid. I told him I won't be doing anything for him today, including meals and that he should do it himself. He simply replied, "That's fine, your cooking is crap anyway."

Angry Angry Angry So, DH and I are currently not speaking. I am not prepared to cook for him anymore. He has no respect for me at all. He is amazing 90% of the time, but then has these moments where he shocks me completely.

So... AIBU?

OP posts:
LaurieFairyCake · 28/09/2014 10:34

Don't stay with someone who has no respect for you.

I dispute your 90%, bet some of that time he's just not abusing you instead of actually being brilliant.

formerbabe · 28/09/2014 10:39

He is amazing 90% of the time,

And the other 10%?

Janethegirl · 28/09/2014 10:40

I would do nothing for him until I got an apology....no washing, ironing, tidying, shopping etc

Pobblewhohasnotoes · 28/09/2014 10:42

YANBU. Calling you a slag is just horrible.

picnicbasketcase · 28/09/2014 10:42

I'd tell him to fuck off and live somewhere else until he could show some respect, actually.

Vitalstatistix · 28/09/2014 10:43

This amazing 90% of the time, is that actually amazing or is that simply being a normal person doing nothing out of the ordinary, just things that anybody could reasonably be expected to do? Such as tidying up after themselves, being polite, engaging with their children, etc etc

What extra special above and beyond things does he do that are 'amazing'?

ChasedByBees · 28/09/2014 10:43

There's just no way a decent man would do that. No way.

Pumpkinpositive · 28/09/2014 10:44

So, DH and I are currently not speaking. I am not prepared to cook for him anymore. He has no respect for me at all. He is amazing 90% of the time

How can he be "amazing" 90% of the time if he has no respect for you? Which is it?

He sounds like a prince btw. Thanks

Original poster
FruitCakey · 28/09/2014 10:44

He can be incredibly selfish. Sometimes I think he treats me like I am his Mum rather than his wife!

Sigh. He just apologised but I still feel bitter.

OP posts:
18yearstooold · 28/09/2014 10:45

I wouldn't be doing anything for him ever after that

Where does he get off calling you a slag?

LeftRightCentre · 28/09/2014 10:45

He's not amazing. He's a dick.

rollonthesummer · 28/09/2014 10:46

What, he's amazing most of the time but today he has suddenly woken up, called you a slag and not fed his child and lied about it?

3littlefrogs · 28/09/2014 10:46

Dear God - the word "slag" would never cross DH's lips - never mind towards me.
You "H" sounds disrespectful and uncaring. Sad

Original poster
FruitCakey · 28/09/2014 10:47

I am beginning to realise I eggagerated. He isn't amazing 90% of the time. He just isn't an arsehole 90% of the time - that's it.

OP posts:
TheWitTank · 28/09/2014 10:47

It wouldn't be just the meals I would be refusing. Sod doing anything for him, and that includes living with him until he apologised profusely and started showing me a modicum of respect.
By amazing do you just mean being normal like any decent human being?

OhGoveUckYourself · 28/09/2014 10:50

I really cannot see a situation where I would ever want to be in a relationship with anyone who called me a slag, even as a joke. Don't let it go just because he apologised.

hoobypickypicky · 28/09/2014 10:54

Not being an arsehole isn't good enough.

And then he calls you a slag as well?

That's not a marriage, not a lifestyle. It's a life sentence.

I wouldn't cook or do the washing for a grown man anyway. Why were you? Can he not do it himself? Is he ill?

If he called me a slag he'd be out the door. Why would you want to live with someone who has no respect for you and who treats you like a domestic servant?

Vitalstatistix · 28/09/2014 10:56

It's really sad that you consider time spent not actively being an arsehole is him being "amazing", isn't it?

rollonthesummer · 28/09/2014 10:57

I just couldn't continue in a relationship with someone like that. Do you jointly own your home?

CariadsDarling · 28/09/2014 10:59

He called you a slag? Which really is another name for a whore.

He is ugly beyond measure and would only ever have called me it once.

OraProNobis · 28/09/2014 11:00

Is this going to be ok for the rest of your life OP? You deserve better and you can do better. I wouldn't give another five minutes to someone who could say that to me. And you infer he'd speak to his Mum like that? That just makes it worse. You deserve better.

magoria · 28/09/2014 11:03

What happens when he not an arsehole 85% of the time? Or 80%? Or 75%?

What is your cut off point?

calzone · 28/09/2014 11:04

And I bet you £100 he would not call his Mum a slag!

That is a horrible thing to say.

Today, I would go out. For lunch and dinner. Take the children. Enjoy yourself. Do nothing for no one!

And then you need to talk to him.

gamerchick · 28/09/2014 11:04

I would be gutted if my husband called me names and insulted me. I mean really gutted.

That isn't respect in a relationship Sad

magoria · 28/09/2014 11:05

And to answer your question YANBU.

Why would he even want to eat you 'crap cooking'? You are saving both of you really.