I really don't want exP to attend. So bored and fed up with his continued petty behaviour. I can't be bothered to smile sweetly and pretend it's water off a duck's back. It hurts when someone is rude and hostile and I don't see why I should invite him to have this opportunity to display more bad behaviour in front of ds.
I was notified by telephone that ds has an cardiac appointment on Monday. I was all set to tell exP the details but when he dropped ds off the next morning he stood on the path and threw his shin pads through the front door - not in temper, just in a sort of casual "I don't care about your property" kind of way. Really disrespectful. He didn't speak; he never does. Not even hello. This was in front of ds and is typical of his attitude. I decided then and there not to tell him about the appointment.
Last year, ds had major surgery to remove a tumour from his neck. ExP basked in the sympathy of having a son who had such a serious sounding condition (the tumour was benign) but didn't do one thing to help him or me practically. He scowls at me, never replies if I say hello and if he absolutely has to speak he looks away and barks at me. All in front of ds. Occasionally we would leave the hospital together after appointments and he would deliberately walk too fast for me to keep up or lag 10 paces behind. Ds would then have to choose who to walk with. See, told you it was petty.
Ds is now being investigated for possible cardiac problems. Might be nothing but could be part of a wider diagnosis with significant consequences. As a parent I believe exP should be given the opportunity to attend. But as a human being I think I should have the right to avoid putting myself in a situation where I am going to be subjected to his bad behaviour. Ive got feelings and it hurts. Ds (age13) says he doesn't mind whether his dad goes or not.
If I tell exP he's not welcome because he's so rude he'll tell me I'm being deliberately awkward and imagining it.