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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

Ear stretchers AIBU?

64 replies

Weathergames · 26/09/2014 17:24

17 yr old DS is at college lives at home supported by me. He is lovely.

Got his ear pierced about 8 months ago and is going through an "Emo/Being into metal bands I have never heard of phase" it makes me feel ancient even though I am only in my late 30s - and is "experimenting" with different looks - some more successfully than others but I never really say a lot or take the piss. He does still
sometimes ask if he/his hair looks ago to which I am always tactfully honest.

Wanted to stretch his ear when his earring came out to which I said I would rather he didn't as I have known of young people needed to have their ear lobes operated on to close up the holes. I said this could affect his job prospects and be permanently appearance altering.

He agreed to wear a fake one I thought that was that.

Turns out he has gone ahead and been wearing one and his ear already has a gaping hole in it.

We had a discussion about it this morning and I said the ear stretcher and him going ahead anyway are two separate issues and yes it is his appearance and his body but I would prefer him not to do anything permanent to himself as he is still only 17.

He did pay for it himself but I said while he is living here he has to respect my rules.

He said he hadn't taken it as a rule as apparently I said I would "prefer" him not to.

WIBU? ARGH!!!!!

OP posts:

Oldraver · 29/04/2015 16:20

I really hope in the next few years we get to the stage where having tattoos or body modifications are not looked upon with disdain.

Mrsjayy · 29/04/2015 16:28

Dd had a stretched ear between 17 and 19 she only went to the 2nd smallest you get 8mm or something i wasnt that keen but she assured me it wouldnt go dangley and i liked some of the discs she wore. Her work didnt say anything she doesnt have them now and the hole doesnt dangle she wears normal earrings now. Tbh it is their ears i wouldnt stop any near adult for altering ear holes. Fella in our bank has them obviously didnt spoil his chances of a job

Mrsjayy · 29/04/2015 16:30

Och thought zombie warnings were in place i really shpuld look at dates

likalixer · 29/04/2015 16:41

I'm not sure whether to believe it when people say ''under a certain width, the holes clear up''

I haven't worn earrings for years, but I have holes in my ears (from ordinary earring type piercings) and I can still get earrings through them 15 years later!

Mrsjayy · 29/04/2015 16:45

I dont know how it works but dds shrunk back to her earring size hole i wonder if its not do with how far skin can stretch

MrsGrimes · 29/04/2015 16:47

likalixer - the holes don't disappear. They just go back to normal ear piercing size holes. If the lobes are stretched beyond a certain point then they won't shrink back that small.

likalixer · 29/04/2015 16:48

It's been in the press that tattoos are on the wane.

Already a lot of younger people are starting to shun tattoos (too many oldies doing it and as soon as oldies start doing it, it sounds the death knell for any popular trend).

So there will be a whole generation of people out there looking really old-fashioned, because tattoos will have gone out of fashion!

This is the great thing about clothes and hair.
Clothes go out of fashion? Buy new ones.
Hairstyle old fashioned? Change it.
Tattoos go out of fashion? Tough. You're stuck with it. Unless you have tons of money to spend on lasering.

So glad I never had one came close tough

MrsGrimes · 29/04/2015 16:52

I've never got a tattoo because it's the fashion. I'm not sure what fashionable tattoos are. Is it certain pictures that are in fashion? All my tattoos are personal to me or something I like so they're not really making any fashion statement. It's not like buying this season's new handbag. I can't pinpoint a tattoo and say, "Yes, that was in fashion Spring/Summer 1993" so I'm not sure I understand the "in fashion" argument.

TurnItIn · 29/04/2015 16:57

I haven't read the whole thread but I FEEL YOU OP.

My boy did this at 16 [screech] and I was pretty upset and angry at the time

In the end I had to accept it but I did tell him that once he goes past a certain gauge he's going to find it very difficult to shrink it back.

Anyway this was all a couple of years ago. About a year ago he suddenly grew out of the long black hair in the eyes, ear stretcher, facial piercings thang and he took his stretcher out. [relief]

It's shrunk pretty much back to just a piercing size now.

I think you're best bet is just to talk to him about not stretching it too far and then you've got to Let It Gooooo.

MrsGrimes · 29/04/2015 17:05

^^this thread is 7 months old.

Pollyswall · 29/04/2015 17:16

It's a choice to make holes in your ears, it's not a choice to feel queasy if you see them.

I wouldn't employ a person with stretched ears because I don't want to feel queasy, I naturally would not tell said person this.

I used to work with a lovely man, covered in very decorative tattoos and piercings, none of which bothered me at all, until he started the ear stretching thing. Those big holes with lumps of bamboo through them made me shudder.

AuntyMag10 · 29/04/2015 17:29

I personally think it looks very tacky. Why on earth would you do that to yourself. I would be put off from employing someone like that.

Sparklingbrook · 29/04/2015 18:28

Zombie thread

Original poster

Weathergames · 29/04/2015 18:44

I read this and thought I'm sure I wrote a really similar thread a while back and then realised it is my thread.

Not sure why it's come back....

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