To be confused about breastfeeding advice...?

[Absofrigginlootly]

Our pfb is due end of October..... I feel pretty determined to BF exclusively for 6 months and then continue alongside weaning for the first year. I know it can be hard to master at first and you have to work though it, I feel I have fairly realistic expectations about BF.....

But I am a bit confused about 2 things....

1. I used to work in HV and saw lots of ladies who complained about how much BF hurt in the early days. I also have friends who have BF who said the first few weeks were quite painful/uncomfortable until everything settled down.

BF session with the midwives yesterday who were ADAMANT that BF only hurts if you have the attachment wrong. They said, yes your breast will be sore when the milk comes in, but your nipples etc shouldn't be sore at all unless you have the attachment wrong.

So can I ask, since I'm not sure which is the right answer.....will it hurt? Is that something I should be prepared for? Or if it hurts (beyond sore, engorged breasts) then that is not 'normal' and I should be seeking out some help to make sure the attachment is correct? What were your experiences??

1. The MW kept saying things like "if you are sore/full/have mastitis etc you can express some milk to help and store it in bottles etc". She must have mentioned it about 6-7 times for different scenarios where expressing into bottles would be helpful.....

Then when I said "so should I buy some bottles and sterlising equipment then for these sorts of situations - as I have no intention of giving expressed milk or FF - so wasn't going to get any of that equipment in 'just in case'?" And she said, "no don't by all that stuff as it could be a waste of money if you don't use it and you'll be too tempered to start giving bottles"

So now I am confused because she kept banging on about all these situs where expressing milk and storing it could be helpful, but then told me not to buy any bottles/sterlising stuff/expressing pumps.....

So what did you do? Did you buy any of these things in advance? Or wait and see? If you did buy things are there any products you specifically recommend?(e.g. Type of pump or bottles?)

Any help/advice/stories of your experiences with starting BF would be great to hear! Thank you in advance :)

With ds1 I was experiencing pain when feeding I mentioned this to my midwife who told me that I obviously didn't have baby latched properly. She lectured me for about half an hour about how if it's hurting I need to take him off and try again. So our second night at home was horrendous as I practiced this and ds got more and more worked up because I kept taking him off.
I decided to give him some formula in the end as we were both in a right state!
At my 3 day mw check I had a different midwife. I broke down in tears exhausted and upset about his feeding and she turned to me and said ' of course it's going to be sore! Your nipples are so sensitive and you need to get used to baby suckling'

Oh how I wished she had been the one to come at day 1! I honestly believe if I had the first one again I would have stopped trying!
The pain lasted about a minute or so into he feed and then stopped. Another week and was completely pain free!

With ds2 I knew what to expect so just rode it out! Please don't believe them when they say it shouldn't hurt because it does. Alot at first but it will go within a week or so. Good luck

Meant o say also I bought bottles etc to have just in case. Didn't put any pressure on myself either way.

Peer support is the way forward.

Had a bit of trouble bf'ing ds (my second dc) but I wish someone had told me about the violin/guitar thing, it makes so much sense to me!

I was pretty determined though and we didn't have tongue tie, and we bfed till he was nearly 3. It was great.

dd (my first) was another story!

I think bottles are much of a muchness, personally. We used Avent ones (purely as a friend had given us an Avent microwave steriliser so that was the only brand I'd heard of). I found breast feeding painful and fiddly and didn't last long - was glad I had got bottles etc already as DH managed to pick up norovirus so was in no fit state to seek out 24 hour supermarkets -- it was a bit of a low point!

By the way, I am a string player and can't say it's terribly painful on the fingers, although it does give you backache. Certainly even playing a 3 hour opera doesn't approach the pain of sore nipples!

Yes it hurts! Until you're nipples toughen up it hurts and yes it hurts if the latch isn't right too. I'm feeding my 7 week old and found that after a week the pain improved. Buy some Lansinoh cream. We have also had a case of thrush and that can make your nipples sore too.

I found my let down really painful, like being stabbed by hundreds of needles. Only now is it better and less painful but it's still uncomfortable.

We use Tommee Tippee bottles and I have a Medela swing pump. We also use Hipp formula which I've found much better on their tummies.

phiney I think you've just forgotten what it was like when you first started playing! Pressing your fingers back onto those strings hard enough to get a clear ping out of them in that first week of learning chords is awfully sore!

I always found the let down uncomfortable like a previous poster said its like lots of needles all over your breast. The nipple pain gets better as they toughen up I found gently washing them with water or breast milk then drying thoroughly follow by a good coating of Lansinoh after a feed stopped serious cracking. I had a couple of blocked ducts later on but found putting a heat pack ( used for muscle pain ) in the bra over the sore area overnight stopped mastitis.
I had a go at expressing but DS wouldn't take a bottle if I was within 30 metres so never really persevered. If boobs became engorged when I went back to work I just hand expressed a little in the loo until I was more comfortable.
I bf until DS was 22 months. I think I missed it more than him when I stopped.

I have Breast fed 4 babies and it hurt every time !
It was like if you constantly had any area repeatedly put pressure in it it's going to hurt. I used to count to ten for the pain to go for the first few weeks!

I was flamed a few months ago by posting that bf hurt and that saying this put off expectant mothers.

My argument was that one should be prepared that it might be painful. I wasn't and found it demoralizing that I was constantly being told I was doing it wrong.

I got through the pain and bf for nearly a year.

Ds was tongue tied and didn't get snipped until 6 weeks. Up until then, yes there were times when it was agony and I remember thinking this is worse than giving birth. After the tongue tie was sorted it slowly got better. Even then, he used to cluster feed in the evenings right up to about 12 weeks and despite the initial pain gone and latch all fine, just the amount of time he spent feeding meant it was painful. Some evenings I would be in tears.

However don't let it put anyone off, it has been the most amazing experience and now at 8 months I love it - just wanted to give my honest experience.

My tips are definitely use the lansinoh cream after every feed, if you do have pain get someone to show you the rugby ball hold. This meant the nipple is being sucked on from a different angle so the really sore bits got a rest and the other edge took some of the pain for a bit if that makes sense.
And definitely get checked for tongue tie before you leave the hospital. Im still really angry about how long it takes to get sorted, they want people to breastfeed but then leave you on a waiting list in pain for weeks.

Imo don't buy formula, I definitely would have caved on occasion in the early days if it was in the house.

Oh and be prepared for how hungry and thirsty you will feel in the first few weeks, I don't think I stopped eating!

My experience was it only hurt when the latch was wrong (tongue tied babies). My sister's babies didn't have tongue tie and she didn't find it painful at all.

I had painful let downs for the first 3 months though, but it's only a few seconds.

I never expressed.

I was told by midwives that if any pain was gone by the count of 10 then things were going ok. I BF all 3 DC and it was painful with all 3 for the first week or 2. Not engorgement pain, but actual sore nipples. I think they toughen up (nice!) pretty quick and it does become more comfy after a little while. Those after pains mind you.....wowsers!!

Also it seems overly negative to view the advice as "if it hurts you are doing something wrong".

Really the point is, if you find feeding painful there is usually something that can be done to improve things.

I found it painful for the first few weeks with dd. Her latch was incorrect and she couldn't move her head back far enough to latch well until she had some neck problems sorted out at 7 weeks.

DS, no pain at all. No engorgement, seamless transition from colostrum to milk and an easy bf relationship.

I agree with hollie, the mindset of if it hurts, you're doing something wrong is damaging and negative. If it hurts, then try and find out if there's a way of improving this because it just might be fixable.

I think I have quite tough nipples even the midwife was impressed as dd didn't have a particularly good latch. I did get some soreness every now and again but nothing unbearable. Even when I got mastitis I just felt generally a bit rubbish but my boobs weren't that sore! I enjoyed bfing, loved the feeling of closeness and used to almost feel a bit drunk on the hormones at times

However a good friend of mine who bf all her three children said it was pretty much agony the whole time and got no enjoyment from it at all, another friend tried and gave up after a few days as her nipples bled so badly her newborn was covered in blood

I think a lot of it comes down to luck and a bit of determination, do find yourself a decent support group though - that was something that kept me going in the early days.

With my first didnt seem to latch properly and I dint massage breasts.

second time round no problems at all, and I was told to massage breasts to ease that engorgment stage. which helped enourmously, no probs at all.

however, its very different when you do BF so dont put any limits on yourself, first time I was gung ho - gonna do it for 6 months, gave up after three, second time, said gonan do it for at least three, two years on we are still going

Really painful, dreaded every feed. Really tender, bruised and abraised. Nothing wrong with 10 llb DS's latch according to everyone who observed him, just he was a frequent (every 45 min) enthusiastic feeder. It was hell. I 'treated' myself to one formula bottle feed a day (in the evening, for the cluster feeding) and that tiny break was the highlight of my day - the only time I could enjoy my DS. I would have stopped breastfeeding but I had such oversupply from all the feeding I had no idea how to stop.

After 1 week I coiuldn't take any more - it was affecting my mental health and ability to bond with my son - and my DH went to Boots and purchased nipple shields. Life was transformed in an instant. Being such a big strong feeder (and me having such a good supply), DS had no trouble getting the milk through them. I weaned myself off them gradually over the next 3 months, and fed him (eventually pain free, except for the tingly letdown) for 1 year.

Midwives are very sniffy about nipple shields (as not all babies can get enough milk out of them, and they can therefore affect your milk supply) but they were a lifesaver to me (and to others). I wouldn't suggest you buy them upfront, but do a bit of research to find out where you can get them locally, just in case. If you are about to give up because of the pain, they are worth a try.

The only time I experienced any pain whatsoever with breastfeeding was for the first two days after birth, before I got the latch right. Even then it wasn't really that painful and would only hurt for a few seconds. This is really odd considering that under normal circumstances I have the world's most sensitive nipples and jump a mile if anyone touches them during sex.

I didn't actually know anything about breastfeeding before I actually tried it so I hadn't realised that it hurts some people (most people by the sounds of it).

I don't know why I haven't experienced any pain though. Maybe my dd has a very light suck? Or maybe it depends on the shape of the babies mouth / other factors?

Oh, wrt to bottles / sterilizing equipment - could you get a cheap hand operated breast pump and some sterilizing tablets? That's a pretty low cost way of doing it, if your not sure your going to use them.

It did hurt me at first and I had a breastfeeding counseller confirm it was nothing to do with the latch or anything else I was doing. However it did very soon settle down to just a few seconds of discomfort (a bit of toe-curling was involved as ds's little mouth came towards me!) which went once he was feeding contentedly. I ended up feeding ds until he was 3.5 years and was sad to give it up. It wasn't all straightforward, I had mastitis a few times (always after carrying ds in a sling so watch out for that if you are big-boobed like me) and also sore nipples. What saved me from giving up was a brilliant book I had from the library. I can't remember what it was called (was 14 years ago) but it was simple and no-nonsense and explained all about making sure to empty each breast to get all the hindmilk and how your body produces more foremilk in hot weather to hydrate your baby. It was all really interesting and gave me a bit of confidence that there was no great mystery and I could do it. It might be worth trying to find something similar. Incidentally to prevent sore nipples the book advised wiping on some breastmilk after each feed (obv not if out in public ) and leaving it to air-dry.I don't know how it works but I found it did help a lot.

There was one day early on that I had such sore, cracked nipples that I was dreading the next feed and managed to get a doctor's appointment. For every suggestion she had I tearfully informed her that I'd already tried that and eventually blurted out that I'd been tempted to try Sudocreme but didn't want to poison ds. She looked thoughtful and said I could try it if I liked as it wouldn't hurt him. I went home and slathered some on and it worked a treat. By the evening I was feeding with minimal pain and the next day I was fine. I wouldn't want to do that all the time but if you get really desperate it's worth a try.

Btw my experience of breastpumps...I had a hand pump which worked really well and then 'treated' myself to a battery one which I couldn't get the hang of at all and ended up selling. I think I felt more in control of the hand pump

sorry pressed too soon, meant to say the 'let-down' was quicker with the hand pump.

I am on day 12 of feeding DD. My breasts were pretty sore and tender when my milk came in, this lasted for a few days. My nipples have been very sore, they were cracked at one stage (even though the latch was right) but have now healed and it doesn't hurt at all apart from the first few seconds when the let down kicks in. As a pp said I think it's because your nipples just need to toughen up and get used to it.

I breast fed DS for 6 months and I didn't have any soreness at all in the whole time. Each baby is different. Last time I had to express for the first week as DS was in NICU so I think my milk didn't come in as forcefully as this time and the pump must have got my nipples used to it!!

My midwife said the key to getting your nipples to heal if they are sore is to keep them moist. Lanisoh cream is an absolute must and you can put it on just before a feed and straight after. It's definitely what has healed mine up. Also I kept up with paracetamol and ibuprofen in the early days.

I do wish that midwives would give a more realistic picture of breastfeeding, I think they don't as they don't want to put women off. The truth is it can be painful even if you are doing it right but it doesn't last long and it's so rewarding. I love the night feeds where it's so quiet and just the two of us.

I hope it goes well for you op

I'd agree with the pinchy feeling at first, but I didn't have any pain from feeding. I also didn't get any engorgement when my milk came in, any time (fed 3 babies). Second time around though, I did get intensely painful let-down - first time around it was a sort of crawling sensation which was quite unpleasant but with the next baby it was incredibly painful, just for a few seconds. Weird!

Breastfeeding is brilliant though