To be confused about breastfeeding advice...?

[Absofrigginlootly]

Our pfb is due end of October..... I feel pretty determined to BF exclusively for 6 months and then continue alongside weaning for the first year. I know it can be hard to master at first and you have to work though it, I feel I have fairly realistic expectations about BF.....

But I am a bit confused about 2 things....

1. I used to work in HV and saw lots of ladies who complained about how much BF hurt in the early days. I also have friends who have BF who said the first few weeks were quite painful/uncomfortable until everything settled down.

BF session with the midwives yesterday who were ADAMANT that BF only hurts if you have the attachment wrong. They said, yes your breast will be sore when the milk comes in, but your nipples etc shouldn't be sore at all unless you have the attachment wrong.

So can I ask, since I'm not sure which is the right answer.....will it hurt? Is that something I should be prepared for? Or if it hurts (beyond sore, engorged breasts) then that is not 'normal' and I should be seeking out some help to make sure the attachment is correct? What were your experiences??

1. The MW kept saying things like "if you are sore/full/have mastitis etc you can express some milk to help and store it in bottles etc". She must have mentioned it about 6-7 times for different scenarios where expressing into bottles would be helpful.....

Then when I said "so should I buy some bottles and sterlising equipment then for these sorts of situations - as I have no intention of giving expressed milk or FF - so wasn't going to get any of that equipment in 'just in case'?" And she said, "no don't by all that stuff as it could be a waste of money if you don't use it and you'll be too tempered to start giving bottles"

So now I am confused because she kept banging on about all these situs where expressing milk and storing it could be helpful, but then told me not to buy any bottles/sterlising stuff/expressing pumps.....

So what did you do? Did you buy any of these things in advance? Or wait and see? If you did buy things are there any products you specifically recommend?(e.g. Type of pump or bottles?)

Any help/advice/stories of your experiences with starting BF would be great to hear! Thank you in advance :)

I had painful nipples for 9 weeks with DD but I think it was a latch problem. When I learned the exaggerated latch things got better. In the 3 years in bfed her I had mastitis three times and a nipple blister once all of which was terribly painful but didn't last that long.

DS is only 3 weeks old but bf has been completely pain free so far. This is pure speculation but I think it is going better because I know how to position him better.

I did get a pump and bottles, but expressing was a huge hassle for me so I didn't do much of it.

P.s I am so pleased I kept going (was very close to quitting). I was also told don't quit on a shit day. That kept me going! Best decision I made to preserve and it paid off big time!

Watching this thread with interest.

So far I have come to the conclusion that just about all the breastfeeding advice I've had from HV and midwives has been nothing but conflicting arse.

I have been told the latch is correct, yet I was getting blisters every time leading me to start expressing. No one has had issue with this and has told me to do what suits me best. DS is 3 weeks old.

DS has been checked for tongue time three times previous by two midwives and a paediatrician. All have said there are no problems. Then this week, I've had both a HV and a doctor say yes he has a very slight tongue tie but not enough to cause problems.

I am now thoroughly pissed off, fed up and don't really trust any advice as its been bloody obvious that I've been having issues yet no one seems to take it seriously or give a fuck.

I have zero desire to attend a breast feeding group as its my idea of hell not to mention the nearest one is several miles away and I currently do not feel up to trekking anywhere, not least because of the logistics of packing up everything for feeding...

Seems like once again, its a question of ignore everything and work it out for yourself somehow - usually from the wonders of Dr Google and the wisdom of MN.

As it goes, it looks possible that DS has tongue tie which is an issue, because of the sheer number of symptoms we've had.

So yeah, take any advice with a massive pinch of salt and dump the hundreds of leaflets you get immediately as frankly its not worth the paper its written on.

Hmmm, I didn't have any pain feeding my Dd until I got pregnant again and my nipples became sensitive -when she was 16 months and we stopped. It's not a boast but I really didn't have any problems at all before that, no blocked ducts, no pain (though I religious applied lanisoh twice a day for the first few months). Just wanted to say that it may not hurt at all, although it can take a while to get the right position for you and your baby. Personally I found lying down on my side and feeding the most comfortable and easy position, then I mastered the rugby ball position and then the classic cradle position last - this didn't work for me until my DD was a bit bigger. You will need plenty of cushions, a feeding pillow can also be useful and plenty of time and support from your partner to get it right. Even though I didn't have any pain, it still took a month or two to get right and to feel like second nature. Also don't pressurise yourself to feed in public - this will be tricky for a while. Try feeding somewhere bf friendly like a children's centre or baby group at first. We never did bottles or formula, but I did buy bottles and a pump and just some microwave sterilising bags in case, as I wanted to have a back-up.

a) it hurts to start with, it gets sensitive. i used lansinoh religiously after every feed for the first 6 weeks. but also the hurt is just the first moments (seconds, minutes) then it settles and it's comfortable

b) equipment - i did buy an electric steriliser kit with bottles 'just in case' - ended up selling it on ebay...

got as manual pump that came free with a magazine subscription at the baby show and it was great as it also had one bottle... but thing is my DD never took to bottles so i did use the pump a lot to express when i needed to (like when i went away for a few hours and my husband did try to give her a feed, so i needed to express at the same time) and then on much later on (when she was 1 year old) and i had business trips overnight, the manual pump was great to bring with me and express while i was away.

i also bough a Medela electric pump and didn't get on with it. i got much better with the Avent manual so sold the medela as well...

Breastfeeding ds1 was excruciating (and my nipples bled and cracked so deep it looked like they were hanging off, I also got mastitis and he lost loads of weight and was admitted to hospital - I switched to formula), I had no pain with ds2, didn't even get engorged. He fed constantly and is having a feed right now aged 2.5, so in my experience yes it hurts like hell if the latch is wrong (clearly was with ds1 even though all health professionals claimed he was latched perfectly) but the right latch didn't hurt at all. Everyone's experiences are different though, mild pain is probably normal at first but if it's do bad you dread every feed then that probably means something is wrong.

Yes it hurts, even when you're doing it 'right' and it drives me crazy that they keep pushing this misinformation. It made it worse for me in the early days as I kept latching & re latching DS in the hopes that we'd get it 'right' and this shredded my nipples even more.

There are lots of reasons why you'd want to express occasionally. I'm not wild about bf outside of the house, so I'll sometimes do it to have milk for out and about. I have an over supply, so sometimes have to express a little off so that DS doesn't choke. Also, you may just want to entrust the night feed to dad now and again to give yourself a break.

Up to you when you buy the bottles/pump/etc. I don't buy the whole 'you'll be tempted to ff if you have them lying round the house' argument. If you're determined to bf, you're not going to cave simply because you have a bottle in the cupboard. On the other hand, if you don't buy prior to the birth and need them urgently for whatever reason, you'll get hold of them in a 24 hr supermarket, so you'll never be stuck.

I bought the Tommee tippee closer to nature bottles because they're supposed to mimic sucking at the boob and therefore minimise risk of nipple confusion. However, DS never had any issues with nipple confusion and has now started to refuse bottles, which is driving me wild!

Similar to Fanny, I had two different experiences.

With DS, my first, I had absolutely no pain whatsoever. He was a champion feeder and I found bfing him thoroughly enjoyable.

DD, on the other hand, had a much smaller mouth, which made a huge difference I think. It was really hard to get her latched on properly and I ended up with shredded nipples and blocked ducts. At one point, every time I latched her to my left breast the pain was so bad I couldn't speak, I had to breathe through it. It was excruciating. Her latch was bad but I tried everything to sort it out with no success. Eventually her mouth grew and it just got better on its own and I fed her till she was 17 months.

Generally, your milk will come in 3 or so days after the birth. Your breasts will likely be hot, hard and very sore. For the first couple of weeks, even if your latch is correct, your nipples might feel sensitive and stingy.

But, if you are having pain deep in your breast (rather than just general engorgement) or your nipples are visibly damaged or bleeding then, yes, the latch is likely to be wrong and you need to get it sorted. Trying to feed through pain makes you really resent bfing and turns the whole experience into an ordeal. There's no need for that.

I didn't have any pain breastfeeding the 3 dcs, apart from the occasional nip when they were older and toothy, or when younger and trying to look behind themselves while still latched on.

I obviously have leathery nipples! Or just never registered there being pain.

Breastfeeding was pretty much the hardest thing I've ever done. But I was very bloody-minded so I carried on. In the end it worked and I bf until 13 months, but really I'm not sure whether it was worth the up-front agony.

It hurt a lot at the beginning, despite being told that the latch was fine, so I drew my own conclusions from that. I think breastfeeding is just generally tricky, particularly when the baby is tiny and isn't used to it. I noticed that all the photos that demonstrate latch use an older baby, rather than a newborn! I had various other issues and a lot of conflicting advice about the causes. They all resolved as the baby got older, but it was an exercise in patience. This was difficult for me because I wanted to diagnose and "fix" the problem! I was desperate for breastfeeding to be easy, which it only became at about 4-5 months.

I went to a breastfeeding group, which I found a bit boring, but the helpful thing was that I actually saw other people breastfeeding. I realised that I had never really seen breastfeeding done in real life! It was interesting that despite the pictures you see, in reality, everyone does it slightly differently. I think it would be great to attend a breastfeeding group before having the baby if possible.

Finally, definitely attempt to introduce the bottle at 3-6 weeks if you're confident breastfeeding, otherwise you may have a bottle-refuser.

Just to even things up, no pain at all here for either child. Not even when my milk initially came in.

I was fortunate enough to have no pain, a bit of soreness and tenderness occasionally but no pain, ever. I cannot believe BF can cut your nipples! my boobs are hurting in sympathy just from reading that. Ow ow ow.

At 5 weeks my son was diagnosed lactose intolerant so I had to stop breastfeeding. I used the Playtex collapsible liner bottles and nipple-like teats.

I also have to add that I am far, far wimpier than seemingly every other woman here - if it hurt badly or cut me I would just stop. Kudos to everyone who got through it.

For bf was agony. DS was tongue tied and my nipples were shredded with deep cracks all around them. After his tie was snipped it took a couple of weeks for them to heal up then it was fine (except for a case of thrush which feels a bit like burning). I still don't know what possessed me to carry on through so much pain and grief. I never returned to ebf after having to top him up due to weight loss at around 2 weeks old but mix feeding worked for us.
I'd but the steriliser, pump and bottles etc. I was in a lot of pain and had all of the stuff in but didn't give formula until I was advised to by the paeds so it didn't make a difference that it was there. When my nipples were really bad I wanted to express to give them a break and it wasn't very nice having to learn how to set the pump up and everything when I was in a bit of a state!
When I was pregnant I was clueless about bf. I thought it was simply a decision you made to do it or not and that was that. The reality shocked me, so you're doing the right thing by getting as much information as you can. Try not to put too much pressure on yourself though.

1/ yes it hurt me for about the 1st 6 weeks. Especially at the beginning of each feed, it was toe curling. Was a bit better once she got going.

I had my latch checked by HV x2, LLL consultant, BF peer supporter and midwife and they all said it looked fine. DD had been gaining weight well, holding at 75th centile so she had been getting enough milk, so I carried on.
At about 6 weeks I suddenly realised it didn't hurt any more. My sis and SIL both reported similar experience.

2/ we had bottles and steriliser in the house from day 1 (albeit borrowed at last minute) as my milk didn't come in until day 5 and we were topping up with formula for the 1st week or so. This did not tempt me to switch on to bottles even though BF was not easy to establish.

When my milk came in I was so engorged DH raced out and bought an electric pump. It was good to use when too engorged but I could not get into the swing of regularly expressing though and dd eventually refused all bottles as I was not consistent so I didn't use it for ages. Had a lumpy blocked duct recently and used it for that so still good to have on hand.

Used Avent bottles and breast pump, both were fine but I did no research as it was all last minute, having been convinced BF would be easy and work perfectly

obviously YANBU, since some degree of discomfort seems to be v common. With DS1 I had the initial pins and needles of let-down for the first few seconds of each feed for the first few weeks, that didn't happen with Ds2 or DD. Ds2 had tongue tie and his latch was rubbish until it was snipped on day 5, DD's was done straight away and feeding her has been fine. I agree with the comment to get some Lansinoh and don't wait until you are sore to use it.
I used an Avent manual pump to give occasional bottles of EBM to Ds1, Ds2 was a bottle refuser so never used it, DD was prem and tube fed then later topped up with bottles EBM as she was too small to suck effectively, and I rented a medela double pump. A manual pump is ok for occasional use, if you end up expressing any amount you'd be better to hire a hospital grade electric pump. I have an Avent steam steriliser, but in hospital used the microwave pouches. The pumps come with a bottle and teat - tommee tippie bottles don't fit Avent pumps and vice versa. In your shoes I'd get a hand pump and a microwave steriliser bag, if you don't use the pump you could sell it on.

Watching with interest as I'm 34 weeks pregnant with #2 and keen to make breastfeeding work this time around.

Like mewkins upthread, bf was horrible first time around, toe-curlingly, scream-out-loud painful. I dreaded every feed too. There were latch issues but no-one could seem to pinpoint the specific issue DS had. He seemed to struggle to open his mouth wife enough to gulp the breast and still hates opening his mouth wide now to brush his teeth or anything.

So I would say there is an element of truth to the MW advice that if it hurts, you're doing it wrong. If it's excruciating then there is clearly a problem but it doesn't mean 'you're doing it wrong', it may be an issue with the baby e.g. tongue tie. Some pain is definitely normal at first. Every woman I know who bf-ed had some discomfort starting out but I'm not sure either how common it is to be in total agony, dreading feeds, like I was.

From the advice that I had and backed up by later reading, peer support training etc -

It does hurt your nipples at first when they first attach. Count to 10 though and it should stop. If it doesn't, then there probably is a problem with attachment and you should seek help from somebody knowledgeable, which may not be a midwife or health visitor. Midwives get more BF training than HVs but it may be out of date or half forgotten, as they're not required to update it.

For expressing, some people seem to think it's the answer to everything but I don't think it is. Of course in some situations it's excellent but most times it's suggested, it's a rather over complex solution to a problem which could be solved various other ways.

I think I did buy a few bottles before the birth and I was given a breast pump by a friend who had never got around to using it but I used it on about three occasions.

YY also to not "you're doing it wrong" but that there may be an issue with the baby's mouth. It can be bad attachment technique but it's not "you're getting it wrong!!" as such, just, it's not something we tend to see commonly these days so it doesn't come instinctively to us.

it may be true that it only hurts if there's something not quite right, but it doesn't mean you can actually fix it! When breastfeeding, I realized that my right nipples is a slightly different shape than my left, and it clearly made things more difficult for Dd, and more painful for me.

my cracked nipples hurt like hell for a few weeks, but every time I saw a midwife or a breastfeeding consultant, they told me everything looked great and Dd's latch was perfect. Then things gradually got better as my skin got tougher, until it didn't hurt at all, maybe around the 2 months mark...

I found the website kellymom (first hit if you google it) to be really useful. My friend tandem fed her toddler and newborn baby and she said her nipples hurt again once the newborn started feeding so I guess it is to do with the new baby getting used to their latch. Pretty much everyone has a bit of pain at first though so it doesn't mean you're oung anything Wong f this happens.

I wouldn't stress too much, breastfeeding is basically supply and demand so yes if you have very unconfortable full breasts its better to have the baby empty them because if you pump too much it will increase your supply (since the baby will eat even more later) and lead to even fuller breasts in the future. It's easy to stress about supply but it tends to work itself out after a while whatever you do (I was pretty clueless and it all worked out).

My one piece of advice sold be to make sure you have plenty if entertainment food and drink to hand in preparation for cluster feeding in the early months. I cut ally loved hing an excuse to be lazy so enjoy it!

as to what to buy - I was lent a manual Tommee Tippee pump that did the job fine. We bought an Avent microwave sterilizer that came with bottles and just used those. We had the odd TT one just lying around and neither of mine ever seemed phased by it. Formula - again much of a muchness really. Used SMA with DS just because it was what DH picked up. Seemed a bit rich for DD so we used Cow and Gate for her, just trial and error really.

I am still bfing my 9mo old yes, it bloody does hurt! It was painful to begin with, uncomfortable but sore even when she was latched on properly. Not agony, but it was sore. I'm glad I kept going though as it did get much easier.
I had bottles and a pump from about 1 week into feeding as she wouldn't/ couldn't latch on properly when my milk first came in. Didn't have to use it often but was a godsend on the occasions I did need it x

I am still bfing my 9mo old yes, it bloody does hurt! It was painful to begin with, uncomfortable but sore even when she was latched on properly. Not agony, but it was sore. I'm glad I kept going though as it did get much easier.
I had bottles and a pump from about 1 week into feeding as she wouldn't/ couldn't latch on properly when my milk first came in. Didn't have to use it often but was a godsend on the occasions I did need it x