To think it's not my fault that ex didn't get to see the children before his holiday?

[D0oinMeCleanin]

He's going away tonight.

He texted me this morning at 7 30 am. I didn't see the message until 8 15 because I was busy getting the kids ready for school.

He wanted to come and see them. I said no, they didn't have time. They needed to finish getting ready for school.

He will remember this

For background info he recently didn't the see children for 2 weeks and spoke to them only once during this time. He refuses to have them at his overnight. He last saw them (after a week of no contact) on Monday. He messaged while I was at the shop asking if he could come round. The children replied. He then waited until they were in bed and started crying because I wouldn't give him money.

AIBU to think if seeing them before he left was that important he would have made sensible arrangements to do so at a time convenient for us?

D0oin, he's telling you all about who he is. Remember this!

Also, why don't you consider doing the Freedon Programme, to help you understand why you keep letting this prick inch his way into your life.

and for you!

I really don't have time to commit to anything right now. I'm running about like a headless chicken as it is. My family are great. The way they've stepped in now that ex isn't having the children over nights anymore has saved my job. I couldn't ask more from them so I could attend a course. Maybe once things settle down a bit.

Atm I just want him to leave us alone. I know that'll never happen. I have his kids with me. But I want him to stop texting me for little chats or favours. Interaction with him needs to be limited to "Can I see the children on X day?" Or even better set contact days, so I don't have to deal with him at all.

The best way to deal with that is to tell you won't be responding to any messages about anything that isn't about the children and don't ..

You enjoy the peace while he is away . I am sure then you will enjoy his holiday too

Here you go D0oin, you can access it online...
Freedom Programme

You always come over as such a lovely person who is determined to see the best in people...but...you knew there was one! How many times does your ExH have to act like a twat and treat you and the kids appallingly before you stop being surprised by it??? Step away! Ignore the chatty texts, set contact days and don't tie yourself in knots trying to facilitate contact. Stop putting up with his crap, you really don't have to.

I know you love a stray but please give up on this one, he will just turn around and crap on you yet again. (Do you like my dog analogy , it's good isn't it? )

No YANBU, he knew he was going away. Plenty of time to arrange to see his own kids. Reeks of a set up for you to be the bad guy

So much for peace while he's away.

His sister's just turned up. Apparently her gutting his house involves him instructing her to bring 15 black bags full of shite round to mine

He even sent the wii fit board and dance mats, that belong with the wii he insisted on keeping No wii though, just the peripherals. The ones he never used.

I should've kept them and told her it looked like he'd forgotten to pack the wii he said I could have

Can't you just tell her to take them away again?

Bloody hell I hope you sent it all away again! He spunds like a bloody pain, if he no longer helps with the dcs while you work arrange set times for access

"Started crying because I wouldn't give him any money"

Blimey does your ex want you to pay for his holiday aswell....

Eeeuuuu

No, he's done this to piss me off. I don't want him to know it's worked.

My Dad's going to take it all down to the skip for me.

I might start posting on Facebook about how much money I made from selling it all

Tell her to find a lock up storage unit or take it straight to the tip.

Wtf,just drop all his shit back to his own house, leave it in his garden.

What else was in there?

15 bags?????????????????

I was going to be nice and let her know his curtains were still open last night, his giant TV was in full view of the window and it was clear there was no-one staying in the house. It's already been broken into twice. The first time the dogs saw them off, the second time they got away with a load of broken electricals before the dogs were alerted.

There's no dogs there now. The burglars are still active in this area. They got next door but one to him a few weeks ago and the flat next door to me thinks they tried here a few nights ago, but the dogs saw them off again, by raising merry hell and having at least three houses outside, if only to tell them to shut the fuck up. The flat saw three lads scarper when a man from the house opposite my back came out to start shouting at my dogs.

I forgot to tell her that there were burglars active in the area and my phone is buried under all the shite, so I can't ring her. Shame.

I haven't been through them yet but it looks like old clothes and shoes from the kids and old books, as well as magazines.

Going on the bags he tried to send last time he tried this, there'll be actual rubbish in amongst it too.

I started making plans to leave just after XMas last year. Just before XMas last year I tried to sort that house out myself because the clutter and mess was driving me mad. I had hoped if I decluttered and fixed what I could he'd get people in to do the things I couldn't. He never did.

I had my family running me to the tip/charity shops 3 or 4 times a week, whilst begging him to hire a skip. He controlled all the money so I couldn't do it without his permission. My wages wouldn't have covered a skip without the kids going without. After about 6 weeks of this, I decided I was taking the piss out of my lovely family and stopped but asked people to let me know if they were going to be going to the charity shop/skip and I'd send some stuff with them. I think what's turned up is what's left over from that along with everything the kids left there (Books, teddies, pillows etc) for when they stayed there.

It looks like he is trying to erase all evidence of the children ever being there

More fool him, imo. My kids are better off without him and have actual, real, decent men in their lives to act as role models for them.

I've spoken to my mum now I've unburied my phone, she's going to a car boot at the weekend, so we're going to car boot it all and use the proceeds to go towards the girls night we were planning for the weekend.

I don't even have to look at it. She's looking after the children here tonight and can't fathom out my internet telly box, so she's going to go through it all instead of "sitting pressing random buttons on that stupid telly" (I've showed her several times how to work the TV and/or PC and even left detailed instructions with pictures)

I'm just going to utterly ignore everything he says and does and focus on my own life.