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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

Am I paranoid or is this woman seriously disturbed?

47 replies

PercyPigFan · 25/09/2014 20:36

Have NCd for this for reasons that will become obvious.
I have three brothers, I'm second child, the problem is with the wife of my middle brother.
We've never really seen eye to eye, (my brother and I don't either) but we tolerate each other for the sake of the larger family.
But over the last few years it's got slowly worse, to the extent that she snipes at me every time she sees me and slags me off to others (who then tell me).
But now I think that not only is she spying on me, she's also telling ridiculous lies about me and my family.

A few times she's mentioned things I have posted on here, including one post I hadn't discussed at all in RL. Not specifically but just generalising, almost as if she thinks I've ID'd myself and is trying to test the water.

But what happened yesterday was just incredible. She's PG and went for a routine scan. She phoned my mum and said there was a problem and she had to wait for tests so could my mum pick her kids up from school. This was at about 11ish.

She eventually picked them up at 6, telling my mum all was clear on the scan but she had been there all day waiting around. She noticed a book I had dropped round and asked when I'd been round (like it matters).

My mum said 3ish,I had stayed for a cup of tea.
SiL said: "That's strange, she normally spends time with her OH when he's off and doesn't come round."
My mum said: "No, he's not off, he's at work."
SiL: " I went past their house at 3 and his car was outside."

It's quite distinctive so she wouldn't be mistaken.

My mum insisted it wasn't then SiL said: " Well, I don't tell lies so SOMEONE is up to SOMETHING." Implying basically that my OH was lying about going to work.

Firstly, I was in till 2.45 and he definitely was not there then! His shift started at 12.
Secondly, he works in a prison so he can't exactly come and go as he pleases. Also, I have no reason to think he isn't at work.
Thirdly, she had NO reason to pass my house at that time as it's not on any route she needs to take.
Most importantly SHE WAS SUPPOSED TO BE IN HOSPITAL! Why was she even driving anywhere, let alone past my house to make up total bullshit?

AIBU to feel like she's overstepped the mark?? My OH, who doesn't mince his words, thinks she's "mental" and we should report her to the police but I don't think making up utter bollocks is actually a crime.

I'm not really sure what I'm after, just needed to vent. And I don't care if she reads it, she might realise it's about her and fuck off out if my life.

OP posts:

FarelyKnuts · 25/09/2014 20:42

Don't know, but honestly? Does it really matter? You know where he was and you were. She's bonkers. End of.

whois · 25/09/2014 20:45

You know she's mental. Your DH knows it. Your mum knows it.

Have a good laugh about it and try to ignore.

calzone · 25/09/2014 20:47

Call her on it.

Ask why she was driving by your house at that time but didnt pick the children up til 6pm.

Tis v odd.

ouryve · 25/09/2014 20:48

She sounds like a bit of a drama llama. If at all possible, I wouldn't waste breath on her.

Liara · 25/09/2014 20:50

You see, I couldn't resist a situation like that.

I would be setting up little situations to confuse and bemuse her, and make her really wonder what is going on. It would amuse me to see her getting more and more wound up and confused, while I calmly asserted more and more random things.

But then I am evil.

ArsenicFaceCream · 25/09/2014 20:51

Report her to the police? Your DH is in danger of sounding a bit touched himself.

Calm down and laugh it off.

HexBramble · 25/09/2014 20:52

Ignore.
But if I were your Mum, I'd be sorely tempted to point her error out.

HexBramble · 25/09/2014 20:52

Yes. Call her on it.
Simpler, and more honest.

LEMmingaround · 25/09/2014 20:53

Oh nice lets all poke fun at the "mental" woman.

Your post isn't that coherent itself actually

ithoughtofitfirst · 25/09/2014 20:54

Hahaha oh my god what a sketchy moo

MrsWinnibago · 25/09/2014 20:54

I wouldn't laugh. She sounds disturbingly obsessed or something.

Nicknacky · 25/09/2014 20:55

Why did your mum even repeat this conversation to you? Just sounds like crossed wires then bitching, to be honest.

And as for reporting to the police?? I assume your h is joking?!

DameDiazepamTheDramaQueen · 25/09/2014 20:55

It's odd behaviour, it doesn't mean she's mentally ill and it's offensive to use the term mental just as it would be to call someone spaz or any other vile name. Just ignore her, who cares what she thinks/says.

ithoughtofitfirst · 25/09/2014 20:56

She would drive me nuts. Absolute drams.

RandomMess · 25/09/2014 21:01

She likes stirring, ignore, ignore, ignore

AdmitYouKnowImRight · 25/09/2014 21:06

No chance she got the house wrong?

But she does sound unhinged.

sunflower49 · 25/09/2014 21:06

I would do the same as Liara.

Serenitysutton · 25/09/2014 21:08

Reporting to the police is a totally bonkers idea.

I'm not sure if she mad - it doesn't really seem much to indicate such serious MH problems- but she sounds like a nasty piece of work. She obviously doesn't like you and is trying to cause trouble. I would ignore and call her out should if come up again when you are present.

BhearNOW · 25/09/2014 21:14

She is clearly threatened by you some how or jealous - take it as a - compliment - she thinks you are better, more favoured that her or something - that is why she is trying to take you down....be flattered but keep away rise above it - she is insecure, anxious and toxic - keep away. Everyone knows it - feel pity for her not anger - it is a much more liberating feeling for you. Dont bother to try to see reason in her irrational behavior - it is not possible and will drive you nuts eventually.

gertiegusset · 25/09/2014 21:17

Well it would certainly naff me off if my SiL was trying to shit stir.
Maybe you should just ask her outright why she thought your DH was at home when he wasn't and why she thought someone was up to something.
And drop in that you thought she was at the hospital.

Whereisegg · 25/09/2014 21:20

All the people that are telling you things she has said about you...what do you think they are telling her about you?

gertiegusset · 25/09/2014 21:21

I hate all that 'take it as a compliment' stuff, like when you're a kid and your Mum's mates kid copies you and your Mum tells you to 'Take it as a compliment'.
I wanted to fucking KILL that kid.

hormonalandneedingcheese · 25/09/2014 21:53

She sounds like a shit stirrer, just ignore and don't engage.

BhearNOW · 25/09/2014 22:12

gertie - "take it like a compliment" gives you the inner power /smugness to rise above it and not get dragged down to engage in the irrational depths of the toxic person......also it is others saying it is her problem not yours - in this case everyone else validates that fact - so there is no need or in fact any benefit for the OP to get embroiled.

BlackeyedSusan · 25/09/2014 22:28

I can see why he wants to report it... if he is worried she is stalking you.

depends the circumstances, and the number of times etc.

I would certainly namechange on here regularly.

or start strange threads to see if she picks up on them.

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