To really think it is time we get a better understanding of what social workers actually do!?

[TalkingPoint]

I read so many posts on here saying I have been referred to social services, or someone is threatening to refer me, etc, and then these people are understandably filled with fear that their children will be removed.
I have worked with social services for over 15 years, in that time I have met good and bad social workers (as with any profession) but I have never met one who doesn't care. I have had the pleasure of working with some of the most committed, dedicated and wonderful people absolutely dedicated to positive outcomes for children. Children are only removed in extreme circumstances where no other resolution can be reached. In the following bit I am talking about families in need of extra help - not cases of extreme abuse and purposeful neglect which is a very different thing!

A referral to social services doesn't mean someone is a bad parent, it means that for some reason at that point in time they need some extra help and than can be achieved through extra support in school, play therapy, family counselling etc. Social workers deal with a multitude of issues and have access to a wide range of interventions. A parent(s) can be struggling due to a short term external influence such as divorce, a death,, illness etc, and need the help, but unwilling to ask or access help due to stigma. We need to remove the stigma attached so more people feel able to access 'early help' services and limiting risk of damage further on.

AIBU to think we demonise social workers to quickly actually they have a lot to offer to help. A person may refer another person to social services but this is most often out of love and worry and not knowing what else to do. Accepting the help of social services in times of difficulty shouldn't be seen as a sign of weakness but as one of strength, recognising that something isn't quite right and wanting to make it better?

I think you are right about that namechanger, thats what I mean, though not stated very eloquently, we need to take steps to 'rebrand' these agencies as ones of help and support.

I think you can blame the media for a lot of scaremongering. Esp the Daily Fail. They never report on the positive aspect of things, the good things these agencies do..only the bad stories. Many people don't realise that it isn't all about child protection and demonising parents, but they can and are also there to advise etc. It's like many things the media demonise. Only bad news travels fast and is of any interest to them! Once something has a scar to its name it's a hard thing to shift unfortunately. A bit like immunisations and the MMR jab as well.

It is very nice that you have only come across the good side of social services and people referring.

Like all other people there are good ones and bad ones. You don't hear about the good ones often they just carry on doing what they do. The bad ones, the incompetent ones or the stupid ones are the ones reported on and there are these also. This needs bringing to light and dealing with to stop mistakes happening.

There are also plenty of people who deliberately make malicious false allegations that social services have to look into it is not all love and caring.

People get pissed off and frustrated when they are reported several times by the same person maliciously and social services have to look into it but the anonymous reporter is free to do it again. So they get annoyed at being looked at and fractious.

OP have you ever been in the situation of having been referred to SS? I would have said the same as you before I was.

It was horrible (and they were actually nice, and helpful.)

The only thing I can compare it to, or describe it as is to know that as a parent your very very worst fear is losing your child. There are only three ways this can happen; death, kidnap, or by the courts if your parenting is deemed harmful. The last is an artificial situation made necessary because we live in civilised societies; the other two are fears which have been valid since we were animals. They are base, unthinking, instinctive. Our survival as a species would have depended on it. Imagine how you would feel if a doctor told you that your child has an illness, which although they stress that this illness is treatable and they have caught it very early, you know it has a chance to kill your child. Something with a scary name, like meningitis, or cancer. If you can't imagine that scenario, imagine how you feel watching your child almost run into a busy road, or how you would feel if you saw a stranger take their hand in a public place.

It is sickening, your blood runs cold. In this moment you are unable to process "but they're probably fine" "the stranger was trying to help" "lots of people survive this illness". All that you can think about - for days afterwards, for the two one-off examples - is "But what could have happened. We nearly lost her." In the illness or SS example you don't get to think "I'm so glad that didn't happen" because it goes on for longer, even after it is over it might never truly go away.

Illness is probably worse because it is random, but SS involvement at the time feels very random. You are supposed to have control, if you do the right things then nothing bad will happen. The problem is that very often people don't know what the right thing is (in reality most if not all parents are doing the best they know how to do to begin with, so SS involvement is always a shock) and because this primal, instinctive fear drive to protect your child at all costs is in control, you can't think things through rationally. You're probably running on adrenaline which makes it harder to remember or process things you are told. It might be the right thing to accept help, but to accept help you have to admit how bad things are, which feels risky.

I do think social workers do an essential and very very difficult job, and I understand that they are there for the children, not the parents, but I feel it would be extremely helpful to have some kind of advocate for parents alongside to recognise that this is a situation that people often react to in an adverse way because it is really, really extreme, even in a very minor involvement case.

From my own experiences, YABU.

I had input from the SS at one point. They gave me no help or support despite the fact that we were in homeless housing at the time and I have a diagnosis of a severe mental health problem. Instead, they said that if I didn't sort the flat out they'd support the council in having me and my children evicted.

I've known plenty of other people who've had SS involvement too. None of them (to my knowledge) have ever considered that they were helped or supported. Just bullied into things or eventually had their kids taken away.

YANBU!!!

For those who think that Social Workers don't care you're wrong. Let me take you through a day that I endured not so long ago. My first appointment at 9 am (I had already been at my desk for 2 hours recording previous visits) was to interview a 14 year old girl who had been abused by her uncle and then her parents had thrown her out because she was pregnant. Then I moved a mother and 3 children under 10 into a refuge to escape domestic violence. I then spent hours at my desk preparing the countless amount of paperwork needed for my court case the following day. I ended the day at 9.40pm in the local hospital after taking a baby for a child protection medical after a routine home visit revealed bruising. I had been at the hospital since 4, arranging police protection to remove the child, being verbally abused by the parents, arranging an emergency foster placement and delivering the child to it. I got home at 10.30pm and cried.

This is not an unusual day for me or any of my colleagues. We certainly don't do it for the money.

The thing is I don't need SS help.

I have a clean tidy home, which now I'm on the mend is back up to my high standards. The DC have clean bedding weekly.
There is always good in the cupboards.
Always go to school in clean tidy uniform.
I love and adore them, we spend a lot of time having fun.

The only reason someone would ever report me is out of spite.

i dont like strangers in my home. it makes me panic.

i really dont need the stress of a SS visit, because i woukdnt know who reported me, i woukd be forever paronoid.

The thing is I don't need SS help.

I have a clean tidy home, which now I'm on the mend is back up to my high standards. The DC have clean bedding weekly.
There is always good in the cupboards.
Always go to school in clean tidy uniform.
I love and adore them, we spend a lot of time having fun.

The only reason someone would ever report me is out of spite.

i dont like strangers in my home. it makes me panic.

i really dont need the stress of a SS visit, because i woukdnt know who reported me, i woukd be forever paronoid.

YANBU. My experience when I worked for Social Services; most of the outcomes were really positive. I do understand that coming into someone's home, when they know you are looking around for signs that things aren't working, is horribly stressful. It is really hard when someone is worried about being judged, being told what to do, being punished. Most of the SWs I know are really good at putting people at their ease. I hope I was as good as I could be.

It would really help if people understood that if funding for SS gets cut further and further, the 'carrots' of help and support, respite and cleaning and care etc. are the first to go. The 'sticks' of removal and the Police and all the frightening stuff remain because ultimately SS have to preserve life and limb.

Controversially perhaps but it shocks me that some children are kept with their families.

But, I have read enough stories about children removed from parents after hospital visits to make me wary at best.

My son has educational difficulties. We (happily married, normal family) were advised by school to make an appt with SS to raise the issue that son would be vulnerable in the workplace etc and to raise awareness of this as he moved forward.

Made appt, went, chatted to nice lady about our concerns. Basically told to go away, we were 'middle class' enough to provide support for him ourselves.

Cheers for that.

SS, I do treat you with the contempt you deserve. You are an ineffective body at best.

Jasmine Beckford, Victoria Climbie, Baby P, Daniel Pelka...
Social workers, wastes of blood and organs, every last one of them.
That is all.

I think part of the problem is that when SS do an amazing job, the resulting 'success' is still a tragedy for all concerned. A child may be in care suffering from the lifelong effects of abuse, neglect and separation and this is the best outcome. It's always a fucking tragedy.

The public never hear about these 'successes'- and nor should they. However, this leaves most people's perception of SS formed by either their own or friends' involvement which is often painful and traumatic, or by media coverage of SS' failures.

My dd's sw is lovely (she is sectioned in an adolescent hospital) and works more hours than I could ever do. I really admire her for the job she does. Yes some of the system is unfair but don't blame those on the front line!

admityouknowimright Yes, I admit I know you are right
Get straight back on it, with an LD SW your son will have doors open to him in the future that you will struggle to access without one.

Until other government agencies, and indeed other social service departments, stop using children's services as a threat, there is little point in trying to tell people ss are not the boogy monster.

It's a convenient threat to get compliance. And it's disgusting that this happens, yet a sad reality. Lazy, short sighted and cruel.

That's so true and what happened to me. Adult services used child services to punish me for going against them. Thankfully child services were more professional and saw it for what it was. I'm now being treated for PTSD as a consequence.

I've found every SW I have ever came in contact with (and there have been many due to the issues surrounding by DSSs Mum) to be nice enough but completely ineffectual and far to willing to believe everything they are told without question.

AdmitYouKnowImRight I would have been the adults with LDs worker you needed. It's possibly not that you are 'middle-class' enough to meet his needs. It could be that your area has enough money to meet the needs of shit-someone-is-going-to-die and not could-be-a-concern-but-isn't-currently. There are levels of need and there is money/SW time. The money/SW time is there to cover the most serious and life threatening needs first. If you are lucky enough to live in an area with a lot of money or one with fewer people with needs, great! You will get more support. If you are in an area with high needs and low money, the need has to be serious and current.

Bear in mind that the average SW will have multiple cases on their books where there is a risk of death, serious harm, life-threatening abuse or neglect at any one time.

"Jasmine Beckford, Victoria Climbie, Baby P, Daniel Pelka" understand that these dreadful tragedies, failures by all involved as they were, could be one of several cases a SW is juggling. All of which could result in death, abuse, neglect.

It is difficult to describe to someone who hasn't worked in this environment how stressful this is. You carry the weight of responsibility for all those people's lives. I know why people fear, mistrust and dislike SWs. By all means think of a better system and make it work. If you can make all the issues disappear, no one will cheer more than SWs.