To ask you if you would/if you did put your teenage daughters on contraception "just in case"

[PleaseLetMeCuddleTheGuineaPig]

regardless of whether they wanted it or not?

Just curious if that actually happens. My parents never did it to me, I made my own decision to go on the pill myself when I wanted to and they supported that decision. I also don't think I know of anyone in real life who did this.

But it seems to be a common theme online on other parenting forums (I've never seen it on here though) where posters will claim that their teenage daughter will be put on the pill/implant/injection at such and such an age or they were put on at that age. Often they will already have the contraceptive method already picked out for them . A lot of them also say that their daughter will not get a choice in the matter.

Admittedly most of these are actually American based forums and most users are American. I'm not sure if that has anything to do with it, although I think it might as (and correct me if I'm wrong) there is no equivilant of the Gillick competence/Fraser guidelines over there. However I have seen it on a British forum before.

I wonder though if people actually really do that or if it's just some online thing that people say they do but don't really do it (and yes I realise I'm still asking online).

Is this something you will do/have done? Even if she hadn't asked you about contraception would you try to convince her that it's the best thing to do even if she's not keen?

Tbh I can't see myself ever doing this.

I think I'd rather drum dangers, precautions, consequences and realities into their skulls than make them have contraception... Maybe thats just me.

Some experiences of the injection on this thread including mine I would never have it again and its not recommended for young women.

www.mumsnet.com/Talk/am_i_being_unreasonable/2191078-To-ask-if-my-GP-can-refuse-to-prescribe-the-pill-for-me

Well i'd never put my dd on contraception, but i would take her to the family planning clinic if she requested it. and i'd let her make her own fully informed choices.

My mother tried to get me on the pill at 14, I walked all over her 10x over and it caused us to drift further apart. She didn't even get to make the appointment because I went skitz about it, I wasn't sexually active at the time and felt like I was being undermined, judged and not believed. When I became sexually active I put on my big girl panties, took a bus to the sexual health clinic and armed myself with 50 condoms and 3 months of cerazette. Just make sure your daughter is capable of doing that. Don't force her onto the pill,injection or anything else. It'll do more harm than good.

I'm from America and I don't hear about this happening much outside of trafficking circle. I know pimps will take their girls in and have them checked out and put on contraceptive.

But, I will not be forcing DD on any contraceptive. It's a foreign substance going into your body and you have no idea how it's going to affect someone until you try it. There's no point in risking irritating side effects if they're not even sexually active.

More importantly, if she's not mature enough to be thinking about birth control, she's not mature enough to be having sex. I will be talking to her about it, and I will be telling her doctor that whatever form she chooses I'm fine with and I will sit in the waiting room while they discuss the types and practicalities of it. But I don't want her to be pressured into getting something if she doesn't want it or need it.

That said, if she gets pregnant, and she wasn't on any thing, we're going to have words. Lots of words.

Hopefully though, when she's a teen a little "mom voice" will stick in her head about waiting until she finds the right man and using protection. In my ideal world she'll wait until she's out of high school to start fooling around. But realistically, I'm not sure how much I can be able to hope for that.

Her body, her choice - and absent a court order, you won't get a GP forcibly requiring a girl to take contraception! That said, fine to raise with daughter and see if she would like contraception on a 'just in case' basis (with the usual health warnings re STIs etc)

Maybe I'm going slightly against the grain here, but I definitely encouraged DD to go on the pill when she got her first serious boyfriend. She was almost 17 and wanted to sleep at his house. She said that she wasn't going to have sex.

I pointed out that first time sex rarely happens when you are planning for it to happen, and that though she should always use condoms, the pill is more reliable as a back up. She made an appointment at the doctors and went on her own.

To be honest it's a bit of a weight off my mind. She's almost 19 and has had 2 boyfriends in that time, who have slept over at our house. I am happy that my daughter is having safe protected sex in her own bed, rather than fumbling about on the back seat of a car somewhere and taking the morning after pill, which has been the experience of a couple of her friends.

I did insist that hormonal, miserable, very spotty, weepy over nothing for 2 weeks out of every 4 17 year old DD made an appointment to see the GP, and took her to it (DD's choice that I came in with her).

I strongly suspected that the GP would suggest the Pill and would have asked about it if she hadn't. And would have strongly advised DD to try it if she hadn't wanted to (she did want to and it's worked wonders).

But "forced" and "put her on"? Heck no.

Thinking about it, my view is probably coloured by my best mate having an abortion at 18. I genuinely think it ruined her life, she was so different and... broken afterwards. I couldn't bear for one of my girls to go through that.

Random, I'm a bit concerned about the amount of people you know who were given contraception that their mothers wanted them to have. Its really bad practice give any one contraception without seeing them on their own.
Someone mentioned safe guarding further up the thread and for me, in my practice, coercion to use contraception could be an indication of coercion to have sex and that would be a reason to start child protection mechanisms.

Difficult question.
DD has a cousin whose DM was 15.
But i think condoms more important due to STIs.
However i struggled to get pg, at 29/30 and that in its own way is a bad as being a teenager mum.
Pill has side effects - i didnt get on with it. It can permanently reduce sex drive. But also improves PCOS. But would also mask symptoms that may cause infertility and deplete B vitamins.

That would be very unlucky for both pill and condoms to fail.

I think the stats mean 3/100 get pg per year using condoms properly and 1 with the pill so does that make 3/10000 a year with both.
But i think 3 a year is not that low if you use them for 20yrs...

But 20% couples would get pg a month using nothing so most in a couple of months, that is what should be focussed on.

People forcing their daughters to have the implant is horrendous! Something that long-term with potentially awful side effects should not be given when the person has no choice. I had the implant for 18 months and I begged the doctor to remove it because it was ruining my life. I was spotty, I was bleeding for weeks at a time with maybe a week or two in between and my moods were absolutely foul. I was temperamental and moody, and my jealousy and erratic behaviour almost ended the three year relationship that I was in at the time (it ended later because he left me for the girl I was jealous about, ironically).

No, I wouldn't. I would make sure she had good sex education and ensure she knew her options.

Both mine asked me about contraception that doesn't require them to remember - 18yo DD now has the implant and 16yo DD had a coil fitted. Their choice after discussions with me and the family planning nurse - I was amazed that they'll allow you to have the coil before you have had children (it's changed since my day!) and whilst she didn't enjoy having it fitted she's been fine on it.

We have regular chats about how neither of those protect you from STIs and the importance of condoms but they are both sensible and I trust them to make sensible choices.

BUT I would never 'force' them to have any form of contraception. That's bloody awful

My GP put me on the pill to regulate my barmy periods. I didn't have sex until 4 years later! I know this isn't what you're talking about, but do need to point out that giving a girl contraception doesn't force her to become sexually active

Can't remember when I went on the pill, think I was about 18 and I was quite honest with my Mum but it was 100% my choice and I made it happen. I am the oldest child and we didn't really talk all that much openly about sex? (thankfully my folks were a lot more open with my younger siblings)

My daughter hasn't been born yet so I cannot even begin to comprehend there will be a time this will be something we'll talk about but I hope when we get there then we'll be in a good place to talk openly without embarrassment (or me "forcing" anything on my daughter)

No. Especially not long-term stuff like the jab or implant.

OMG no! I'm educating them about relationships, sex etc as they grow. It was something my mum always made clear was my responsibility and my body. I hope I can do the same!

A lot of people don't seem to understand that as parents we have no rights over our children's reproductive choices. As long as a person is over 13 and has capacity to consent, thats it - parental input can't trump the patient's wishes. Its desirable that the young person has discussed it with their parents, and encouraging that is part the protocol you have to go through to establish competency but at the end of the day you can only give treatment that is in the competent child consents to. If they don't capacity to consent to treatment then they don't have the capacity to consent to sex and in that case they need a lot more protection than contraception.

I think I would possibly suggest it to them if they were suffering heavy and/or painful periods - but frogmarching them to a gum clinic or GP? No, not ethical. And no decent GP would perscribe in those circumstances.