To ask you if you would/if you did put your teenage daughters on contraception "just in case"

[PleaseLetMeCuddleTheGuineaPig]

regardless of whether they wanted it or not?

Just curious if that actually happens. My parents never did it to me, I made my own decision to go on the pill myself when I wanted to and they supported that decision. I also don't think I know of anyone in real life who did this.

But it seems to be a common theme online on other parenting forums (I've never seen it on here though) where posters will claim that their teenage daughter will be put on the pill/implant/injection at such and such an age or they were put on at that age. Often they will already have the contraceptive method already picked out for them . A lot of them also say that their daughter will not get a choice in the matter.

Admittedly most of these are actually American based forums and most users are American. I'm not sure if that has anything to do with it, although I think it might as (and correct me if I'm wrong) there is no equivilant of the Gillick competence/Fraser guidelines over there. However I have seen it on a British forum before.

I wonder though if people actually really do that or if it's just some online thing that people say they do but don't really do it (and yes I realise I'm still asking online).

Is this something you will do/have done? Even if she hadn't asked you about contraception would you try to convince her that it's the best thing to do even if she's not keen?

Tbh I can't see myself ever doing this.

No- I would expect them to be mature enough to make their own decisions.

I wouldn't do it. What about STIs?

I want my DD to have sex because she wants to in the context of making a fully informed, fully consensual choice in a safe environment with a person whose behaviour indicates that they respect that choice, whether that's a one-night stand or a long-term relationship.

The pill is a wonderful invention for many women. I do not think it is the most appropriate contraception for teenage girls, who should be thinking about far more than pregnancy at this stage - primarily do they actually want to have sex. The trouble with the pill in girls who aren't particularly well educated about issues around consent and sexual safety is that the pill can often seem to remove some of the validity of saying "no".

I was on contraception, still caught pregnant(im 15) but not the point my mother never put me on contraception. You need to arm your daughter with the knowledge of safe sex, STI'S, the importance of both condoms AND the pill/injection/whatever because it doesn't protect against STI's.

Blimey no. I have discussed this with my DD in the last couple of years (she is 18) because she occasionally has bad period pains and I suggested she go see the doctor and maybe think about the pill for that reason. But so far she hasn't and it is obviously her decision.

I strongly believe if my mother had put me on contraception, particularly at some vulnerable stages in my life I wouldn't have had the experience of sourcing contraception for myself having to do research on every contraceptive I could think of and making decisions about my own health as opposed to being taken to the GP and having my mother make choices about what goes on between my legs without me. The experiences I had made me feel alot safer, more independent, more in control of my own health and empowered me to make my own choices regarding my medical care and health.
This is a personal experience to me, my health and my relationship with my mother everyone IS different, I still wouldn't do it though.

I would see this as completely violating my daughter. Is this even legal? I can see the need to compel children to take medicine necessary for their health, but to force her to take medication that will mess with her hormones, could cause mood/physical changes for a non-essential purpose just seems crazy. I would want to have an open honest dialogue with her and support her if she did choose to go on contraceptives, but its positively draconian to suggest forcing her. How are we supposed to teach our young women to respect and own their bodies if we treat them like this?!

I think it would depend greatly on my daughter. I really hope that when we hit teenage years we'll still have a close relationship and that she'll be able to tell me if she's is considering being sexually active or not (or if it comes up in one of those birds n bees type conversations). If she's able to tell me that I would discuss the importance of contraception with her and we would go to the doctors together, she could get the info on what contraceptives she could take and make her own decision on what she wanted.

I wouldn't force it on her if she wasn't sexually active however, or decide what contraceptive she should go on without her input, it's her choice to make and her body.

All any of us can really hope is that we've got a close enough relationship with our child that they'd be able to talk to us about it, and they'll be wise enough to know the risks.

It wouldn't happen here. Even if a girl of 14/15/16 has very profound learning difficulties, she could not be put on contraception just because her parents wanted her to be - it would involve a multi-agency panel.

The US is a totally different country, with some moral/ethical precepts that I do not understand.

I would/have spoken to my DC about contraception, and would help them obtain it if they needed my help. But it is their bodies and their choice.

I have also made clear my DC realise that no form of contraception is 100% effective (I could even point out the children to prove it). And I don't just mean forgetting to use.

Mummytime: RAISES HAND
Condoms and the pill, 16 weeks pregnant i'm living proof there is ALWAYS a risk.
Of course they can't force contraception on their children, not literally. Not in the UK anyway, I think this is more about parents who demand there children do then take them down to the doctors under the guise of period control or there child planning to having a sexual relationship and down to their parents demands the children go along with it. I know that to be true from peers in some cases, I THINK thats what the OP is getting at.

No never.
But speak to them about contraception, one night stands, boyfriends, pregnancy etc.

Well my GPs wouldn't prescribe without seeing the young person by themselves, and if they thought they were being coerced it would be a "Safe guarding" issue.

But to be honest, the amount of effort it took to persuade my then 15 year old to have some blood tests - I wonder who these compliant teens are.

Condoms, condoms, condoms. And more condoms.

Got an STI at 15 cause i was on the pill and thought not getting pregnant was the most important thing.

My mum took me to the docs when I was 16 and had my first boyfriend to be put on the pill. We never discussed it and thinking back (I'm 40) it was an extremely embarrasing time. However, I must have understood her motives at the time as my sister was pregnant at 16 and she didn't want the same happening to me. Although my sister also had the pill just didn't bother taking it!

She went about it all wrong and I would not do that to my own DC, DS1 is 18 and we have discussed contraception at length. I have two daughters and would hope to talk about it openly so they could make the decision for themselves.

I agree with Random that some parents use the guise of period control to have their daughters put on the pill.

IMO the women who do it to their daughters are sending mixed messages, If you can't trust your daughter to handle getting her own contraception when she feels ready how can you trust her to say no to sex if she doesn't feel ready?

Could also backfire horribly. If your DD feels that she is being undermined by her parent/s when it comes to her own sexual health (I personally would have) she may well go out doing all and sundry to "prove" she is adult enough to make the choices that come after contraception. I've seen that a lot too.

If she isn't old enough to get her own contraception she's too young for sex. Simple as.

You basically just said what I said. MoominKoalaAndMiniMoom Couldn't agree more.

Er, unless you are a doctor, you can't "put your daughter on contraception". If she's old enough to need contraception, she is old enough to have absolute bodily autonomy in regards medical and sexual health decisions, unless she suffers from some condition which makes it impossible to seek her own medical advice. I would absolutely support my soon-teenage daughter to access contraception if she felt she needed it, but it would not be my business to 'put' her on it, or in any other way to try and enforce medical procedures/prevent medical procedures on another Gillick competent individual. I am absolutely shocked that anyone could think otherwise, really.

No way. Condoms are more effective at protecting the spread of STIs and I would encourage them to use them but hormonal contraception is something they would have to choose for themselves.

Asking them to be safe and talking about positive consent, contraception and abortion is a better way to go.

On the contrary woodlice, IT IS possible and I know of a few girls it has happened to. Usually they are coerced to some degree, GP's are also lied to. Mostly (that I know of) mothers say its for period control and the girls are put on the pills with the one week break to make "Periods easier" Ive also known of women going to family planning clinics to get the pill for "Themselves" then giving it to there daughters (Which is illegal I think) There are many ways around it woodlice. most doctors are vigilant about this kind of stuff, But if a mother and daughter go to the GP or SH clinic together and the mother does all of the talking on behalf of DD and DD just nods, smiles and repeats what her mother says it is unlikely she will be refused the pill.

Some women will even buy it online and give it to their daughters there are many ways around it. Very sad and definitely unethical but it does happen.

No. I will not force my daughters to ingest synthetic hormones 'just in case'. I will educate them and make them aware of the possible consequences. If, when they are old enough to make their own decisions regarding their healthcare, they opt for it then it's their decision.

If I were in a situation where I was concerned that they were having unprotected sex I would probably throw all my beliefs out the window and bribe them to have the contraceptive injection. Better me being a bad parent than them being a child parent.

I don't know about anyone else's DDs but it would literally be impossible to force my teen DDs to take the pill unless they wanted to.

Its a two man job to get the cat to take its medicine and my DDs are way more feisty than the cat.