To be upset at leaving my job

[harverina]

I love my job. I work part time and have done since dd1 was born. Before that I worked full time. Now that we have dd2 I cant afford to work in my job because child care costs are so high. We are really struggling. We used to have more help from the dd's grandparents but due to health/distance that's no longer possible.

I know I chose to have children. I love my children. That goes without saying. But I have worked hard in my career and I am having to give it up which makes me feel very sad

I think I am in a relatively well paid job for where I live. How do people who earn less manage?

I'm sorry you are feeling so low - I hope your DP/DH is sympathetic x

This is the reason my DS will be an only child, we couldn't afford childcare for two and I'm not prepared to give up work.

It's a shitty situation all round

Dh is very supportive.

The plus is that I will have a couple of years with my children which will be amazing. I am applying to register as a childminder too.

It is disgusting how people can't afford to work in the UK because childcare costs are so high.

Many people justify staying in work because once the kids are in school, it does pay off. You will have progressed in your career during that time (hopefully). Most people who leave will find it hard to get back into work at the same level as when they left 5-7 years down the line.

Is it different in other countries? Is Childcare more affordable? Thing is, childminders, nannies etc don't earn a lot so what is the solution?

I am in the type or job that I am likely to be able to apply for a similar post in a couple of years...BUT the thought of going through the interview process again worries me now!! I have been looking at promoter posts recently - taking time out will set me back considerably I don't plan on taking as long as 5/7 years. I'm thinking more 2/3 years as dd1 will be in school by then.

Sorry OP. When you work that setting becomes a huge part of your life, it's difficult leaving (when you like your job) under good circumstance s, let alone these.

Childcare is subsidised a lot more by the state in many other European countries.

How short are you each month? Is there any slack that can be cut from.elsewhere?

haverina Yes. Colleagues come from other European countries where you might spend a few hundred pounds per child on childcare not the thousand or so people do over here.

To add: cost of living in the UK is very high. So while you may think child minders/nannies don't earn a lot because everything here costs so much (it always starts with house prices!)… the typical nanny salary here in the UK is ridiculously high for someone outside of the UK.

I've just tried going back to work after a year on maternity leave and like you I have realised the childcare costs are too high for me to do so. We were much better off when I wasn't working. So I'm having to give notice to my childcarers so that I can stop working. In the meantime I'm having to fork out £300+ a week in childcare fees for 3 children two of which are school age. I to am considering becoming a childminder.

We could probably make sacrifices to save money. But the other aspect is do I want to work in a stressful and demanding job for less than £40 per day?! Because that is roughly what I earn once all of my deductions and Childcare comes off.

Beautician I have been back for 6 weeks now.

There is the option of applying for a career break - if they said yes to that then I would feel far far better about leaving.

But £40 a day pay and a job you love and job security.

Theres many a poster on here who became SAHMs and are finding it almost impossible to get back into work.

Do you have other benefits - are you accruing pension for example? What are your prospects for pay rises or future progression? If you're a beautician coukd you do some evening or weekend work to keep up to date?

As a PP said - this is why my DS will be an only child. I keep buying lottery tickets go! Completely get your feeling - it's not a nice choice.

Have you looked at potential tax credits etc? There are people in here who know far more than me... unfortunately we are nowhere near eligible. Sigh.

But the other aspect is do I want to work in a stressful and demanding job for less than £40 per day

I would stay in work for that if you really like the job and don't want to lose out on promotion opportunities.

Not eligible for tax credits etc.

I am a social worker, not a beautician - but the possibility of some self employed work is a possibility so that I remain registered. And it would keep me up to date with policies/legislation etc.

£40 a day is to cover food, petrol, clothes, travel for dh...everything on top of the main bills. So it's not enough.

Look at the bigger picture before you leave.

Yes it's bloody tough. I remember nearly crying when I realised what I bought home covered the child minders fees and the car to get me to work. However before I knew it the children were at school. I had continuous services my job ( which meant a bigger pay out in the event of a redundancy)
Also my pension contributions continued and I wasn't starting from scratch looking for work once the children started school. Keep going to work kept me up to date in the business.

Also I enjoyed going to work. I liked the social aspect of it and of course it was great getting back to the kids!

OP, a career break sounds like a very good option.

I'm on career break at the moment (slightly more complex reason, we emigrated temporarily to live near DH's family and for me to do a Masters, but for large parts of the time I was a SAHM)

I discovered I'm not cut out to be a SAHM full time. And money has been right on one salary (with the childcare costs of both parents working as I've been at Uni), but knowing that I was on career break and the job was "there to go back to" has been a huge relief.

YADNBU to feel sad about leaving. Even with the adventure we had ahead of us, and knowing I'd finally get to do my Masters, I was very sad going on career break - and to being "reliant" on DH for money etc when I had always earned.

Prospects for progression are ok - there aren't many promoted jobs just now though. I am in a pension scheme, yes.

Are you sure you are not entitled to tax credits?

You a -dont take thistle wrong way - only a social worker, not the head of a business empire.

Haha!! Yes I am sure we are not eligible - maybe as a cm I would be. I think as a couple we earn too much?

Sorry for the short posts I am breastfeeding dd at the same time!!

The lack of earnings wouldn't bother me too much if we weren't relying on my earnings as a family to live. I would be willing to keep working for very little if it meant I kept my job. But as a family we would be much better off if I managed to be only half full as a childminder.

But surely you pool your earnings and expenditure with your DH, so the childcare costs come from household income as opposed to solely from your wage? By the way, someone working 7 hours per day on minimum wage earns just over £44 per day before childcare costs are deducted, so I honestly think that if you earn almost that per day after childcare costs then you're doing quite well. I'd stick with it, personally. Play the long game.

Yes we pool our earnings - but dh's earnings pretty much just cover all of the main bills like the mortgage, council tax, car, gas, electricity etc.

Surely people on minimum wage cannot afford childcare?