To be upset at leaving my job

[harverina]

I love my job. I work part time and have done since dd1 was born. Before that I worked full time. Now that we have dd2 I cant afford to work in my job because child care costs are so high. We are really struggling. We used to have more help from the dd's grandparents but due to health/distance that's no longer possible.

I know I chose to have children. I love my children. That goes without saying. But I have worked hard in my career and I am having to give it up which makes me feel very sad

I think I am in a relatively well paid job for where I live. How do people who earn less manage?

Just to add, I understand that we are in a very fortunate position in so many respects - we own our own home in a nice area, have a car, eat well (not extravagant but ykwim), the children have nice warm clothes, they have toys etc.

So I am not pleading poverty at all. We could cut back on things I am sure.

How long until your oldest goes to school? If you can push on for a few years then you'll only have after school care and you'll have stayed in your job, kept your pension, sickness benefits etc and not de-skilled.

£40 a day is what, £800 a month!?

Not to be sniffed at.

People on minimum wage often get tax credits and nearly always take home less than 40 per day after childcare and travel expenses have been deducted. For you, it's only for a few years, for some people it's forever.

I work 3 days per week so it's around £500 per month in a 4 week month. Not to be sniffed at, I know it could be worse.

I know if I added my pension etc it would equate to more but I am referring to what we actually have to live on.

It's a real quandary. I am excited at the prospect of being with my dd's more of course but will miss work - I love my job and I also love the social aspect of it too.

Yes I appreciate that it's not forever and that when the girls are both in school we will be far better off.

I suppose I need to weigh up the options and what is best overall for us as a family. Yes we would keep going with me working and being extra careful with money, cutting out any extras etc. Or I could become a cm and earn more and spend time with the girls at the same time.

Surely it's a win win situation? So why do I feel so torn?!

£500 a month is a lot. Seriously.

I earn quite a good wage and over half my salary goes on childcare. Another £500 would make a huge difference.

That's a lot of money to lose a month.

I'm guessing you don't enjoy your job much and this is a good excuse to stop.....

Do you work a full day for £40? That's very low for SW wages if you do.

I was going to suggest going part-time but I see you already have.
As a CM you are pretty much tied to the house, with your own 2 plus your mindees. The number and age of your own children determine the number and age of children you can mind. Are you sure this is what you want?

If you want to be a CM go for it! Other things to consider are do you benefit from getting out of the house and do your DC benefit from formal childcare? Personally I like getting out a few days a week!

I think I would stick at your job if you can but I understand that a job in your field must be pretty stressful.

I am a Beautician as the name suggests and so not on a very good wage. After childcare in a full time job 44 hours per week we are £100 a week better off. I would rather have the time with my children and work a combination of childminding and a few beauty treatments mobile and earn that extra per week with more hours spent at home. My situation is entirely different to yours. My DH has a good job but works away for a lot of the time. Certain jobs are therefore of limits to me as I have no childcare after 6pm.

No iggly I love my job. That's the issue! If I didn't particularly like it then I would be happy to leave.

I would be far better off financially being a cm so I wouldn't be losing out if I left my job and worked as a cm full time. I think I would enjoy it to an extent - I love kids but I don't think I will enjoy it the same way I enjoy my current role. It will be very different. But I will get to spend so much more time with my own dc - yes a long with mindees too so not the same as me being a sahm with loads of time on my hands. I am not underestimating how hard being a cm will be.

I agree - it's good to have some time away though I am always desperate to get home to see my dd's.

The £40 is after all deductions including child care.

Men just don't have the same issues do they?

What I mean is - £500 is a lot of money but it's not a lot when it is to cover lots of different outgoings - as a cm I could earn £800 per month minding one full time child with no Childcare costs. I would hope to mind more children than that but my point is, I wouldn't have to be totally stretched to earn a good bit more.

If both you and Dh get 243 in childcare vouchers you save 70 in tax (if over £34k you can do 124 and save 50 in tax) so that could be £140 also. Can you cut sky? When you're out you save electricity and heating too.

I would have stayed in my job for £40 a day. With two children in an Edinburgh nursery it was going to COST me money to go to work.

Don't give up if you love it.

Many of us 'only' earn around £40 a day (I know I do but no childcare/commuting costs - and no pension) but to me it is worth it; I would seriously consider just sticking it out for the next couple of years - it is so much harder to get back into the job market if you have a break - I was a SAHM for over 12 years and loved it but returning to a well paid job similar to the one I left is practically impossible.

Is that £800 a month after the costs of being a CM are factored in? E.g. equipment, food for minders, toddler groups etc etc?

I think by looking at it on a daily basis you're belittling the £500 a month. That's £6k a year! A few decent holidays, days out etc from that.

how hard is social working to get back into once you have your career break? if it is hard, then I would advise, stick with it,
you could earn X amount as a child minder but you might not.

i gave up a job with 2 children as i would have £50 per week, in restrospect I found it hard to get back into my preferred sector but you are talking £40 per day.
have you handed in your notice?

It's quite insulting to say 'only £40 per day' after all deductions and childcare!!!

So many people earn that before deductions.

Remember your DC will be eligible for early years funding from the term after they are 3. That will cut your childcare bill BEFORE they go to school. The period of childcare being so scarily high (and 500 after childcare is not to be sniffed at anyway) is only short. If you love your job and leaving would really set you back career wise, I would really stick it out.

For what it's worth I had a lot less than 500 left a month when my DC were small and I am very glad I kept working - I'm now exactly where I want to be career wise and have great future options. No way would I be here now if I'd taken a couple of years out when the DC were small.

Would it be a bad idea for your DH to be the one to give up work after your maternity leave is over? Doesn't have to be you by default surely.

Just throwing an idea out there, haven't RTFT so sorry if it's been dealt with already!

THe pension could be hugely important to you later on. Public sector pensions are still very good deals.