To allow my almost 11 year old Year 6 child to go to the library to do his homework

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Ds goes to school approx 5 mins walk from the town centre. Tonight he needed to go to the library to pick up a pre reserved book & I needed to go to Boots.

We had an hour to kill as its not worth going home before he has to go to football training. He hates shopping so suggested I leave him at the library doing his homework whilst I went to Boots.

We took the book out st the automated machine & I left him at the library at a children only study/reading table. When I got back approx 15 mins later he was totally immersed in his homework.

The library assistant then called me over & started to tell me that I should not leave him alone at the library as it isn't safe. People who may not have good intentions might approach him etc etc.
I gave her the benefit of the doubt thinking she might have assumed he was younger than he is. I told her he was year 6 & this time next year would be in secondary & making his own way to. & from there.

She said that made no difference, it wasn't safe & you can't even leave children alone at home under the age of 14 (which I know is rubbish).

When dd was in year 6 she used to walk to the town library alone to take books out or to nip to costa during a break at dancing. She is now 12 & cycles to our local one every week, alone.

I can't believe that suddenly on the day they start secondary children are suddenly deemed responsible enough to go to & from school alone.

Am I so wrong to try & build this up, leaving him for short periods/allowing him to walk to the corner shop/stay at home for 15 mins whilst I pop to the post box etc.

Are children really not allowed to visit libraries alone?

Incidentally the sign said children under 8 must not be left unaccompanied but I didn't see that until afterwards.

I have worked in libraries. Plenty of children came in on their own to use the pcs.

You are being very sensible. Kids are far too mollycoddled these days.

Maybe she was thinking of all the tramps that go in to keep warm!

You are giving DS the tools to become an independent, responsible and self motivated young man. Congratulations!
Of course the assistant was BVU.

I think it is a bit over the top BUT I expect she has to serve some very dodgy characters at times and was only looking out for your son

We visit the library weekly & I've never seen anyone 'dodgy' looking

But anyway I've been looking at the library bylaws & it states that no person having charge of a child shall leave them Unsupervised without the express permission of a library officer.

In the definitions section a 'child' is defined as anyone under 16 years.

Ridiculous!!

YANBU!

I've left my DC in the library on several occasions since they were 10 & 7 respectively. Like yours it's a small suburb on the outskirts of a city.

Generally it was for about 20 minutes while i nipped to the bank or to get some shopping but i have NEVER been told i shouldn't leave them there.

What kind of library does the lady who works there think it is?

What if the child just walks in there though? Nobody had change of them and nobody has left them there. Seems to conflict with the - more reasonable - rule about not leaving under 8s alone to suggest that 15 year olds can't use a library alone

YANBU, I'm a librarian (not in branch) and there are some very old fashioned library assistants who will work to the minimum and we've had problems similar to yours.

We had younger (as well as ill behaved same age) children left in branch as a baby sitting service. We did tell our library assistants to speak with parents, and I am in no doubt that there are some in our service who wield this tiny amount of power over library users.

I'd advise you to speak to the librarian to state your situation, that the library feels very unwelcoming with staff that are totally inflexible and upsetting, and I'm sure the librarians will help all they can.

I think it is fine and encouraging a good attitude to study.

However, I was the victim of would could have been a very nasty incident after someone thought I was much younger than I was - I don't want to elaborate but it was enough for the police to be involved. If someone is looking for somewhere that children will be alone, a library would probably be on the list.

That said, it could have happened anywhere so I don't think libraries are to be avoided by lone children but it is worth going through the stranger danger type stuff you would go through for any other activity.

I can see why they don't want under 8s left- they are not a baby sitting service. It doesn't apply to 10 and 11 yr old children though who are quite likely to go in alone anyway- you don't need your mother to help you choose a book and get it out at that age.

I know several librarians. They talk a lot about parents leaving children unattended in libraries, and they hate it.

I was once told off for leaving a three year old in the toy corner, happily immersed in the building blocks, while I went to the adult section, in a large, open plan, single-floor room.

I don't think kids are allowed to be unsupervised anywhere, now. Period. It's nothing to do with the law. It's just our culture.

And in America, there are always news stories about parents being arrested for things we took for granted as kids.

We can moan about it, but this is the new reality.

I expect it is down to the librarian, and whether they like children in the first place, and the child and whether they are a problem or not.

I'm really shocked the byelaws said under 16!

The person who spoke to you would have been a library assistant not a librarian

You could write in & complain but I think all they'll do is quote the byelaws back at you :(

In my area no such nonsense rules apply
Children under 8 are frowned on I think
We had two boys every Friday night age year 6 using the computers for homework & games and there mum came for them at six pm
They were lovely boys, no problems at all

I think maybe shes been on some sort if child protection course and is being overly vigilant. Id check with a senior librarian or manager and ask him or her to clarify guidance at the next staff meetings.

Probably just grumpy- our library has some lovely, friendly, helpful librarians and some you avoid!

16!

I agree that there is a difference between 'left unsupervised' and a teenager who doesn't need adult supervision in the first place, who has made their own way to the library and will make their own way home.

My 14 year old is fairly independent. He is certainly responsible for his own library loans and reservations, and has been for some time. If we need something from the shops, he goes and gets it (with a mumbled complaint). If he has a doctor's appointment, he takes himself. Off the top of my head, I cannot think of a situation in which I am required by law to accompany him.

I'm guessing those by-laws were brought in to stop disruptive teenagers hanging out in the library, that happened at a branch library near us.

We had no internet (can you believe that) when dd was 10 she and other children went to the libary to get books to look up or use the net in the libary it really is fine op.

I find the ott peotectiveness of older children baffling and sorry for their scared parents