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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

AIBU to make DD put school shoes on her Christmas list?

39 replies

MyballsareSandy · 24/09/2014 16:56

During the summer holidays she talked me into buying Kickers for school - I checked they were allowed and although expensive and rather chunky I agreed she could have them, as I thought they were quite good for a winter shoe and would last.

DD came home today moaning that she hates them, she wishes she had chosen Vans, as everyone else has Vans, and want to go shopping for new school shoes this weekend.

I paid £50 for these shoes and she's expecting me to shell out another £45/50 as she's changed her mind. She thinks I'm being very unreasonable and nasty Shock.

OP posts:
Bulbasaur · 24/09/2014 16:57

My parents gave me base supplies for school. Outfits, shoes, etc.. But everything else I had to buy myself.

How old is she? She can do chores around the house to earn new shoes.

Quangle · 24/09/2014 16:57

I thought you meant school uniform shoes, in which case YABU. But as it's just a fashion thing, YADNBU!

Noodledoodledoo · 24/09/2014 16:59

Check VANS are allowed - at my place they aren't so it might be wasted money again. We have a crack down every few weeks.

Littlef00t · 24/09/2014 17:00

Wow I totally thought ywbu from the title but yadnbu! How old is she out of interest?

LadyLuck10 · 24/09/2014 17:01

Yanbu, this is a very good example of teaching her the value of something. If you just buy it for her, and then something else comes along, what's stopping her from wanting it just like that?
If she realizes that she now has to chip in, it will make her think twice and maybe she will even learn that it's not so important.

MrsHathaway · 24/09/2014 17:02

Ha ha ha YANBU.

Is her name Kevin?

One of the cleverest things my mum ever did was to advise me not to buy new shoes until at least a week into my first term at a new school when I was 16. What I thought I wanted on 31/8 and what I thought I wanted on 2/9 were worlds apart.

IsItMeOr · 24/09/2014 17:05

I would generally think this would be unreasonable - unless you had very strong extenuating circumstances.

In this case, I think you do. She has made an expensive mistake, and now has to live with it.

I might give in though, after checking Vans (whatever they are), are allowed, if she is still quite young. With much teeth-sucking on my part, obviously.

Original poster
MyballsareSandy · 24/09/2014 17:05

She's 13, year 9.

OP posts:
Marmiteandjamislush · 24/09/2014 17:06

YABU to even think of getting her different shoes at all. She made her choice and I'm guessing if she's old enough to notice fashion, will have to like it or or lump it, until she grows out of these or saves up to buy herself other shoes.

LadyLuck10 · 24/09/2014 17:06

Ok at 13 she's old enough. Yanbu.

Original poster
MyballsareSandy · 24/09/2014 17:07

And generally a very good, easy going child, top sets, does her homework ... unlike her sister but that's another thread!

OP posts:
SugarMiceInTheRain · 24/09/2014 17:07

YANBU, My mum would buy me sensible shoes - if I wanted a branded pair, I had to pay for them myself, so I did - by saving up my 10 quid a month pocket money for several months.

Lottieandmia · 24/09/2014 17:07

YANBU - if she changes her mind and you just give in every time it will happen again and again. I would either make her do chores and earn the money to pay for them or Xmas list, yes.

AugustRose · 24/09/2014 17:10

Definitely not unreasonable in this case, I would do the same thing and did when my DS wanted a Superdry jacket (65 at the time) a few years ago. He was 14 and I offered to buy one for his birthday in September, he said no but then changed his mind not long after.

TortoiseUpATreeAgain · 24/09/2014 17:12

YWBU to make her put them on her Christmas list, but YWNBU to tell her that she's not getting them other than as a Christmas present.

AlpacaMyBags · 24/09/2014 17:15

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

IsItMeOr · 24/09/2014 18:18

13 is old enough for you to stand firm. Can she save pocket money?

FranKatzenjammer · 24/09/2014 18:24

YANBU: Vans can be found fairly cheaply at outlet shops, so she can buy her own.

KnackeredMuchly · 24/09/2014 18:31

Yanbu, a second pair of shoes that are fashionable are a luxury. Perfect for a present

HesterShaw · 24/09/2014 18:38

Good grief YANBU! School shoes at that age had to last me the year!

Maybe not for Christmas, but she can buy them herself with birthday/Christmas money or something.

AdmitYouKnowImRight · 24/09/2014 21:04

How times change .... Sunday best coat, best out fit, school shoes, new pencil case all for Christmas.

MrsWinnibago · 24/09/2014 21:06

Why is she allowed to wear Vans at school?

kelper · 24/09/2014 21:09

God, are Kickers back in fashion? I really wanted (and was not allowed) kickers when i was about 13. In 1992! I am going to get myself some kickers (because I'm trying to cure my plantar fasciiltis)

Hulababy · 24/09/2014 21:10

Vans are not school shoes - thought you meant black proper shoes. Vans are fashion shoes - yanbu

mummytime · 24/09/2014 21:10

VANS not allowed at DCs school. If they want fashion shoes then they can be on a Christmas list - or paid for from their own money.

My DD told me she had to have a certain Jack Wills bag for a school trip, as "everyone else" would have one. She simply couldn't take a wheely suitcase. I made her save and she bought it in the sale, of course when I dropped her off for the trip, most people had wheely suitcases.