To want action taken against the teacher?

[Shewhojuggles]

My DD is in y6 and yesterday her teacher threw a book at her in front of the whole class and told her that her work isn't good enough. She came home upset.

The teacher has apologised to her and the Head Teacher has too and said it won't happen again. AIBU to want further action taken? She's demeaned DD in front of her peers and broken the trust that a child (and me) should have in the teacher and her duty of care. I'm absolutely livid

You have received two apologies. Accept them and move on.
It might be worth finding out what standard your child's work was to provoke such a reaction, and help her to improve it.

Talk to your DD about how some adults can act like total arses

Are you saying the teacher acted like a total arse? How you know this is true in this case?

YABU, sounds like DD got a ticking off for laziness, she will be in secondary next year and will have to to toughen up a bit, as will you. You could use this as a valuable learning experience: People do/say things they don't mean in the heat of the moment and we should accept an apology that is meant sincerely.

Ask for the apology in writing.

Then you know it hasn't been hushed up, it will be on HR file and you have proof if there is a further incident of any kind.

I guess it depends if she tried or not. If she handed in utter nonsense and is capable of much better then the teacher is perfectly entitled to point it out. All this praising everything has gone too far if you ask me.

My first response to my dd if she told me this, would be to query why her work wasn't good enough.

Getting it in writing seems good advice. At least you know it hasn't been swept under the carpet. The teacher should not have behaved this way.

The work probably was not good enough and your daughter should face up to that, so don't let the incident distract her away from this point, she needs to pull her socks up.

My first response to my dd if she told me this, would be to query why her work wasn't good enough.

This.

Has the OP come back to clarify whether the book was lobbed maliciously at her head or just given out by throwing them down on the table near her.

Hidden all very well saying perhaps she needs to work harder but how do you know O.P's d.d does not have learning issues. I suppose you're another one with a child who sails through school.
Of course O.P is angry ffs. How is she meant to feel. How would you feel. Had the child gone into school and said "My mum threw a book at me, we all know what would happen s.s would be called and quite right, too, so teachers can't have it both ways. As a mum I have never screamed smacked or certainly not threw anything at her. I'm not saying she's an angel far from it but I just don't see the point in roaring and bawling, so if I don't do it I most certainly would not allow anyone else to do it.

Also if the teacher can't handle kids getting things wrong she is most definately in the wrong job.
By the way O.P. Y.N.B.U.

I'd have a huge problem with this, I don't throw things at my children why is it ok for a teacher to???????
Surely a professional teacher can let a pupil know their work isn't up to scratch without throwing something?????

I wouldn't be happy about the teacher throwing thing. Surely there is a better way of making a child aware their work isn't up to scratch?

Social services would be called of a child went to school and said 'my mum threw a book at me'? With no more context than that? Surely not.

No one was hurt - apart from some pride.

From the sounds of it the OP's dd needs to try harder. The teacher needs a grip.

I wonder who would be the one complaining if the dd doesn't achieve good marks in her SATs?

Our teachers used to throw whatever came to hand (including mathematical compasses). Yes, there are better ways to deal with things but the level of complaint here is totally ott.

Agree you won't be told what formal action has been taken against the teacher. One at dc school reputedly threw a board eraser and was then "off" for a week or so. If you can't graciously accept the apology and take the head's word for it having been dealt with I fear there is more undermining your confidence in the school than this incident alone. The more you seethe , the less likely your dd is to move on. Agree you also need to quietly address any issues your dd had in class or with the work which may have triggered that reaction.

OP YANBU, this is an appalling way to deal with a 10 year old.
I would insist on a written apology and I would tell the chair of governors.

Nobody would allow for this behaviour in the if it was from one adult to another, so why should the OP just leave it because it a child.

in the workplace if it was from ....

Well. Quite frankly I'd want the book thrown at HER.

I'd be furious and no an apology wouldn't be good enough in fact it's rather lame.

As for the context/circumstances - the teacher and head obviously think it was bad enough to apologise for!!

Christ if a teacher can't control themselves enough to refrain from throwing things it's a bit of a poor show.

Imagine the outcry f someone posted on here that their DH had thrown something at her?! It'd be "LTB" all over the place!

ATruth your behaviour towards that pupil is shocking too.
If you can't keep your cool, then you should ask your deputy or head to step in.

It's not ok because it was frisbee style and wasn't intended to hit anybody.

And the fact that teachers used to thrown chalk board rubbers at pupils in the past is not ok and reason to allow for this.

Why not whack the child too - after all, pupils were caned in the past and they all lived to tell the tale

But yr 6- do you want to destroy your dad's relationship with the teacher/ school?

What? Because the teacher hasn't already partially done so by throwing something at her? The teacher should remain professional at all times with a child, even if the parent has a problem with that teacher. After all, it's not the child's fault.

I can't believe the things I am reading on here.

Ask for an urgent appointment with the head and teacher. Ask them to run through everything and tell them how upset you are. Her behaviour was totally unacceptable and there needs to be done formal recorded closure. I think you could take it further if you wished but it depends on various factors

Where is the OP?

I suspect she had not thought of the fact that the school is probably doing more about it than she knows. If there has been an apology from the Head, it is not a secret incident and she needs to assume they will deal with it. It would be inappropriate for the school to say more than they are dealing with it.

I'm not sure the OP needs something in writing. If she wishes to send an email to the school,simply acknowledging the conversation she had with the Head and teacher, that in itself is recording it. Within this email, there should be no further ranting about it or demanding further action. She could say something like. 'I am glad that the school have acknowledged the incident and are dealing with it'. I would expect the school to simply acknowledge receipt of the message.

I often find that when a person to person meeting has happened it is useful to put in writing what happened.....not to re-open the issue, but to ensure something is written down.

The OP now needs to move beyond anger towards the school. She needs to address the work issues with her child, which whilst certainly not justifying the throwing are clearly something which needs to be sorted out rather than ignored. Perhaps an email to the school could recognise this issue and ask for help with it........hence fostering a positive collaborative working relationship again. Not sure if the OP is able to move towards this,mbut it probably would be the most constructive approach, rather than demanding further action.

Was the work not good enough? Had she been mucking about? Teachers are only human and Y6 can be very trying.

Yes I complained about the TA who told DD1 of for not learning her spellings, but the TA in question did Y3/4 level English with my DD in assembly time then had a go at her for words she should have known she couldn't possibly remember.

Also I only complained after several other DMs complained she was a thoughtless arse in other classes too.

If it's the teachers first offence, I'd really let it go.

Whilst not excusable, the school has apologised, so there's not much more that you can do.....What is really important though is that you don't let DD think that you take sides with her against the teacher or school ....clever kids know how to exploit that kind of break in the line.....(I have been a teacher....)..so deal with it privately and don't dis the teacher or school in front of her..