To wish it was easy to move to the USA

[Highway65]

I've been watching The Pioneer Woman on Sky the past few evenings. It's utter drivel but I LOVE it!! It's this blog writer/cook living in Oklahoma and it just looks ace! All cowboys, horses and massive ranches. I want to live there.

Infact, there are loads of places in America that I would like to live. Europe has plenty of highlights too of course. Not where I live, it's just grey!! But I reckon I should have been born American.

I have family living in California. They both married Americans to get their green cards. I would be up for that if I wasn't happily married

I do like America, and I enjoy visiting and toyed with the idea of moving to NYC at one stage but couldn't see myself living there now. There are pockets of America that look like fun places to live, NYC or Seattle perhaps but vast swathes of it just look like one huge suburb from which there is no escape.

Such good advice juneau!

Not really, it's not isolated issues. Reproductive rights have been slashed in almost every state in the last decade - people are having to cross state lines to get care. The 32 school shootings in the US this year have been across the board in terms of area as have the 55 cases of killing by law enforcement officers this month (and that's just those that resulted in death where they admit it was an officer that killed them, there are also dozens of 'he shot himself while handcuffed in the back' this month as well). Country, city, suburb, it's happening everywhere. One of the ones last month was in my hometown where my brother used to work, posh overpriced suburb.

It isn't isolated. When the UN and Amnesty International are trying to get involved in the big player that the US because corruption and violence by government officers has gotten that bad, because human rights abuses have gotten that noticed, it really should bring a reality check. And that's before we get to health care costs and inequalities and massive poverty. You cant compare it to UK inner city violence vs the country side, this isn't gang fights, it's the people that are meant to 'protect and serve' that have people scared. That should speak volumes.

When the President can talk about a celebrity's death but can't talk about tanks rolling in to US cities and the government would rather give a man who killed an unarmed youth paid leave for half a year and put an area on martial law than simply arrest someone who already admitting to shooting him, the system is corrupt from the ground to the top.

I haven't given my kids my US citizenship, I don't think it's safe and would never want them to live there if things stay as they are now. As much as I pine for them to see their Metis heritage in person, I wouldn't risk the rest of the US to see it. I give as much love and support I can in their fights for justice, even my kith and kin in the heart of the rural Dakotas feel unsafe and wouldn't wish it on any of us.

I am in a lucky position I can get a green card

I love California and could happily move out there but not sure I would want to stay forever. I have family there but our ties are here at least until ds finishes his education through high school

he will have the option to go to college there which he may take up he may not that is his choice but a great opportunity for him to have

but there are things I miss about home when over there but if you have a bit of money behind you California is a lovely place to live

The grass is always greener. I grew up in a large city in California and now live in rural Yorkshire. People ALWAYS ask how I could chose Yorkshire over CA, don't I miss the sunshine, etc. but there are really special things in the UK too like the NHS, Radio 4/ 6, change of seasons, long maternity leave, ability to be a SAHM without going broke or being looked down upon.

DH and I used to say we would live in the US at some point, but now I think we are quite happy here. The only thing I truly miss is a large house . We have a reasonably big house by UK standards, but I would looooove a massive California sized house. My best childhood friend is currently building a house near San Francisco and I am green with envy... but then I remind myself that she went back to work a few weeks after giving birth to pay for it!

We try to spend 3 or 4 weeks a year in Santa Barbara and once DH gets put out to grass, probably in 5 years or so, the plan is to spend 4 to 6 months in California on a tourist visa. We'll just rent somewhere on a longish let, don't want to put too much £ into a property out there.

I love California.

I listened to Chris Evans while out there

I love San Francisco favourite city after London of course

YABU- I renounced my US citizenship a few months ago.

Actually, it's a shame I couldn't have donated it to someone who wanted it.

Yanbu. I have lived in the USA for nearly 9 years and am dreading what happens if my husband can't find an employer the second he gets his PHD. I do t ever want to move home to the uk. The kids are in a great school with almost no bullying - new kids come and are welcomed and invited by everyone to join in. If a neighbour goes to hospital the rest of the street organizes meal drop offs for the family. People still have a community spirit and lonely people are sure to at least have brief conversations every day as people are friendlier and talk to strangers.

Moving home would mean not living near the beach, not having long autumns of low 20's and brief winters with snow, proper hot summers and mild springs filled with enormous azaleas. It would mean not being a few hours from the blue ridge mountains for nature hikes and camping or skiing, or 4 hours from DC with all it's free museums and free zoo with a real baby panda...

The only things I hate about America are the guns and the health care and frothing republican/Christians. Everything else is wonderful and I often feel I am living in a tv show world. Halloween is insanely brilliant with amazing decorations on most houses, grave yards an dry ice set up in front yards for the kids and parties for adults, vodka Jell-O shots and cheese and wine for the parent trick or treaters... Thanks giving is lovely with a totally different vibe from Christmas - no gifts, just family and feast and friends.

We have been embraced by this country and there is a feeling of space, large houses for so much less. The people are generally more optimistic and a little naive at times, but it adds to the feeling of opportunity. The world can be yours if you just try hard enough. And have a pesky green card/citizenship.

If you are really desperate to come, apply for a graduate school here. They give good scholarships if you test well. That buys you between 4-9 years.

Taz1212 - trading nationalities, that could be genius.

I'm currently living in the US - and in Oklahoma too OP, but city not rural - and I would say that I'm glad we had the opportunity to come here, but I'm also glad we're not staying for good.

The landscape is incredible! Even just in Oklahoma you have prairies in the north, hills and forests in the east and desert in the west. The big open skies are indeed beautiful.

As others have stated, the food is pretty grim (there's a "living in America" thread where we spend most of time discussing where to buy produce that isn't loaded with high fructose corn syrup and preservatives), the healthcare system is a joke, the partisan politics will drive you mad (the Republican Party make the Tories look like socialists) and Oklahoma public schools are crap.

Our house does have a porch with a swing though

That's interesting to read your post Flying. It's great that you love living in the States so much and I hope you get to stay.

The world can be yours if you just try hard enough

I get the impression that many Americans no longer feel that this is true. Many people seem to feel that that the 'American Dream' is no longer a realistic goal as those with money have too much power and influence and are stopping others from attaining the same in case it might come at a cost to them.

I love visiting the USA and the beauty, wildness and vastness of some parts of the country are breath taking. It would probably be fun to live there for a while (on the condition that I could choose where) but I'm always happy to return to Europe and couldn't see myself settling in the USA permanently.

We transferred out to California with work. Planned to stay 3-5 years, we loved it so much we stayed for 10. A possibility came up for me to transfer back home shortly after DD2 was born. So we moved back to Ireland. Love being home, close to family. And my mom passed away since we've moved back, and I had a serious health problem. So coming home was definitely for the best.

But I have fantastic memories of living in Silicon Valley.

I agree with Juneau - life is pretty much the same wherever you live it, if you live in a western democracy. I've been in the US for 20 years and live a life very similar to my friends in Ireland and Europe - we work, worry about our children, meet friends, celebrate holidays etc. I've made great friends in the US, I don't worry about my children's safety, have never encountered anything much in the way of petty crime or violent crime (I don't live in a wealthy area, more blue collar). I have far better reproductive rights than if I lived in Ireland. That's my experience, probably related to where I live (Massachusetts). the USA is a big country. A lot depends on where you live in it.

Legion, agree, most people from the States haven't believed that for years (and for many groups decades, centuries...). Most are cynical of the American dream, we know it's just for the few who mostly get it from their families, we know that how most got their wealth wasn't through their own hard work but mostly the work of others, all USians I know are about as cynical about the "American dream" and that working hard will overcome systematic barriers almost as much as we are of Thankgiving - which is more fights, US football, joking about the lie the entire holiday is based on and that's for those not actively mourning or protesting during that time, but hey it gets us a few days off...

If the grass looks greener elsewhere, tend to your own grass.

brilliant. To the t-shirt printing shop Now!!

Flying, thank heavens that you shared that with us. It's good to know that the dream does actually exist!

Mrsfrumble, I would love to sit on your porch X

YANBU, there are lots of things I love about the USA, and I have several friends who married Americans and moved out there. They love the life they have. It seems a lot easier to have a very good standard of living on an ordinary salary - at least in much of America. I suspect they wouldn't be able to afford to live in NYC, but my friend in Idaho lives in a gorgeous 5 bedroom house - her DH is a fast food restaurant manager, she is primarily a SAHM with a small PT job! However, for many of the reasons listed by other posters above, I don't think I could live there. Well, maybe for a year or so.....

BTW, I love the Pioneer Woman - I make recipes from her blog. Had no idea she had a TV show, but then I don't have Sky so am out of the loop!

If the grass looks greener elsewhere, tend to your own grass.

This.

I will say, living in the US I do love living here. I live in one of the more progressive states where reproductive rights are left alone. We do have our problems though, just like any other country.

Just like any other country there are good places and bad places to visit. There's excellent schools and terrible schools here. It's really a mixed bag depending on where you live.

But it's not like we're flirting with death each and every time we step out the door. All the police officers I've come across have been honest and good people. My husband has never had a problem with the cops (and he's a dark dude), the worst he's gotten is a cop was a bit snippy when pulling him over for speeding. Yes. We need to reign in our police in certain areas. We do have problems with the south, it was where slavery took place and was fought for to keep, the last place to give into the civil rights movement, and the origin of the KKK. They are still racist down there, and I would never bring mixed DD anywhere near that place. But it's a bit unfair to paint the entire US with that brush too.

We had a home invasion where a guy broke in with a weapon. We called the police after we had to fight him off. They were over in a few minutes and pounding on the door. We thought it was the guy getting some buddies pretending to be police since they were here so fast. So DH opened the door with knives in his hands (again: dark dude), and guns pointed at him. They asked him to drop his weapons, he did and there was no incident. They came in, made sure it wasn't a DV, took a report, fussed over our pets, sent out a search team, and were very lovely and professional. This was in a bad area where police are targeted and they still remained professional and weren't trigger happy. Our biggest problem was tenants not wanting to talk to the police (god knows they all had drugs and shit in there) so they got no where as far as an investigation went.

So, it's not like there's a crisis going on here, it's a problem, but it's not KGB level. Our cops may be dirty, but they're not as bad as they were back in the 80's, which is probably why crime was out of control then. Although, I am glad that other countries are keeping us in check so the government doesn't get too ridiculous.

Obviously some states have the cesspool of humanity florida that you should never visit florida let alone live in florida.

The Pioneer Woman might be on freeview. It's on the Good Food channel. That's on freeview isn't it? She's hilarious! The way her and her husband interact is so twee and not believable at all. But it is a very entertaining show

Emmmm, my grass is doing just fine. I like the phrase, but my dreaming has nothing to do with wanting greener grass

The guy that shot McBride got charged with murder, so I don't think we can use that as an example. The point of self defense laws is that they need to be used in self defense. A 19 year old disoriented drunk girl is not a lethal threat.

Trayvon Martin is a better example. A guy started a fight, and then shot his victim and got away with it. The laws need to be revised, but I like knowing that if a guy breaks in I have the right to defend myself and my home with lethal force if necessary.