AIBU to think that churchyards are the most wheelchair unfriendly places ever and must contravene the disability discrimination Act or something?

[gremlindolphin]

Having just dragged my Mum in her wheelchair over rough grass, sinking in places and then had to do an obstacle course round other headstones to get her close to my Dad's, I am really cross!

I know that there is limited space and money, its a rural churchyard so its rural-ness it part of its charm but is it too much to ask for a path every now and again?

Surely a significant amount of visitors to graves must be elderly people? It makes me so cross on Mum's behalf that something she feels is important is so difficult for her (and exhausting for me.)

Any thoughts?

YABU and you know it

Yabu

I see what you're saying but I think that they need to conserve the land between graves to stop sinkage....

You'll need to talk to the PCC about what can be done in that particular churchyard.

If it's new expenditure, a donation or ideas for fundraising would I'm sure be very welcome too.

I think most Churches would welcome with open arms anyone who was prepared to offer help - either clearing and laying some paths, or paying for them to be put down, or organising a group fundraising project so it could be done.....

x-posted with same thought!

There's no room for paths in my local graveyard

You literally have to walk across graves to get to the one you're visiting

That was a massive no-no when I was growing up and hugely disrespectful, but sadly it has to be done now.

Big wide graveyards with pathways all round? I can't see that there's space.
Many of the sites were started up before anyone gave any thought to disability discrimination. And now we're in a situation where they use probes to try and squeeze in as many people as they can in triple decker graves.
The memorial area at our crematorium is all accessible.

My grandparents bought their grave plot back in the 1930s when their baby boy died. Even then it was the norm for lairs to accommodate 3 people - the first one goes in deepest and so on. It is absolutely nothing new.

I agree that new parts of graveyards should be laid out with paths but don't see what you can do about old ones, short of disinterring some of the bodies.

I suppose that people should think about where they want their loved ones buried and bear in mind how accessible that area is. You could have a memorial somewhere easier to access?

Sorry for your loss. X

Older graveyards were not laid out with disabled access in mind. In those days, if you were disabled, you were kept hidden inside. For new graveyards, then yes, but i have yet to see one have paths between the graves. Space is an absolute premium, i'm afraid. the grave diggers would prefer paths between as well, i am sure. However, don't hold your breath for change.

As for 3 coffins in a lair (plot) this is not new, as KatieKaye says. the deeds to your plot should tell you how many full size burials and how many cremations it can hold.

I know the layers aren't a new thing, but I though the reusing of old graves was and fitting coffins over other people's.

I suppose you're touching on the issue of whether, in the 21st century and with an ageing population, we have a responsibility to make everywhere disabled accessible or whether we have to accept that the historical, cultural and geographical baggage many places/buildings come with mean that we can't do that.

I don't know what the answer is. But I can see why you are upset.

Yabu but i can see where you coming from

I am sure the church authorities will only be too pleased to dig up all of the bodies and rebury them with lots of nice accessible paths.....

Yabu graveyards that are old are going to be like this unfortunately you cant put in paths where there grass and graves

lmao

I completely get where you're coming from. It is incredibly shit that such a simple act, that can mean so much for people, can be so difficult to have.

I can see why it has turned out that way and the valid reasons for it, but hopefully as time goes on and new burial grounds are created with access for disabled people in mind, this problem will naturally come to an end.

YABU

I can see where your coming from, it's a problem I have too. But as a wheelchair user I have had to accept that there are places I can't access or access easily and that sometimes it's no ones 'fault'

I'm sorry it's so difficult for your mum, it's horrible

Rural churchyards in particular are often hundreds of years old, and there are literally a few thousand folk buried in a small area of land.
This is why burial grounds are often higher than the areas around them and appear to be raised.
It is also ground sacrament to the lord. Holy ground.
I doubt they are lawfully obliged to dis-interr a fair number of remains and memorials to lay lovely straight and level pathways. Also any level path laid today will be completely bumpy and uneven after heavy rain, frost and snow followed by a hot summer so I would give it 5 yrs max at staying wheelchair friendly.

I too manhandle my very dear friend in her chair across bumpy and uneven ground frequently, so I understand where you are coming from. Unfortunately its just not viable as the time effort and money required to pay for, build and maintain a flat level structure is more than you would think.

Omg the comments on this thread are harsh.

Your mum will alway grieve and to many visiting the place of rest helps with that.

I suspect nothing can be done, but a bit of sensitivity wouldn't go amiss.

I've walked through mud to lay flowers on graves, and yes we weren't able to get MIL in her wheelchair anywhere close.

I'm sure it gave your muscles an unwelcome workout, but I've never been to a cemetary where every grave is easily accessible - let alone an old rural church graveyard!

Honestly - think about it!

I agree that sadly what you are asking is impossible in old grave yards (our local cemetery is pretty good).

Just how rough and awkward are church yard is was made very clear by a very thoughtless Vicar.

Funeral of my old music teacher, surprisingly few mourners, Son, his partner, us (we lived almost next door) and a few old women.

Beautiful hot day, vicar obviously want to be somewhere else. He raced through the service and almost ran to the grave side. He pretty much had the coffin in the hole before the oldest ladies had got across the uneven ground.

I am sorry you've had a hard day, but I think what you're suggesting comes under Building Regulations Part M, and they only came in late 1999/early 2000.

But I agree with pp who've suggested the Parish Council would welcome a contribution to do the work required, but it may just not be possible in an old graveyard.

Where do you propose the money to do this should come from?