to think its irrelevant if your children have the same father or not

[mls3]

Natasha has just given birth but the daily mail comments are awful
www.dailymail.co.uk/tvshowbiz/article-2766581/Ritchie-Neville-confirms-Natasha-Hamilton-given-birth-little-girl.html

Who cares how many times someone has been married!

It's irrelevant to anyone other than those directly involved. I do think it must be difficult if say, one father is, very involved and one isn't, hard on the dc of course.

Well, she's only 32 or 33, it's only her third child! she was married to the father of the first two. I think it would be ridiculous to impose a rule on women / or for women to impose the rule on themselves that it was 'unwise' or amoral to have another child. why or how is children's well-being pinned to how many fathers they or their siblings have.

I don't understand the slut accusations/shaming because it's not like every woman who has children with one man only is a virgin or whatever. Doesn't make sense to me. Do you think it's mainly men making such judgements?

why or how is children's well-being pinned to how many fathers they or their siblings have.

You do not see how the number of father's siblings have affect the child? Why must a woman have a child for every man she's in a relationship with? If this new relationship ends seeing as she's only 32 or 33 is she going to have more children for any subsequent partners?

I know it's her private business, but seeing as we're on a thread about it, I'd really like to know when do people think it's wise to stop.

I don't think anyone is accusing people of being a slut or shaming people, not on this thread anyway.

What happens when one father is able to pay their child's way through university, pay for driving lessons, pay for the big white wedding and help out with a house deposit and the other father refuses to pay a penny? Or ones father wants to take his dc on holiday to Disney world, and the other father won't even see the child during the holidays? I could think of so many scenarios where children living in the same home are treated completely differently by their NRPs, and while it might turn out ok for some children, it could turn out horribly for some others.

There are just so many potential problems that could arise. If people are going to have children by more than one person, then they have a responsibility to their children's emotional welfare to think things through from their existing children's and their potential children's points of view.

must be like parking wars on a saturday pick up

I am also surprised how some people think it doesn't make any difference to the kids. There have been many poster saying they have suffered because of people starting families with other partners. You only have to look at the threads referring to step children to see its fraught with issues.

It's her 4th child. I have to admit I do wonder why there is such a rush to have a new child with each partner. She only left her husband last year.

Like many others, she was only with the latest father for a matter of weeks before getting pregnant.

I think that's what seems the most reckless to me - why rush into presenting the new partner with a baby? Why not wait a year or two to see if you really are suited before adding more children?

Agree it's nobody else's business, but it is not irrelevant - not to her children it isn't.

X post with browneyedgirl!

It is reckless, to choose to have a child with someone she hardly knows, and it it breaks up it will be the state who picks all this up. It's a selfish thing to do tbh and she isn't thinking of her other kids IMHO..

4 siblings in my family

One mother

Bro and I to first father

Sisters to 2nd father

So 4 siblings, it doesn't matter that their dad is different to mine they are my sisters. End of story.

In fact my father became their "uncle" (sadly passed away now) and their father was/is my 2nd dad!

I wouldnt have children with different fathers. I like my children to be biogically the same and not mixed.

I do judge men and women who have children by different mothers and fathers.

Unless your DC are identical twins, they are not biologically the same...

I think it is relevant and I do judge but not just the mother, both parents because in most cases they jumped into having kids together but with no real substance to the relationship. She has several kids by several fathers, most of whom she wasn't with for long before getting pregnant and it seems to be the same for this one seen as they only got together last year. Yes sometimes relationships don't work out but you would think after maybe two kids to two fathers some people - not just her, would learn and take a look at the effect it has on the children.

I think as soon as you get into issues of blended/step families, half-siblings etc. there are so many variables it's completely irrelevant to make sweeping judgements about them, and whether they are 'bad' or not. 'Bad' compared to what - families where parents have stayed together for the sake of the kid but have a toxic relationship? Parents who separate from their DC's other parent through maybe no fault of their own at a relatively young age and resign themselves to a future with no more children, even if they would have wanted them?

It all depends on the individuals involved IMO.

lally

What a ridiculous statement.

Do you judge my mother who has only ever had 2 relationships in her life the 2nd being a 25 year marriage so far?

Or do you judge a woman who had been widowed early and went on to meet another partner and have children?

sorry lally

My last 2 comments were directed at myhusbandishardwork not you

I do judge men and women who have children by different mothers and fathers.

Wow. I hope my friend, whose husband committed suicide, and is only in her early thirties with two young girls doesn't decide to ever have any more children with her new partner - what a disgrace she'd be!

Or...don't be so fucking ridiculous.

I have children by 3 different fathers. Not one of my relationships with any of them was short,no shot gun conceptions early in,all planned.

Go ahead and judge it says rather more about you than it does me

My point was more about getting to know a person - man or woman of the relationship - before having children with them, more about the fact that these children are all from relationships which have lasted barely a few years, if even that. Your mothers 25 year relationship is considerably more than that and actually supports what I was saying about committing to a relationship (married or not - not the issue) and raising a child with responsibility within it.

It comes from a few friends of mine who have children by different fathers who got pregnant quick into a relationship and he leaves or whatever and "turned out to be an arse" and I cant help but thinking surely you should have taken the time to get to know him and realising he was an arse before saddling your child with an arse for a father?

*responsibly, fecking autocorrect

Should we all get written permission before falling pregnant, unplanned or otherwise? Maybe we should double abortion rates too while we are at it. No one would have to deal with the utter shame of having children with different fathers!
ffs, get off your high horse.
Is it your uterus? nope. Your body? nope. Your child? nope. Your mother? nope.
Then why have an opinion?
My mother had 4 children, her first, my sister, at . her second 3 years on, 3rd a few years later (moi ;) ) then her 4th 10 years ago.
my sister has a different father from me and he stopped contact when she was a baby, it might be different if he'd had contact with her but he didn't. All I know is, I love my sister and never phrase her as my half sister, she is there for me in difficult times, I babysit her son and always go to her if I need any form of advice and vice versa although we are nearly a decade apart we have a truly lovely relationship.
the ONE cell that created her doesn't mean that she is any less my sister or that I love her any less.
To all you women sounding off about how much you judge these women, How many men have YOU slept with, hmm? Because i doubt you've only slept with the one man you've only just caught with one man!

I've been with mine since highschool - age 13, had our first baby when I was 17 and he was 19 actually. The point was about the children, its shit being saddled with shit and absent parents - I know because both of mine were shit and absent. People should think before bringing a baby into a relationship, its not about getting permission but more like how good or shit either of them can parent - mother or father.

Also the string of stepfathers that can be involved in some cases too is shit for the kids, getting attached and then they're gone and they don't want to see you anymore because you aren't theirs so they only want your sister because she is 'theirs' regardless of the close relationship you built with a stepfather for a couple of years its onto the next one and starting again, another man; another baby and you feel the rejection all over again like you did when your own dad left.