to think its irrelevant if your children have the same father or not

[mls3]

Natasha has just given birth but the daily mail comments are awful
www.dailymail.co.uk/tvshowbiz/article-2766581/Ritchie-Neville-confirms-Natasha-Hamilton-given-birth-little-girl.html

Who cares how many times someone has been married!

Des O'Connor has 5 children by 4 different women.
What a slag.

yeh. the criticism of ulrika makes me see red. She ended her first marriage. That happens. Her second child's father left her when the child had a heart problem. Perhaps if a man hadn't abandoned his (sick) child then Ulrika wouldn't have gone on to have two more children. Who knows. But either way, Ulrika herself was the one doing all the parenting and she is more than able to fund however many children she has. So people show themselves up for the misogynists they are when this issue is brought up.

Rod Stewart is another "slag" Bodhranbae

My point is that what is 'adequate' care from a father will vary depending on the child and the father. Some DCs will thrive seeing their DF once a month. others will not thrive. For the DM to decide what she deems adequate for each child is daft really, each child is different.

A parent with different DCs in different families must have limited time with some of the DCs, is this fair?

Yes it is relevant to the children, all he shuffling about, different siblings, step parents, it can't be very stable for children. It seems to be more normal however these days. Poor kids.

It's absolutely ridiculous to judge because it's often something you have no control over.

If your husband ups and leaves tomorrow, and you have kids, what should you do? Join a convent?

Erm, people do have control over whether they have children or not longest! No one is obliged to have more children just because their husband left them.

Having more children might be a great addition to all the family, and I'm not saying it's wrong, but it needs to be carefully thought about and you are bonkers if you think people don't have control over it.

Yet nothing is every said about men who do the same.

I think the OP has the answer. It's not an ideal situation

I don't think that's true rainbow, it's been said plenty of this on here, and I be heard it said plenty of times in RL that men shouldn't have more children when they cannot adequately provide for the children they already have, both emotionally and financially.

I really don't think society in general thinks it's ok for men to have children with multiple women.

It's only relevant to the family it affects. I find it very sad that people judge so easily over these things. For some its so much better to not have further children and surely carrying on with your life should be commended and supported not pulled apart.

Don't be obtuse WooWoo.

You often have no control over the breakdown of a relationship, or the death of a spouse. Of course you have control over any further children (presuming they aren't a happy accident) but why should you only have one bite at the cherry? What's wrong with wanting children with a further partner?

Children by different fathers does not necessarily equal poorly brought up and ill adjusted children. To presume it does is terribly black and white.

of course it's relevant to the chilren especially as they get older

i personally think it is very selfish and irresponsible to have 4 children by 4 fathers,the thing is in this case the mother is a ZZZZZZZ lister and sells her life for all (especially her children to see)

it's a cheap buck to her,im sure her children will suffer now and later on in life

the likes of Kerry,Katie etc dont seem to care what the effects their tabloid tales have on their children,to me the children are used as income and i find it pretty poor parenting

They can keep their family life out the papers and mags (kate moss,posh n becks manage just fine) but they dont its all about the ££££ and in doing so highlights their poor choices,sadly for the children to know all about

Of course children who have half and/or step sibling aren't automatically going to be poorly brought up, I never said they were.

But I also don't think it's as black and white as just saying one relationship has ended for whatever reason, so why shouldn't people have more than one bit at the cherry. There are issues that need to be considered, things that will need to be dealt with well into the children's adulthood. And it's something that can be very easy to get wrong, but very difficult to get right.

So while people of course have the right to have as many children as they want and can support, creating half and step siblings is a bigger deal than creating full siblings.

To be honest, I feel really, really sorry for a lot of children in blended families.

They end up with a sense of never really belonging or fitting in anywhere. I remember Jacqueline Wilson's 'The Suitcase Kid' which was an extreme but nonetheless accurate story dealing with this.

I agree with WooWoo in that I wouldn't have more children with a different partner. I've seen first hand the damage that blended families can cause to children and it's not something I would ever do.

Too many downsides for the children and few positives.

I echo the comments that I find it embarrassing to explain that I have 4 half brothers from three different dads. Although I don't blame my mother for her poor choices as it was largely down to her own awful father, it was difficult for me growing up.

I actively chose a man who I knew I could be with for the rest of my life God willing and we were together and married for 5 years before our first child. This cautiousness was not coincidental.

She appears to have stumbled from one relationship to the next with no thought of how complicated she was making life for her children.

I hadn't given it much thought until my best friend died. She split with her ds's father when the ds was two, moved back to her hometown (200 miles from exh) and remarried two years later.

She then had her dd, and her ds saw his father once a month. He and his stepfather were very close.

When she died her children lost their mother, and each other, as both fathers wanted their child with them (understandably)

It has been very hard all round.

Yanbu. It's irrelevant to anyone outside of the family. Seriously misogynistic that women get judged for it but men don't.

Some of these comments make me so sad. My mother was left by my father and went on to remarry (she is now single again). My brother and sister are two of the best things in my life and I would have hated my mother to choose not to have more children because of some idea that half siblings were a bad thing.

My father also remarried twice and had more children who I've never met. I don't mind talking about it at all and have never thought of it as embarrassing, just an interesting talking point.

I am not minimising the experiences of others as individual lives are affected by things in different ways, but on the whole I think it is a shame to read that lots of people have negative views about this.

Daily Mail comments are always awful.
Having children with different men is the covert way some people have of inferring that the women in question are sluts. The media are incapable of mentioning Ulrika Jonsson without pointing out she has 4 children by 4 different men.

Yet how many kids does Liam Gallagher have? (At least '4x4', but possibly several more whose mothers did sign the gagging orders.) How many kids does P Diddy have, six? Mick Jagger has seven.

There is still definitely still a strong culture of men being lauded for having sex and pro-creating and women being hated for the same things. In fact it seems to be getting worse recently.

What pisses me off is all the sneering about single mothers. A lot of the time the mothers are single because the men have fucked off due to being twats or cheated, etc yet articles don't say the mother was left by the father of her kids.

It isn't that having half siblings is a bad thing, at all.

But there are issues. A common scenario - one I've certainly seen more than once - is when mum and dad have a child or children, split, then both mum and dad remarry and have another child with new partners.

The 'first' children can sometimes end up not really wanted in either home, as the priority is the current partner and child.

I can see a situation where one (or some) child has no contact with their father and another have plenty of contact being painful. And if all the fathers are on the scene I can only imagine how difficult that would be.

To me it's not the issue that the children have different dads, but the fact that some people have children as soon as they get into a relationship.

I can understand going into a new relationship and having more children if the first one breaks down, but a third and fourth, fifth?? Really is that wise? At what point do you say 'I've got enough men/women tied into my life now through having children with them and just decided to stop having more kids.