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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

to think i will have too much money on benefits.

325 replies

5toocoolforschool · 23/09/2014 12:07

OK so dh and i have split up.He is staying with a friend and is finding somewhere else to live.We have 5 children.He is a relatively high earner and i have always been at home with the kids.

I have applied for everything i am entitled to (income support,child tax credits,child benefit,housing benefit, i will not have to pay any council tax- was not entitled to any of these before)

On top of this i will be receiving maintenance from Ex.

All in i will be receiving £3,300 per month!

That is only a couple of hundred less than dh gets paid.

I am porting this partly because i am sure i have missed something,should i not be getting maintenance from dh as well?Everywhere i have looked says i can.

Partly,i just think its bad.I mean i wont be claiming these forever,i have been accepted on a course (again which i wont have to pay for,which i will be given a grant for childcare)and after that i will be working again,so 3 years max.

But now i can see how easy it must be for someone to just see this as a lifestyle.

OP posts:
IgnoreMeEveryOtherFuckerDoes · 23/09/2014 13:56

Also depending on ages of children they will be expected to share rooms so your local housing benefit allowance will be reduced. With private renting its very rarely that full rent gets covered

Original poster
5toocoolforschool · 23/09/2014 13:56

That sounds awful bumbling.I hope your friend manages ok and turns things around.

OP posts:
basgetti · 23/09/2014 13:56

The OP itself is awash with misinformation. Talking about how easy it must be for benefits to be seen as a lifestyle, when the majority of LPs aren't lucky enough to get any reliable maintenance anyway, and the benefit figures used weren't even correct.

Lone parent families are actually twice as likely as other households to live in poverty, but it doesn't seem to stop goady threads like this and the frothers jumping all over it.

Original poster
5toocoolforschool · 23/09/2014 13:57

It said on the form and the man on the phone said i was exempt.Will re check just in case.

OP posts:
Meglet · 23/09/2014 13:58

Our maintenance means the dc's can have swimming lessons, new shoes and (educational) days out. Just because XP pays maintenance that doesn't affect my working tax credits doesn't mean I'm raking it in.I think maintenance affects HB and income support though ?

And check the price of childcare, it is not cheap.

The government are chipping away at all benefits so if you do find yourself in a comfortable position for a few months make sure you squirrell it away.

Original poster
5toocoolforschool · 23/09/2014 13:58

I have to point something out.

I am not LUCKY to get maintenance,it is what SHOULD happen!

Its what is supposed to happen!

OP posts:
RandallFloyd · 23/09/2014 14:00

Just be aware that once your youngest is 5 you will no longer qualify for Income Support and will switch to JSA with all the usual conditions. Not meaning to scare-monger you but it is something you need to keep aware of. There's no special treatment for single parents on JSA, you're lumped in with everyone else and governed by exactly the same rules.

I'm very glad we live in a country where a single parent and her 5 children will be supported to live well and not abandoned to fend for themselves. However, although it may sounds like a lot on paper, once you've paid all your bills and fed & clothed yourself and all 5 children you'll be surprised how little is actually left.

I hope you manage well and are able to get on your feet and make a life for yourself and your children but please don't count your chickens. Until your claims are finalised you won't know how much you will receive, the benefits checkers are notoriously inaccurate. Also, be aware that you have no control over how much you receive. It could change at any time and there's naff all you can do about it.

Don't underestimate how it feels to be totally reliant on 'the system' for your income. If you have a couple of unexpected expenses one month you can't do a few hours over-time to pay for it. You get what you're given and that's it. Don't underestimate the psychological impact of that.

That sounds all very doom & gloom but it's not meant to be. If you are lucky in that your circumstances are simple you will receive enough money to live your life and that's exactly how it should be. Just don't fall into the trap of believing all the DM hype. You won't be living the high life and you won't be supported to not work for very long. There's only a very short window where you qualify for IS, once you switch to JSA it's a very different story.

ilovechristmas1 · 23/09/2014 14:01

op i think the best thing is for you to go and see if there is a benefits advisor,welfarer adviser,contact your local CAB they should be able to get you in contact with somebody that can give you clear and accurate account of your entitlements

good luck,i wish your family well

basgetti · 23/09/2014 14:01

Yes it should happen, but it doesn't. So most LPs are having to deal with the reality of that. They don't need false information about their 'lifestyles' being bandied about.

Momagain1 · 23/09/2014 14:02

Take evry inch of lifeline you are offered. Maintaining a stable home now, means the DVs lives and education will be more stable and they will earn better, and that plus educating yourself improves your lot when you are a pensioner, and all of that will reduce the need for govt help by any of you in future, even into your grandchildrens adulthood.

Seriously.

ArsenicFaceCream · 23/09/2014 14:02

The OP itself is awash with misinformation. Talking about how easy it must be for benefits to be seen as a lifestyle, when the majority of LPs aren't lucky enough to get any reliable maintenance anyway, and the benefit figures used weren't even correct.

Also true. I must stop tackling threads last post first.

Original poster
5toocoolforschool · 23/09/2014 14:02

Yes randall i know all of that,fingers crossed i wont be needing to by the time youngest is 5,shes only 9 months.

OP posts:
RandallFloyd · 23/09/2014 14:03

Check HERE for your housing benefit entitlement.

Original poster
5toocoolforschool · 23/09/2014 14:04

Its still not luck though is it.

OP posts:
Original poster
5toocoolforschool · 23/09/2014 14:04

Randall

I have already done it ........

OP posts:
RandallFloyd · 23/09/2014 14:04

If she's only 9 months then that gives you a nice buffer.
Make the most of every minute!

RandallFloyd · 23/09/2014 14:06

Wow, if you live in a private rental and get all your rent covered by HB then count yourself very lucky and never, ever move!

Original poster
5toocoolforschool · 23/09/2014 14:06

Thanks i will do. :-)

OP posts:
ilovechristmas1 · 23/09/2014 14:09

There's no special treatment for single parents on JSA, you're lumped in with everyone else and governed by exactly the same rules.

wrong

as much as i hate Job centre plus they do have differrent rules for single parents,and you are NOT treated the same as a single person with no dependents

your job searches wont be as many as a single

your hours epected to work will be lower than a single

your hours will be able to fit in with school (that dosent always work but you do get more fleibility)

basically a single parent will have less restrictions than a single

Waltonswatcher · 23/09/2014 14:12

I bloody well hope the op has it wrong.
I can't trawl through the thread to update myself as toddler needs waking . If the post stands , then I am appalled .
Dh had a serious stroke two years ago . He was back to work ASAP to feed our family and pay our mortgage . It's our responsibility to fund our lives if we are able to .
Benefits should exist for those that need it , but in this case it seems (on the surface) to be far too much .

ArsenicFaceCream · 23/09/2014 14:13

OP why did you post in this way, with this thread title?

Original poster
5toocoolforschool · 23/09/2014 14:14

I don’t know,what’s wrong with the way and the thread title?Im just being honest,i don’t think it comes across goady as a few people have said.

OP posts:
ghostland · 23/09/2014 14:17

I think you will get caught by the benefit cap which has been rolled out nationwide and is £500 per week; www.gov.uk/benefit-cap

ilovechristmas1 · 23/09/2014 14:20

please go to the CAB (i posted up thread)

it will put your mind at rest and you can budget accordingly

it best be very hard at the moment,relationship breakup,5 children on your own and confused as to your financial future

good luck

KellyElly · 23/09/2014 14:36

But now i can see how easy it must be for someone to just see this as a lifestyle. You lost me with this comment.

You are in a fortunate situation to have very low housing costs and an ex who earns good money and will pay you decent maintenance. I would imagine many single parents with five children will not be in this situation.