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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

To think the school should be able to spell my sons surname correctly?

34 replies

drivingmisslazy · 22/09/2014 10:01

Its not exactly an unusual surname 8 letters, it ends in ly and people often spell it this way or ending ie, ds has been at the same school for 4 years now, the first 3 teachers did not have a problems spelling it correctly, but his new teacher does, I had to speak to her as all his books, tray and coat peg were all labelled incorrectly, this was changed week before last, but last week he came home with his reading record spelt incorrectly again, I just crossed it out and spelt it correctly.

This morning I looked in his bag and he had a certificate for achievement but it was screwed up, he normally wants to put it on the fridge but didn't with this one as it was spelt wrong again.

TBH I am used to people getting my surname wrong all the time, but its has really annoyed my son.

OP posts:

MammaTJ · 22/09/2014 10:07

Have you thought about changing the spelling of it?

Sorry, YANBU. The teacher would be told!

Is your DS in year 3? He can actually be told to politely correct her.

seasavage · 22/09/2014 10:10

YANBU.
My daughter's surname is said in a certain way (long vowel rather than short). When it was mine this didn't bother me. But there is a teacher who persists in saying it wrong. This drives DD1 a bit bonkers, because this teacher also has a surname said with a long vowel sound (it is even the same letter). Why we don't know!
Keep correcting the teacher, surnames aren't used much but it is there on the register every day!

madamginger · 22/09/2014 10:13

Yanbu. When my dd started her teacher spelt her name wrong on everything, I was really annoyed because it was spelt right on her application form. I just went in and had a word and it was sorted. Our name is Mc and it was spelt MCc on all her books.

EatShitDerek · 22/09/2014 10:14

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

TheOneWithTheHair · 22/09/2014 10:17

YANBU. Dd's first name is constantly being shortened and it drives her mad. I've spoken to school but nothing changes. I fear it is now stuck.

ElephantsNeverForgive · 22/09/2014 10:17

YANBU
I had a maiden name that becomes much more common if you change one letter, it drove me mad the number of times people got it wrong even if I spelt it out.

I had friends called Humphries and Humphreys which I confess I may have muddled, but teachers should have the right spelling in the register and jolly well check.

DD2 is actually pretty tolerant of people miss spelling her first name, although she did cheer when the HT got it right on her very last Y6 report.

He has a DN spelt the other way and I think it became a bit of a standing joke.

Idontseeanysontarans · 22/09/2014 10:19

YANBU. My maiden name was one that could be spelt in eleventy million a few different ways and I spent most of my school years correcting teachers. It's bloody annoying, they could just check the register!

Lucked · 22/09/2014 10:24

Before I was married I had to constantly tell people my surname had an S on the end, now I am married I have to constantly say no S. I am doomed.

DSs nursery keep adding an S, it is starting to irk, particularly when it is on things you want to keep.

I would ask the teacher for a new certificate with the correct name, hopefully she will be embarrassed and that will be the end of it. Could a TA have written it?

Johnogroats · 22/09/2014 10:30

My son (then aged 4) corrected his teacher the first time they met. To be fair, his name is Fearghal, so not unreasonable for her to have struggled first time,

Never an issue since then....DS would sort it out pronto if there was

MoominKoalaAndMiniMoom · 22/09/2014 10:45

It is something you just get used to. I went through a stage of trying to correct people, only to be told I had it wrong (yes, I spell my own name wrong apparently) and now I just roll my eyes and hope they take the hint. I get my first name spelled with two Ds rather than one (and sometimes Y rather than I), and people always leave a T out of my surname. They're not even particularly unusual names or hard to spell!!

moxon · 22/09/2014 10:52

Oh how I hate this when it happens to me. Bad enough as an adult when you can remonstrate. Awful as a child when you feel intimidated by authority.

Blueistheonlycolour · 22/09/2014 10:56

It is my pet hate when people spell names incorrectly. My poor son has a 9 letter first name AND last name so I'm expecting both names to be spelt incorrectly.
My first name often has a letter added into it and I won't accept it. It's not my name!! I've had people say "oh it doesn't matter" but it does to me!!!

Original poster

drivingmisslazy · 22/09/2014 12:13

Glad its not just me then.

Ds has said that he has said it to her two times and she still gets it wrong so he has given up.

I will have another word when I pick up tonight.

Thanks for the replies

OP posts:

ShadowStar · 22/09/2014 12:35

YANBU, especially as you've already had to correct her spelling, you'd expect her to take more care after that.

SauvignonBlanche · 22/09/2014 12:41

Take the certificate back.

steppemum · 22/09/2014 13:06

Please, please take the certificate back, and say that it has his name spelt wrong on it, and ds was upset and it completely spoiled the joy of getting it.

I have sent certificates back as ds first name was spelt wrong. There is only one spelling of his quite ordinary name, but it has a double letter and lots of people double the wrong letter.

We have a similar problem with our surname. It has lower case first word - think du Maurier, and it is always spelt either Dumaurier or Du Maurier.
It seems so petty, but dd2 has come home with EVERYTHING spelt wrong. Our family has been at this school for 4 years with 3 kids, you would think they would get it by now. Dd1's teacher is fine.
I am trying to work out how to politely tell dd2s teacher without making an issue of it.

When ds went to his secondary, every thing we have had from them is correct. I am impressed.

Lordnoobson · 22/09/2014 13:06

did you really need to ask?

BasketzatDawn · 22/09/2014 14:59

Very reasonable in this situation to write a brief note reminding all concerned that the family name is spelt xxx not yyy and requesting that all 'documentation' is changed to the correct version.

I can't recall the details now but one of my sons in primary school used to correct any wrong spellings of his name himself - on his reading marker IIRC. The mistakes soon stopped. He still (as a 21 year old with significant learning difficulties) will remind people his first name is 'full version' not 'common abbreviation' - though he lets me call him short version. I may not have given these boys money but I have taught them assertiveness .....

cuddybridge · 22/09/2014 15:55

Sadly, I had to correct the teachers all the way through my sons years at school, he's 19 now. He has a name that is common but can be spelt with a single or a double letter, the double version is more popular, but not the one we picked.

I was sent home a report a few years ago saying that he required more attention to detail (he has dyslexia) and the teacher spelt his name wrong 4 times, I sent it back corrected and asked for another one.

ithoughtofitfirst · 22/09/2014 16:05

People always pronounce my surname incorrectly. And it's always the same wrong. I even get "that's a pretty surname". Yeah what you said is... But that's not what it is. I had a lovely common surname before getting married too.

Yanbu.

MiaowTheCat · 22/09/2014 16:53

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Topseyt · 22/09/2014 17:20

You are not unreasonable at all.

We have a fairly simple to spell surname, and people get that wrong fairly often. Sometimes with comical results, I must say. Other times it is just plain irritating. There are two possible spellings and I don't mind pointing out which one the first time I give it to someone, but it is when you have to keep repeating it time and time again that it gets infuriating.

I haven't had a problem in school though. Lucky, I suppose.

TeacupDrama · 22/09/2014 17:36

we have a "Mac" surname it is Macdonald ( not really) but we get McDonald MacDonald even McCDonald

it was right on initial records at school and to be honest they are actually quite good;

went to one health service provider and told had to be Mc unfortunately for them as I also work in NHS I was able to inform that actually it is perfectly possible to spell our surname correctly on the computer

though infuriating I try and just be amused when people insist I either spell or pronounce my surname wrong it is the commonest spelling and obvious pronunciation

fedupbutfine · 22/09/2014 18:08

she may have had a child with the same name spelt in the other way in the past. I am afraid that as a teacher, I am awful (truly awful) with names and half the time just look at a student I have been teaching for 3 years and have a moment of 'who the hell are you?' in my head. I had two students last year, in separate classes, who had exactly the same name but they pronounced it differently. That caused me no one of errors! I had two other students who I just mixed up constantly for no other reason than I just did. It became a standing joke with the class - to the point the 'right' child would answer the 'wrong' name! They were good natured about it. I am struggling this year with a boy who's twin I taught last year (identical) so I just call him by his brother's name all the time. I have 10 classes, plus a form, with at least 30 students in each class. That's over 300 names, plus I need to hold on to the names of students I used to teach for when I see them around so I can make some appropriate 'how's things?' or 'stop running' comments when I need to. Sometimes, with the best will in the world, I get it wrong. As frustrating as it is as a parent (and I do understand where you're coming from), be good natured about it because I doubt very much it is being done on purpose.

AlpacaLypse · 22/09/2014 18:16

fedupbutfine I think OP's been trying hard to be good natured about it but when it reaches a point that a child is embarrassed and upset about a certificate of achievement surely the good nature starts to run out?

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