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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

to refuse to have breakfast at 5am?

82 replies

Kveta · 21/09/2014 06:47

DC have been up since before 5, as per usual. They are ratty, I am ratty, DH is getting his second lie in of the weekend because I couldn't get back to sleep.

Anyway, they are pestering me for breakfast, and I am refusing, on the basis that 7am is as early as I can cope with anything handling food at the weekend. They have had a mug of milk each already btw.

DS (4) thinks I am being deeply unreasonable, and DD (2) agrees with anything he says anyway.

Since they have been unreasonable and comprehensively ignored the gro clock, and woken us all up anyway, am I being unreasonable to not make porridge before 7 a.m.?

OP posts:

flumperoo · 21/09/2014 10:57

I'm wondering what time they go to bed (have I missed it?) I might be stating the obvious, but it sounds like they need feeding and putting to bed later if they're always up that early.

Artandco · 21/09/2014 11:12

At 17 months mine would still have 2 naps a day so would just move naps to suit. So 8am wake, 11am -12 nap, 3-5pm nap, 9pm bed.

Quangle · 21/09/2014 11:13

I had a rule that nothing good happened in the house before 7am. No talking, no playing, no food. It was hell for a year but worth it. Now no one gets up before 7am but it took a long time of having toddlers jumping on my head while I resolutely stuck to my bed.

3pigsinblanketsandasausagerole · 21/09/2014 11:17

But art if I leave my house at 6.50 how do you expect me to get my dd up at 8am?

BettyFocker · 21/09/2014 11:27

YANBU.

If DS wakes up before 7am (which is very rare thank god) his options are either go back to his bed or come sleep in mine. He goes back to sleep instantly every time so I've no idea why he wakes up in the first place!

Breakfast is usually 8am or just before as we don't have to leave the house until 8.45. If I fed him at 5am he'd be snacking by 8 o'clock!

Quangle · 21/09/2014 11:28

No one is expecting anything of you. It's just advice. Your rule might be 6am not 7 or. 8. But it's your rule in your household.

Artandco · 21/09/2014 11:30

I don't, I'm just saying naps can work at this age if too tired. Above is what we did. Surely if baby gets say 12-14 hrs sleep in 24 it doesn't matter when. So for you maybe 6am wake, 10am-11am nap, 3-5pm nap, 8pm bed. Fri and say nights bed 1hr later, aiming for 1 hour later in morning. Dinner at 7pm.

I just don't think anyone can expect a child to go more than 12hrs without food at night. So 4.30pm dinner, then anytime from 4.30am is game tbh. 7pm dinner, then they can wait until 7am or later. Adjust to suit obv

furcoatbigknickers · 21/09/2014 11:31

Yanbu. Before 7= nightime

3pigsinblanketsandasausagerole · 21/09/2014 11:37

Unfortunately dd point blank refuses to nap before 1pm these days. She usually naps from 1/130-2/3pm at the moment

I don't even think dinner would work at 7pm for my school aged children to be honest

Artandco · 21/09/2014 11:42

It's just a suggestion. Maybe you could move by just an hour for now ie 5.30pm instead of 4.30pm.

Mutley77 · 21/09/2014 12:38

I'm with you - my DC2 always woke up at 5 (absolutely latest 5.45) until he was aged 3 and it was hell!! We never did breakfast though - DH and I would both have to stay lying down until at least 6,30 so once one of us had brought him into our bedroom we both dozed while he prowled round our bedroom (perhaps we did let him have milk or dry cereal I can't remember getting it though!). We actually put a TV in our bedroom so we could distract him with channel 5 milkshake when it started until we were ready to get up.

When he was 3 the gro clock worked and we never looked back with him!

Although now we have DC 3 (aged 15 months) - luckily although she wakes anytime between 4 and 6 am she usually has milk and dozes until 7, so there is still no early breakfast in this house - in fact generally now it is rarely before 8 (given that the youngest has had milk and the older 2 can snack on fruit or dry cereal - or if they are desperate get their own)!

GreenPetal94 · 21/09/2014 15:03

Have you considered feeding the children more the evening before so they are not waking up because they are hungry.

ds1 was always an early riser but now at 13 I've noticed he is up a bit later. I taught my kids just to play in a safe room / watch TV and then we all had breakfast at 7 ish.

Original poster

Kveta · 21/09/2014 16:37

well, a couple of years of trial and error has taught us that a) our children eat at lunchtime, no matter what we do. Plenty of dinner is offered, but generally, they get their main calories of the day from lunch, b) no matter what time we put them to bed, they are up between 5 and 5.30 - so they go to bed at 6pm, and I don't care what works for anyone else, this is the only way they get enough sleep! and c) they won't starve if they get a beaker of milk first thing but have to wait for their breakfast!

So I may be a tad unreasonable to make them wait 2 whole hours if they are up at 5, but I am not having my breakfast before 6 on a weekday, and 7 at the weekend!

OP posts:

Original poster

Kveta · 21/09/2014 16:40

oh, and if DD naps past 2pm, she doesn't go to sleep until 10pm, and neither DH nor I can really deal with that shit every evening, so she is in bed by 6 every night too.

OP posts:

Snatchoo · 21/09/2014 17:48

Oh god, kids that get up at 5.30! My worst nightmare.

YANBU.

ChippingInLatteLover · 21/09/2014 18:29

Of course you are being unreasonable, not to mention cruel, not to give them breakfast when they are hungry because you choose to feed them their main meal at lunchtime and have them in bed by 6. How much longer do you want them to sleep than 11 hours?

No one is asking YOU to have your breakfast then, just feed your Kids.

Explored · 21/09/2014 18:57

I agree with Chipping. I can see absolutely the benefits of a 6pm bedtime but you have to have your children awake sometime. Why would they need (much) more than 11 hours sleep?

Original poster

Kveta · 21/09/2014 19:52

we don't feed them their main meal at lunch time - they just eat more at lunch than they do at dinner. dinner is normally substantial and a hot meal, lunch is soup or sarnie or similar, but they will eat lunch, and rarely eat much dinner. And the fruit bowl is always there if they want it! I just refuse to prepare a pan of porridge or make toast or whatever at 5 a.m., which is what they are nagging for.
and I thought 2 year olds should be sleeping 12-14 hrs a day, and 5 yos 12 hrs or so? 10 hrs sleep is not enough for DS anyway!

OP posts:

3pigsinblanketsandasausagerole · 21/09/2014 20:08

What's hard about sticking bread in the toaster though? Doesn't take much

I come down with dd. Pop her in highchair. Heat her milk and give it her. Flick kettle on. Pop bread in toaster. Make brew. Butter bread.

Takes about 3 min

Yabu

slightlyconfused85 · 21/09/2014 20:14

It's not hard - it's just way too early to be eating anything substantial. They will be hungry again by 8am. My DD is an early riser (more like 6-6.15 than 5 luckily). She gets milk, and breakfast from 7.30am, 7 if she's starving. She would be hungry again very soon if she ate as soon as she got up, and she'd probably get up earlier and earlier expecting to be fed.

I don't see the OP complaining that her children are up (although I'm sure she doesn't love it) just that they want feeding at this ungodly hour!

ithoughtofitfirst · 21/09/2014 20:22

Wouldn't even occur to me to refuse but i can't see anything wrong with being awake at 5am. I am normally starving in the morning too

ChippingInLatteLover · 22/09/2014 09:10

it's just way too early to be eating anything substantial

Rubbish and when is 'toast' substantial?

They will be hungry again by 8am

and?

Kveta

It's not enough at that age that the fruit bowl is 'there'. If you don't want them waking up so early and starving then you need to encourage them to have something before bed like a banana or toast. Though I would do it the other way and give them breakfast when they wake up. Porridge is easy to make in the microwave and toast is easy to make. It is not nice to make children, who can't get food for themselves, wait a couple of hours when they are hungry until you can be arsed to make some toast. Not giving them breakfast when they get up is not making them sleep any longer so I don't see your point there at all.

HolgerDanske · 22/09/2014 09:26

Make your porridge in the slow cooker overnight and it will be ready every morning with no effort at all, at whatever time you might need it

duchesse · 22/09/2014 09:30

Bloody kids. 5am is still the middle of the night. How to convince them of that is the thing. YAabsolutleyNBU in my view.

duchesse · 22/09/2014 09:34

And chipping, if you want children to not feel hungry after a scant few hours, carbs are not the answer- making sure they get adequate protein in their evening meal is more to the point. But also ensuring they aren't eating too early in the evening. If like many children in the UK they eat their last meal of the day at 5 pm (I haven't RTFT so haven't picked up on when you feed them supper OP), I can't blame them for being hungry at 5am. DD3 (just 5yo) eats a family meal at 7:30/8pm, goes to bed by 9 ahem, and sleeps until 7:15/7:30, which suits us fine. I guess it depends on the family timetable whether a 5am breakfast is acceptable. In OP's case I'm guessing not.

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