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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To hide from my housemate?

52 replies

BibiBlocksbergv2 · 21/09/2014 00:01

Because he has talked AT me constantly for the last six months?

If i respond i get three words through a sentence and then he mows across me again with his own oh so important monologue.

And the detail, dear god, the detail & repetition of stories i've heard at least twice a week since i moved in.

escaping to the bathroom doesn't work, he just shouts louder, if i go into the garden/other part of the house he follows me and carries on!!!

i've addressed this with him in a calm reasonable manner several times now, he looks sheepish, tells me others have told him he talks too much, he reigns it in for a week then its back to business as usual.

Today has been particularly bad so i snapped at him and have spent the day hiding in my room and saying only 'uh-uh' and other such non committal noises to stem any further flow of diatribe from him (only partially successful so far!)

He's finished talking at a plethora of friends and family on the phone and is now busy critiquing the contestants of xfactor (loudly and to an empty living room)

What is it with some constant talkers, is it like a tick or something or do they just consider themselves so amazing and important that they must drone on lecture style every minute of the day? Confused

WIBU to keep up the hiding and non committal uh-hu-ing til i find somewhere else to live :)

OP posts:
Veritata · 21/09/2014 00:06

Can you just keep a sign to hand that you hold up to him when necessary saying something like "You're doing it again! Say nothing for at least 30 minutes". And when he starts repeating himself, have another sign saying "I've heard it before. Do NOT say it again."

HauntedNoddyCar · 21/09/2014 00:10

Headphones? Even if you're not actually listening to anything? Accompanied by the international sign language for sorry I can't hear you.

DaughterDilemma · 21/09/2014 00:11

I know a few of those, marking my place to get ideas on how to cope and understand why the heck they do that.

DaughterDilemma · 21/09/2014 00:11

I know a few of those, marking my place to get ideas on how to cope and understand why the heck they do that.

Ipigglemustdie · 21/09/2014 00:11

I tried the uh-hu-ing thing for several years and i still live with them Sad

scarletforya · 21/09/2014 00:12

Get industrial ear defenders!

I can't believe he's talking to an empty room!

Original poster
BibiBlocksbergv2 · 21/09/2014 00:12

:) Veritata, thanks, that made me laugh! Might do that actually, i've got a picture of the bald one from MasterChef on a cardboard stick for work purposes (one side happy, other side really frowning)

Make that bigger and add the messages, sorted. Show blabbermouth smiley side for good behaviour Grin

OP posts:
AgentZigzag · 21/09/2014 00:14

I know exactly how you feel, DD2's just the same, but she's fucking four!

You're probably right about it being some kind of nervous tic, although the people I know who 'lecture' talk at people usually only do it when they're pissed, which can be worse, one of them starts straying into pretty outrageous/offensive opinions.

I don't really go in for talking or constantly having someone going on like a fucking mosquito/white noise (that's a fucking torture technique isn't it??), so you're doing well not to have committed murders so far Smile

Sounds like this is just the way he is, so if you can't stand it or you can't come up with a way of letting him know that he'll react to, is any chance of you not living together?

BibiBlocksbergv2 · 21/09/2014 00:16

This reply has been deleted

Message deleted by MNHQ. Here's a link to our Talk Guidelines.

AgentZigzag · 21/09/2014 00:16

I'm getting a bit stressed just thinking about the constant attention he needs.

How do you do it day in day out??

AgentZigzag · 21/09/2014 00:17

Eek, not sure about describing as raping your ears.

scarletforya · 21/09/2014 00:18

Murder him. It's the only way.

ashtrayheart · 21/09/2014 00:19

HmmSame re ear comment.
Maybe he is on the autistic spectrum, my son can be a bit like this.

ashtrayheart · 21/09/2014 00:20

Not saying it isn't annoying!

pictish · 21/09/2014 00:20

I have known a couple of people like this. They can't not talk. It's a constant stream of conciousness just spilling out.
There is nothing you can do but move out.

DaughterDilemma · 21/09/2014 00:22

I'm thinking dark thoughts about superglue...

DaughterDilemma · 21/09/2014 00:24

Perhaps you live with Chris Evans?

FlyingRincewind · 21/09/2014 00:26

My dad used to be like this. When he started he just would not stop. If you tried going upstairs or moving to another room he would just carry on and get louder to make sure you could still hear. Even if you went to the toilet he would carry on talking at you through the bathroom door!

There were a few times when he had been talking for over an hour and I had stopped listening long before - then he would ask a question or for my opinion and I would have no idea what the hell he was asking about!

Original poster
BibiBlocksbergv2 · 21/09/2014 00:26

Yes, strike the r word, bit inappropriate i agree, was trying to describe the feeling of being utterly trapped with no escape from the blah blah blah.

well, i can go out i suppose and i do frequently if only for a walk. Shouldn't have to feel like i need to run from my home when i don't want to.

OP posts:
Original poster
BibiBlocksbergv2 · 21/09/2014 00:30

Chris Evans - ha ha ha - no, he is in my good books after introducing not one but three new Queen songs on his breakfast show yesterday :)

Superglue eh? There is some extra strength stuff in the cupboard that the window fitters left last year

Commiserations for those also going through challenging times with a motor mouth and thanks for making me laugh - first time i've talked about this to anyone, very cathartic already.

OP posts:
bloodyteenagers · 21/09/2014 00:40

Sounds like one of my dd's.
From the moment she realised the sounds she made were meaningful, she has never stopped talking. She constantly talks about anything and everything. Because she talks so bloody much she is also repetitive. She started talking when she was 18 months. She would even talk for her siblings, in fact still does. She's 18 now, and still the bloody same.
She is aware of it. People tell her, nicely to be quiet. We still play the quiet game, although she has never won it.
I hide from her when it gets too much. But most of the time I just somehow block her out. I know that really sounds mean, but seriously, come and spend a week with her and you will understand.
She isn't autistic or anything. She just likes the sound of her own voice. Most of the time she talks utter shite. Just because she can. Even when she has had tonsillitis and it's painful she don't stop. Middle of the night, she is sleeping, but still talking.
I have sat there, looking at her whilst she is babbling on about nothing thinking wicked and strange thoughts about how to get her to be quiet. These are the times I remove myself and hide.

So yanbu.

ChelsyHandy · 21/09/2014 00:47

I had a housemate like this once. But she was cunning, as she would continually ask you stupid and pointless questions. She just did not get it when you would "hmmn" and "mmn" at the seventieth question that hour. I remember sitting watching the Olympic 10,000m on TV - As Mo Farah crossed the line it was "Oh, is he British?" "Do you think he is tired?" "Farah? Farah? Isn't that the name of an actress?" and so on.

I made up an excuse and asked her to leave, for the sake of my sanity and her safety. She was very attention demanding and needy too.

Original poster
BibiBlocksbergv2 · 21/09/2014 00:59

bloodyteenagers - that must be a difficult situation when its your own child who is so talkative, you've probably perfected a fair few coping strategies over the last 18 years (in addition to seeking refuge in another room and the quiet game?)

I was just thinking about the blabbing during tv programmes ChelseyHandy, the one i live with is the same. except he will also 'mansplain' every plot and predict whats going to happen in the next few minutes.

Like that you've been framed clip before the ad break but not funny.

When i pull him up on the patronising plot explanations he blames his ex whose english apparently wasn't very good. Errm, ok then.

OP posts:
AdmitYouKnowImRight · 21/09/2014 07:10

Where do people acquire these housemates? Isn't it normal to move in with friends rather than house share with random strangers and all their foibles?

Vitalstatistix · 21/09/2014 07:48

My husband is like this when he is drunk.

I finally lost my temper and told him that there was no point talking to me because he did not want a conversation with me, he wanted me to be his audience and he could get stuffed because a conversation is between people who are having their turn to talk and taking time to listen and if he just wanted to talk, he could do it into a dictaphone.

Before you think that was overly harsh, it was after over a decade of being polite about it all. I finally snapped. Grin

now I tell him each and every time he does it. I laugh and ask him are you wanting a conversation or expecting me to be your audience?

Maybe you should see if that works.

failing that, every time he talks, you could say "I don't care" or "I'm not interested"

You may have to look for a new flatmate of course, but it's certainly going to get the message across Grin

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