To hide from my housemate?

[BibiBlocksbergv2]

Because he has talked AT me constantly for the last six months?

If i respond i get three words through a sentence and then he mows across me again with his own oh so important monologue.

And the detail, dear god, the detail & repetition of stories i've heard at least twice a week since i moved in.

escaping to the bathroom doesn't work, he just shouts louder, if i go into the garden/other part of the house he follows me and carries on!!!

i've addressed this with him in a calm reasonable manner several times now, he looks sheepish, tells me others have told him he talks too much, he reigns it in for a week then its back to business as usual.

Today has been particularly bad so i snapped at him and have spent the day hiding in my room and saying only 'uh-uh' and other such non committal noises to stem any further flow of diatribe from him (only partially successful so far!)

He's finished talking at a plethora of friends and family on the phone and is now busy critiquing the contestants of xfactor (loudly and to an empty living room)

What is it with some constant talkers, is it like a tick or something or do they just consider themselves so amazing and important that they must drone on lecture style every minute of the day?

WIBU to keep up the hiding and non committal uh-hu-ing til i find somewhere else to live :)

My colleague is like this. It is overwhelming.

If she isn't talking or changing the subject round to her, she's making strange yelping noises or coughing loudly. It is very attention seeking.

As an introvert, I find her absolutely exhausting and impossible to work with.

Move out!!!

My ADHD son does this. I get him medicated (not just for that reason, obv). His psychiatrist completely understood where I was coming from.

Tell your friend to discover Reddit and waffle online.

Oh gawwwd... I AM one of these people. I wish I could stop! However, having tried and failed I am now fairly up front about it and tell people just to tell me when I "go off on one". They'll just say "quiet time please!" or "Ummm... you're doing it again" etc etc. Next time just have the conversation again and then suggest a code word/phrase for when it gets too much. Yes it's a sensitive subject but you both deserve to be relaxed at home and if he's aware of it as long as you're not mean or rude about it then it won't be a conversation he hasn't had before.

My OH did this until I finally snapped and shrieked at the top of my voice to fucking shut up about fifty times with tears pouring down my face.

It upset him to see how much it affected me and has never done it since.

It was like living with a budgie on speed.

It's not even so much the incessant chatter is it? Although that's irritating enough, it's that they look for a response!
It's just so overbearing and disrespectful to be pretty much forced to focus on them the entire time. And when you make what you think are clear indicators that you are not enjoying being talked at about a subject you didn't bring up and have no interest in, they are willfully ignored!

Then when you finally snap, feelings are hurt.

It would be much easier to just plug the flow in the first place, but I don't think they can.

My next door neighbour is one such person. He's a lovely, kind, easy going man...but he just talks and talks and talks, and it is so full on, he is impossible to interrupt or stop without seeming rude or abrupt. So I'm just left standing in my garden listening to the diatribe I didn't even ask after, like a rabbit caught in the headlights, while my pasta boils over inside. I contribute to the conversation not at all.

Horrendous.

I also had an aquaintance years ago who was very similar. I feel asleep on the sofa at a party in his flat one New Year, and woke up to the sound of him talking to a room of people who were ALL passed out asleep.
Mental.

'Budgie on Speed' that did make me lol but of course its not funny when youre having to live with it.

'Mr Budgie' here has gone out for the morning so i was enjoying the rare peace in the garden when i got caught by a passing neighbour.

Never met him before in my life, on and on and on he went, another one who seemed to think i was very rude to want to have a turn in the 'conversation'

Onviously i'm transmitting some sort of energetic signal that says 'fill my lugholes with never ending noise'

Nodding at the poster with the workmate and odd noises - that happens here as well and the loud exclaiming of 'oh bollocks' 'oh no, i can't believe it' etc - obviously designed to get a 'what's happened' response from me.

Looking at other house shares asap :)

Never met him before in my life, on and on and on he went, another one who seemed to think i was very rude to want to have a turn in the 'conversation'

YY this is what my neighbour is like. It's all about him and I'm not supposed to contribute. If I do, I end up talking over him (because he never stops talking) and he pauses for a couple of seconds in a "you're rude, but I'll be tolerant" sort of fashion, before battering on with whatever it was he was waffling about first.

Really - it is so socially inept.

pictish - only just seen your post - that is exactly IT for me, the utter presumtiveness and disrespect at being forced to listen to their diatribes despite very obvious boredom and discomfort from the other person.

Add to that the rudeness of them when you are daring to speak (i've had eye-rolling, sighing, wrap it up hand movements', talking over etc and then they get arsey when you dare to be upset.

Leaves me feeling like an object being used and invisible, horrid.

Bibi - yep...I know. They're always impatient for you to shut up so they can get back to talking about whatever shit they were monopolising you with before you were so annoying as to interrupt.

Seriously...fuck off.

:) Fuck Off - yep! Often wonder what would happen if i actually said that. in fact i often wonder why i feel so reluctant to upset people like that when they don't give a hoot.

The level of detail really gets me as well (sorry all, floodgates have opened with me now :))

Take last week as just one example - he insisted on telling me precisely what the white stains on the front of his trousers were (yep, exactly what you're thinking) and when i say insisting i mean it - through me literally shouting (again) I DO NOT WANT TO HEAR DETAILS LIKE THAT and hot footing it out of the room, still had it shouted at my retreating back.

There's no cure i know, just very therapeutic getting it out!

My brother is an incessant talker, and he PACES up and down as he does it. It is exhausting. But my brother is a good bloke who just loves to chatter. Your housemate sounds more like a verbal bully. I would really think about moving out. I know you shouldn't have to, but he will drive you spare.

And to the PP who asked why people move in with strangers - if you are in the South East on a low to average income, you often have no other option, at least in the short term.

Bibi, you have my sympathy. I had to share a house with someone just like this while my landlord had some building work done. His incessant monologuing swiftly broke down all my reserves of politeness, and made me feel exactly like a frustrated toddler - I had to clench my fists constantly to stop myself yelling SHUTUPSHUTUPSHUTUP YOUAREABORINGMAN - and I'm generally a totally English very polite woman. In the end, I managed to use it to my advantage by encouraging him to hang out in the kitchen by moving the tv in there; my visits to the fridge went down dramatically and I lost a stone without really trying.

I think you should use your droner in similar way: as an incentive to find a better flatshare. ASAP.

Urgh, my ex-flatmate was like this - he'd corner me while cooking and talk right through my dinner, follow me into the kitchen when I washed my dishes, then even if I hid in my room he'd come in and sit on my bed until I basically told him to leave. Sadly I have no advice, I finally had to move out because he was a nightmare to live with.

Verbal Bully Siqaq? interesting, i hadn't considered that, feels accurate though.

Love your inventive way of dealing with your house share talker wildfig and yes, need to figure out a move asap.

Slight complication involved as i have cats to think about as well, house mates one as well since his was very neglected and starved when i got here (now happy, fat & rules the roost)

Yet housemate claims he loves the cat and wouldn"t give him up but i know the minute i leave cat will be ignored again and made to live outside.

Sorry, this is turning into a right drip feed saga

Sand what makes it difficult for you to stop? This would be really useful for us to know in handling the chatterboxes in our lives.

My grandmother was the worst I ever met. Could go more than an hour without drawing breath. No awareness of appropriate conversation topics or timing.

My DH is pretty bad. He can go long periods of time without talking, but will go off on one at least once a day. I do not care about his run, his latest phone app, or his trip to the supermarket. At least, I do not care after the first two sentences.

Worked with someone like that. Exhausting. She once gave forth a 45 minute monologue about her friend who didn't get what they ordered for lunch, say, they ordered chicken on brown bread, and it came on white...and they said...and she said...zzz. I used to tune her out, when I could.
It was only when I was no longer working with her that I discovered others found the same with her. Very overbearing personality.

We call such people oxygen thieves

Bibi - I apologise for bringing The Past into this, but as a longterm lurker on your magnificent (and inspiring!) break-up thread, do you think your capacity for putting up with unbearable irritations is maybe affecting your tolerance for this behaviour? You make it all sound so funny, despite being genuinely dementing to live with, and you're already looking at his poor cat as a reason to stick it out: don't anecdotalise away the pain - MOVE! Life is too short to spend in a state of permanent indigestion.

Flatmates who steal your milk are one of life's irritations. Flatmates who steal your will to live are not.

I have an 8yo ds who does this so you have my sympathy. I often pretend to fall asleep as it's literally the only way to make him quiet for a bit! He's spent the whole afternoon so far singing "I like big butts and I cannot lie" on repeat, after watching Shrek at his dad's!

Oh, Blimmin' 'ell, I had someone like his as a client recently.

He turned out to be a real arsehole, and in the end, I walked away from a substantial fee, because it was better that way (not because of the constant talking, there was another, serious reason).

Anyway, he then rang me to apologise, and ask me to reconsider doing the work for him after all. As the reason for not doing it hadn't gone away, the answer was "no", but he would not accept that, and in the end I had to talk over him, saying thank you for clearing the air, but I was not going to continue our work relationship, and I hung up.

No doubt he thought I was rude to hang up on him, but, to me he was rude to waste my time when I had already made my position clear!

" Fuck Off - yep! Often wonder what would happen if i actually said that."
Truly, I think you SHOULD say it and find out.

If you don't change how you deal with your housemate, they won't change how they deal with you . I do think Sicaq has a point, that this is a form of bullying.

If you go into another part of the house he follows you?

I would be v wary of this character. He lacks self awareness, lacks social skills, has no consideration for others (even the cat), has no self respect & no boundaries.

These things can be related to psychological or mh issues.

Please dont tell him where you are going when you move out. Dont leave any forwarding address or info with anyone. Just move, preferably on a day when he is out.

All the best.

I feel for you, OP! My MIL is like this. Every meeting is a rundown of all her neighbours and acquaintances lives and she gets pissed off if I lose the thread of who she's talking about - I've never met a single one of them. I actually ran away the other day with a 'sorrygottadashcantwait' when she offered to walk me to the car (parked 10 minutes walk away) I was so exhausted after a whole evening of it. I feel my blood's been sucked after a couple of hours. I can't reasonably tell her to fuck off but you can tell him to! Do it for the rest of us! (As soon as you find a new flat )

crikey wildfig, you've got a good memory! (no need to apologise by the way )
My history is partially why i keep quiet about the calamities in my life, because i keep putting myself into these crazy situations, lets face it, no one was holding a gun to my head when i decided to go into shared accomodation and i feel like a right twat for having made the choices i have over the last year

That's not meant as self pitying as it probably sounds, i know i need to address the common demonitator in the situations i end up whining about - moi! :)

Liketohelp - funny you should say that, my gut tells me to go quietly with no forwarding address when i find somewhere new!

To quote right said fred though 'poor pussy cat' :(