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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

heard my neighbour being abused

43 replies

tanya1010 · 20/09/2014 13:47

Last night i heard my neighbour being abused. It was very early hours of morning. She had obviously been locked out, when she was let in she was quite obviously abused. The walls in my flat are very thin and i could hear everything. He quite obviously wanted sex and she didnt. I lay there thinking should i go to her aid or call the police. I dont know either of them as they have only recently moved in. To be honest many of the neighbours talk about them as most nights the whole block hears them going at it like rabbits ! However last night was different ! I really felt for the poor girl. Eventually it went quiet, but i just cant help thinking should i have got involved and called the police ?

OP posts:

BertieBotts · 20/09/2014 13:48

You can report it now. Please do :( Call 101 as it's not happening at this moment.

Guitargirl · 20/09/2014 13:49

Yes you should have called the police.

Fairylea · 20/09/2014 13:50

Call 101. If everyone can hear then anyone could have reported it.

She may be wanting to leave in which case someone else saying it isn't acceptable and putting her in touch with some help may be the push that she needs.

gentlehoney · 20/09/2014 13:54

What stopped you from calling the police? Where you frightened he would know it was you?

Original poster

tanya1010 · 20/09/2014 14:11

Guess i was just scared and didnt want to be nosey or get involved in something that i guess was nothing to do with me. I know that sounds bad but estate is quite rough and i suppose a bit scared of outcome

OP posts:

Nancy66 · 20/09/2014 14:12

how do you know she was abused? Maybe it went quiet because they went to sleep?

PacificDogwood · 20/09/2014 14:14

Report it to the police.
You can do that anonymously and might just save a life.
'Rough estate' or not - if it sounded like she was being beaten and/or raped, you should report it.

KnackeredMuchly · 20/09/2014 14:15

Call 101 now - do the right thing.

Proudmary67 · 20/09/2014 14:19

Poor poor woman. Going at it like rabbits????? How do they know this was consensual it's possible the poor soul was given no option. This has made me so angry. Please don't sit back and do nothing you could possibly save her life

StealthPotato · 20/09/2014 14:19

To be clear...you heard a woman being beaten / abused / possibly raped and you did nothing about it?

Jesus wept.

Call 101.

WorraLiberty · 20/09/2014 14:22

It could have been role play I suppose, but you can't be sure so telling the Police what you heard would be the best thing to do imo.

angryangryyoungwoman · 20/09/2014 14:23

You must report this, now.

whyhasmyheadgonenumb · 20/09/2014 14:32

This happened to me, I heard my male neighbour being beaten up by his girlfriend, it was obvious who was doing the abusing. I rang 101 and the police went round. He's still there but there's been no arguing since.
He obviously doesn't know it was me who called but I didn't feel comfortable knowing it was happening, if I was being abused I'd want someone to help me.

catsofa · 20/09/2014 14:35

Call the police now. Call your nearest police station rather than 101. Every station has to have a designated Domestic Violence Officer, and this is who you should ask for. Attitudes vary wildly among police officers, and 101 may shrug you off with "Is a crime being committed now? What do you expect us to do about it?". A designated Domestic Violence Officer will not do this.

The DV officer will take info from you - just give the address and describe exactly what you saw and heard. Make it clear that you absolutely do not want to be identified to the neighbours, this should be obvious anyway but it doesn't hurt to say it. They will take the info and then you will not hear anything about it. But when anything at all further happens that the police are alerted to, they will have your background info and will be far more alert to the probability of abuse going on in that house. That could save someone's life.

Police will ask for your name, date of birth and address. You do not have to give this info, no matter what they tell you. Your address may be relevant to what you could hear, but of course you can tell them you don't want to give it because you don't want to risk uniformed officers turning up at your door because the neighbours might see.

And next time you hear anything like this, call straight away.

whyhasmyheadgonenumb · 20/09/2014 14:39

I rang whilst it was taking place, they did ask if the 'crime was being committed right now' and they seemed to take me a bit more seriously then. They were there within 10 minutes.
The next day they knocked on all the doors in the street making sure everyone knew how to report DV and posted leaflets, a week later they did the same so I'm glad I called. I don't know if anyone else did - it was bloody loud!

Original poster

tanya1010 · 20/09/2014 14:45

I have listened to all advice here and i called police. They have taken statement from me

OP posts:

3pigsinblanketsandasausagerole · 20/09/2014 14:46

Well done op

HeySoulSister · 20/09/2014 14:49

Wow, you moved quickly there!

Hope your neighbour is ok

PacificDogwood · 20/09/2014 14:52

Well done

It's never easy to do these things, but we all should.

JustTheRightBullets · 20/09/2014 14:54

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

WorraLiberty · 20/09/2014 15:14

Blimey, did they blue light someone round to you?

LadyLuck10 · 20/09/2014 15:16

How can you possibly know for sure she was being abused? What's the chances she denied it all.

Original poster

tanya1010 · 20/09/2014 15:22

Phone statement

OP posts:

PacificDogwood · 20/09/2014 15:27

You don't need to be 'sure' that somebody was being abused to report it.
I'd much rather overreport than stand by when somebody was being beaten up.

yellowdinosauragain · 20/09/2014 15:28

Ladyluck so you'd advocate not getting involved if you thought you heard your neighbor being abused just in case you were wrong or they denied it?

Op you did the right thing. She may deny it but knowing someone is looking out for her may give her the confidence to ask for help next time. And if you're wrong? No harm done.

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